In the begining there was a Bob. Bob was the ruler of the universe.

Bob was a simple ruler. He did not sin, get jealous or kill. All Bob ever did was eat his cookies and drink his milk. One day while drinking his milk, Bob accidentally spilled his milk. Instead of cleaning it up Bob took the milky goodness and created heaven. Bob liked fluffy things, so he formed the milk into clouds, and set his throne on the milk... err clouds and made a home.

Years went on and Bob thought to himself one day, "I am the ruler of the universe, why should I have to go to the kitchen and get my milk and cookies". Bob then came up with an ingenus idea, create some house maids to get him his prized possesions. Thus God and Satan was born.

God was the cleaver one, always made sure the milk was cold and fresh. Satan was the caring one, baking the cookies to perfection. One day after watching Satan slave over a hot oven to make Bobs' cookies, God had an idea. God walked up to Satan, convienced him that they should rule the universe since they make the very essence of Bobs' exsistance. The following day, God took the 12-gauge shot gun and blew the cows brains out. Satan started buring the cookies and making them dry.

Satan brought to Bob, some very dry cookies. Bob unknowingly ate them all up and was in desperate need of milk, but God was no where to be seen. Bob in a frantic ran into the kitchen to grab some milk, but all he found was empty bottles. He then ran outside to his barn, to find his precious cow lying dead on the ground. Bob started to choke on the dry cookies.

God entered the barn, and told Bob where some milk might be. So in a frantic, Bob followed God. Unknown to Bob was that as God was sending him the false message, Satan was loosening a cloud. Bob followed God for a short distance, then all of a sudden, God stopped and told Bob that the milk was just over the next cloud. Bob was so delighted that he ran, unknowingly, over to the next cloud. As he ran a cloud, the one Satan loosened, came loose , making him fall into the endless void of the universe. Bob soon perished due to the lack of milk.

As I said before, God was the cleaver one. God wanted to rule the universe alone. So one day he made the sun and all the planets. He told Satan he wanted to show him what he created, so they went to the very same cloud Bob fell from. God pointed to what he had created. As Satan stared in awe, God kicked him in the ass, making him fall through the same hole that got Bob.

To Gods suprise, Satan did not hit the Sun as planned, but the earth orbited just in time to catch him. This did not really bother God because he was the only one with a key to heaven. Satan was hurt, and vowed from that day on, he would do anything to ruin Gods experiment.

But remember folks, in the begining there was Bob, and Bobs exsistance was Milk. For he could not eat his cookies without milk, but could drink his milk without cookies. And if it was not for Milk, God would never of been created. So in theory, Milk is the true god.