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CO 40TH SIG August Special
 After our illustrious leaders announced "Don't worry, we'll be home soon... unless we aren't. But you can feel certain things won't get any worse...unless, of course, they do," the forward Gators decided to hedge their bets. Yes, friends, family and fans, Alpha Company is going native. We're learning to ride camels, we're applying for Kuwaiti Passports and, believe it or not, SGT Rivera will be running for President of Kuwait in November.

SGT RIVERA: As President I will assure that there is a graucba in every pot, a rug in every tent and a million gallons of crued in every swimming pool

SPC Bise: Sean-olah Ak-Bisa, Security Secretary and chief fashion advisor to Presidential hopeful Almove-ova Rivera

SFC Grimm: My business is sheep. Big Sheep, Little Sheep, you want - I got. Come on down to Crazy Aba Dabba Afad-a-Todd Grimm's Sheep Shack.

SSG Lindeman: Hook a brother, bling bling!

PFC Lowery: Mustofa Bug-wata Lowery

SPC Roybal: Evil North African dictator known as "Papa" Roybal

SPC Schrimpsher: Dustofa Anagotta-Lavita Awana-mor Schrimpsher

PFC Stark: Awanna-herom Alah-Bikini-Models Stark

PFC Pompa: Did-someone Calla My-momma Pompa

SGT Johnson: Oh, Man! These guys are gone crazy!