The snow finally stops, and we go out, only to find…
Crow: Okay, it seems that only Chino, Wes, Corey, and Sid’s torches didn’t go out. Well, I guess we’re gonna hafta kick the rest of you off the island.
Rain: Dude, we need a final voting committee!!!
Crow: Yeah!! Uhm, who should we have?
Rain: How about Slipknot?
Crow: Yeah, and the folks at the bottom of the lake!!!
Rain: Yeah, yeah, and Limp Bizkit!!!
Crow: And MICK!!!!
Rain: Dude, Mick's in Slipknot, you idiot!!! Screw it!! Everybody can vote!!!
Mick comes over, and grabs us by the throat.
Mick: Grrrrrr….puppy-kittens vote toooooo!!!!
Crow and Rain: Okay!!!
Mick drops Rain and Crow. They hit the ground, and sink about four feet.
Crow: Dude!!! We found some buried treasure!!
Rain: Hey, this is what the winner can get!!!
Crow: Yeah, it’s a lot better than getting Corey to hump them!!!
Everybody: Awww, man!!! You promised us!!!
Everyone goes their separate ways for the time being. Rain and Crow then get an idea.
Rain: Dude, isn’t it time we flew in someone new?
Crow: Yeah, dude!!! And I know just who!!!
Rain and Crow fly away in a plane to bring in…
Tony Hawk: I’m gonna have fun skating up this place!
Richard: I’d like to skate up you!! I guarantee that’ll be fun!!!
Rudy: Goddamn queers. Get the hell away from me.
Everyone piles off of the plane. Tony Hawk goes around, skateboarding on everything. Richard and Rudy run around, trying to see if they can find anyone for a three-some, or the more rare four-way. If only they knew that Fred Durst and Scott Stapp were at the bottom of the lake…
Richard: Where’s that Joey guy at? I bet he’d be good.
Rudy: Shut up, queer.
Richard: Or that Craig guy. He’d be fun.
Rudy: Fucking fruit.
Richard: Y’know, I hear that Shawn guy is into bondage. He could teach us fun things…
Rudy: Hmmmmm….
Richard and Rudy decide to go off in search of Shawn. Suddenly, a new form comes out of the plane.
Gervase: You guys let me sleep!!!
Gervase looks around.
Gervase: Where are you guys?
Gervase gets silence in return.
Gervase: Oh, well.
Gervase decides to lay down and take a nap.
Gervase: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……..
While Gervase is sleeping, Chino finds him.Chino begins doing what comes natural to him.
Gervase: (waking up) What in the world?
Gervase looks down to see Chino kissing Gervase’s naked chest.
Chino: Do you want me, baby?
Gervase: Ahhhhhh!!!!
Gervase leaps up.
Chino: Is it true what they say about black guys? That they have big dicks?
Gervase whimpers.
Chino: Let’s find out, shall we?
Chino rips off Gervase’s pants. Gervase’s cock shrinks until he becomes an invert. Gervase then snaps out of it, and kicks Chino in the crotch. Gervase then grabs Chino in a headlock. Chino then starts taking his tongue and playing with Gervase’s nipple.
Gervase: Perv!!!
Gervase starts punching Chino in the neck, and then proceeds to kick the shit out of Chino. This is when Rain and Crow stumble upon them.
Rain: What the fuck?
Gervase: This guy tried to rape me!!!
Crow: Really?
Gervase holds down Chino while Rain and Crow run a rope under his armpits.
Chino: Oh, so that’s the way you like it, huh? Why didn’t you tell me? I could have tied you up!!!
Crow and Rain hang Chino up in a tree, dangling naked over a vat filled with piranhas. The piranhas keep jumping up, chomping at Chino’s crotch-less area. Meanwhile, Richard and Rudy and searching for…
Rudy: Shawn!!!
Richard: There he is!!!
Rudy: (lustily) Hello, Shawn.
Richard: Hey, I hear you like bondage…do you want to teach me and Rudy a few tricks?
