On this page you will find letters that my daughter Kelly and myself have written to Jesse. In time other family members may add some but for now just mine and Kelly's will be here. The first letter is written by Kelly. She wrote it on January 12, 2002.

Dear Jesse,

As I leave for the navy there's something I must do and that is to tell you Good-Bye. I don't want this to be a forever Good Bye, Just a short bye, because you will always live in my heart.

You were and still are my only brother.I cherish every minute that we spent together in your 16 years here with me. From the day you came home from the hospital I totally thought that mom had you just for Me.

Growing up I did everything for you, so much so you called me mammy.As we got older you called me by name, but yet I still continued to do things for you and one of those things that I did was stand by your side no matter what you did or what you were doing.By me doing that, that was my way of showing you that I loved you more than anyone around me.

You made me so proud of you everyday of your life and I am so sorry that I never told you how I felt nor how much I loved you.You meant the world to me.I think about you constantly.There isn't a day that goes by that I don't cry over losing you.

Given the chance to ask you to come back, I wouldn't do that.I know that where you are, you are happy and you have nothing to worry about. Whereas for me I have to worry whether we are going to war and if I will be sent.

I guess what I want to say is Thank You. I want to Thank You for being my role model. you lived your life the way you wanted to.You didn't care what others thought. If there was something that you wanted or wanted to do you didn't let anyone or anything stand in your way.

Looking back I realized that that is how I need to live my life, so that's why I choose to go into the Navy. This is something that I must do. But as you know I hate good byes, they are so hard for me.It's taken me two years to accept the fact that you are dead and that I will never be able to touch you, smell you, see you, or hear your voice. When I have a problem I can't just pick up the phone and call you.Instead all that I have of you are memories. 16 years of memories that have to last me a lifetime.

While I am fighting for our countries freedom I will hold you dear to my heart, But until that day that we meet again, Good Bye and I will ALWAYS Love You.

Jesse

Many times I have been over in my mind the details of the night you left us.I have relived that night many times in my nightmares, the end is always the same. You have gone on to a better place and I am left here with a big hole in my soul. This hole should be filled with smiles from you, your words, your laugh,and new memories.But instead of new memories I must recall the old ones because that is all I have left of you are old memories and pictures.I cherish my memories each day as I recall each one in hopes of keeping you near.I fear that over time my memories of you will fade, although I know my love never will.Losing you is the hardest thing I have ever tried to face.Each day without you I tell myself I will remember him only with smiles today, but soon my smile turns to tears because I miss you so much.

The night that you died I prayed as we traveled to the accident site that God what let you stay long enough for me to say good bye.I then prayed that you knew how much I loved you and I told God not to keep you here just so I could say good bye.I knew when my prayer was finished that you had left us, and that I would be to late for you to hear my good byes and for me to tell you one last time just how much I love you.November 17th 1999 was truely the worst night of my life, but I keep telling myself that I had to suffer the pain of your loss so you could go to heaven where you will always have a smile on your face and nothing to worry about.Besides isn't that what every mom is suppose to wish for, that her children will always be safe and happy.

I am very proud of you Jesse, not for just the things you did while you were here on earth but for acheiving the goal that the Lord put you here for in just 16 years 6 months and 29 days. I know you accomplished your greatest tasks and that's why God called you home.Each day as I think of all the lives you touched as you walked here on earth and the many more you reached from heaven my pride for you fills my heart and I have to smile as I think to myself "That's My Boy."

I pray each night that you did not suffer on the night you left us, I hope that God left the suffering for those that you left behind.I Love you Jesse and I hope each night as I drift off to sleep you hear me as I whisper good night to you.

Good Night Jesse, Mama Loves you.

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