Shawn: What the fuck?
Richard: You know…
Richard runs his finger over Shawn’s chest.
Richard: Come over, tie us up, have your way with us…
Shawn thinks about this for a second.
Shawn: Okay.
Shawn follows them to a little shelter. They have a bed there, and Richard and Rudy climb in.
Richard: Okay, what are we doing?
Shawn begins tying Richard and Rudy up.
Shawn: This is a game called “human pinata”. First we tie you up…
Richard: Sounds fun…
Shawn: Now, we take out a stick…
Rudy: Yeah, yeah…
Shawn begins whacking at Richard and Rudy.
Shawn: AND WE BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU!!!! I DON’T FUCKING SWING THAT WAY, GODDAMMIT!!!! YOU STUPID GAY ASS BASTARDS!!!!
Shawn continues beating on Richard and Rudy until they are a broken, bloody pulp. And the people rejoice. Ahhhh….but what happened to Tony Hawk? Well, we join up with him about five minutes later, and he’s still skateboarding around the island. Well, Tony Hawk’s dumb self is running around, popping ollies all over the place, when Wes steps into his path, and well, let’s just say there is a skateboard sized welt on Wes’ forehead. Crow just happened to see this.
Crow: Damn you!!!! You killed Wes!!!
Crow runs over and begins stomping on Tony Hawk.
Wes: But I’m not dead!
Rain: Shut up!!! He might stop before that fuck is dead!!!
Crow continues said beatdown.
Rain: DIE TONY, DIE!! DIE TONY, DIE!!! DIE TONY, DIE!!!
Every one else starts joining in on the chant.
Everyone: DIE TONY, DIE!! DIE TONY, DIE!!! DIE TONY, DIE!!!
Finally, Crow stops beating on Tony Hawk.
Crow: Wes, are you okay?
Wes: Yeah, I think I need a doctor, though.
Crow: We’ll hafta vote you off.
Wes: Okay.
Crow: Okay, we’re down to Sid and Corey.
Speaking of whom, where are they? Well, they are running around grabbing corn, again. Corey looks over at Sid. Suddenly…
Corey: Oh, my god!!!! It’s Denise Richards!!!
Corey goes running over, and begins humping Sid’s ass. Sid is still picking corn, and Corey’s thrusts are making Sid bounce back and forth. He can’t grab the corn!!
Sid: (smacking at Corey) Buzzzzz……Dude, quit it!!!!!
Corey: Is that hard enough for ya, Denise? Is that fast enough? Am I doing good?
Sid: Buzzzzzzz…..yeah, whatever, dude!! Just get off!!
Corey: I just did!!!
Sid: Buuuuuzzzzz….damn pre-mature ejaculation…You need to see doctor about that!!!
Later
Joey starts walking towards the tribal council, and his ass starts itching. Well, it’s one of those super itches that just scratching can’t get rid of, so he grabs a corn cob. He starts using that to scratch his ass, his eyes roll back in his head, and he doesn’t see Tony Hawk’s skateboard in front of him. He steps on it, and his feet go flying out from under him. He then appears to be doing a swan dive straight for the ground, and….
Joey: Gulp!!!!
The corn disappears up Joey’s ass.
Craig: (laughing) Dude!! You really are gonna be shitting corn for a month!!!
Everyone gathers around for the tribal council. Sid and Corey give their final plea as to why they should win the buried treasure.
Sid: Buzzzzzz….I feel I should win because I haven’t had any Ex-Lax for three days!!!!
Corey: I feel I should win, because I am the one who killed Head.
Everyone starts murmuring.
Corey: I was humping him, and I got carried away, and I guess I cut his throat open!!!
Okay, so we all vote, the votes are tallied, and we come to a conclusion.
Rain: Well, 32 votes for Sid…
Crow: And 32 votes for Corey…
Rain: So, the winner is…
Rain and Crow: US!!!!!!
Rain and Crow grab the buried treasure and run off with it.
Dude!!! I want some treasure, too!!!