We open to see Fred running away from Corey.


Corey: Come back, Denise! Come back!!!


Fred: Dude, get the fuck away from me, you freak!!!


Corey: I just want to screw you!!!


Fred: Not until you turn yourself into Christina Aguilera!!!


Corey: Dude, c’mere and let me try!!!


Fred: Okay.


Fred walks over to Corey. Corey begins making facial expressions like he’s straining real hard to do something.


Shawn: CHECK IT OUT!!! COREY’S ABOUT TO SHIT HIS GODDAMN PANTS!!!


Fred looks in Shawn’s direction, and Corey uses this distraction to leap in the air, landing on Fred’s face.


Fred: (muffled) Get the hell offa my face, mother fucker!!!


Shawn: COREY!!! COREY!!! GET YOUR GODDAMN ASS OFFA THAT SHIT FA…


Shawn stops, and thinks about this for a second.


Shawn: On the other hand, GET ‘IM, COREY!!! HUMP THAT LITTLE SHIT’S BRAINS OUT!!!


This is when Crow and Rain come over the hill, dragging along someone with a bag over his head.


Crow: Well, damn. Looks like Fred and Corey are busy. We’ll hafta come back later.


Rain: (looking at Shawn) Pervert. You enjoy watching things like this?


Shawn: Naw. Normally I watch kiddie porn...


Corey hops off of Fred face, and begins breathing hard.


Corey: (looking at Fred) Give me a minute, and I’ll be ready to go again….


Rain: Actually, we have something ELSE in store for Fred.


Rain rips the bag off of our mystery guests head, revealing Scott Stapp the Woolly Mammoth from the band Creed The Sleeping Pills.


Fred: Oh, no.


Scott Stapp: Oh, yes. I’ve come for you, lover.


Fred: Shut UP!!!


Scott: We don’t have to hide it anymore, honey. We’re on an island! No one will know! Besides, I can’t think of anywhere more romantic than a deserted island!!


Crow: We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.


Fred glares at Crow. Rain, Crow, Corey, and Shawn leave, but the hidden cameras stay there, so that we can see…


Fred: Oh, Scott!!


Scott: Oh, Fred!!!


Fred and Scott rush at each other, and rip off their clothes. Then, they begin rolling around in the dirt.


Scott: You know what I love about us? That our sex organs are fully compatible!!!


Fred: Tell me about it, handsome!!!


They continue on like this, until…


Scott: GET YOUR POT-BELLIED ASS OFFA ME!!!


Fred: No!!! I’m about to cum!!!


Fred begins moaning.


Fred: (makes retching noises) Shit!! I’m choking on your damn chest hairs!!!


Scott Stapp begins giggling. This is when Mick and Jim happen to stumble upon the two.


Jim: Check it out!!! Ten toes up, ten toes down, two hairy white asses rollin’ ‘round and ‘round……oh, shit!!!! They both have dicks!!!


Mick, who has now, thanks to Echo, taken a distinct dislike for gay love, goes over and clubs both Fred and Scott. He and Jim then decide to drag the two back to where the rest of the group is.


Sid: Buzzzzzzzzzzz…….isn’t it about time for us to vote again?


Crow: Sure. Whadda you think, Rain?


Rain: Sure.


This is the moment that Fred decides to wake up.


Fred: Oh, shit. I just fucked a guy. What have I done???


Crow: Oh, Scott? It’s time for you to go, anyway.


Crow positions Scott in front of Jim’s foot, or as it has become known, the Jim-a-pult, and Scott goes flying into the chigga and boll weevil infested waters.


Fred: Nooooo!!!! That was the best lover I’ve ever had!!!!


Fred goes running after Scott and dives into the water.


Rain: Hmmm. I guess he really DID do it all for the nookie.


Crow grabs his crotch and waves his arm.


Crow: He can keep “Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’” around in the bed with Stapp, now.


Wes: Hey, that isn’t funny!!! That’s my song, too!!!


Crow: Hey, wanna make a new band? Entitled, “I Want My Wes?”


Mick and Jim: What the fuck?


Rain: Ignore him. He just loves his Wes. Wes doesn’t know it yet, but Wes is gonna marry him. Oh, and you too, Mick!!!


Wes: But I’m married to Heather!!! Besides, I have already have another band called “Big Dumb Face”, idiot!!!


Note: Wes is not mean. He’s just sick of Crow grabbing on him. Oh, and Crow is not gay. Yeah, right.*


Crow: Okay, whatever…


Rain: Okay, back to voting.


Everyone: DAMMIT! I WAS GONNA VOTE OFF FRED!!!


Suddenly, it starts snowing.


Crow: (spanish accent) OH, CHIT MAN!!! IT FUCKING SNOWING, MAN!!!!


Corey, Sid, Chino, and Wes grab their torches and cover them up. Meanwhile, everybody else goes running for cover.


Sid: Buzzzzzzzz…shit!!!! Snow gonna kill me!!!! Buuzzzzz...Wings freeze!!!!!


Shawn: Dude, where’s our little shack thingie?


Jim: Dammit, I knew we forgot something.


Everyone starts running around in circles. Mick rips up a pop-up tree, and covers his and his puppy-kittens heads. Shawn makes Sid fly over his head to keep the snow off. Joey hides under a leaf. Jim and Paul quickly assemble a rock house. Corey and Chris decide to make themselves an igloo. Craig just sits there, chilling, ‘cause can't nothing touch him inside of his helmet. Rain decides to tough it out, and sits in a big pile of snow. Wes gets out his sleeping bag and curls up in it. Crow sees this, and dives in with him.


Wes: GET THE HELL OUT, YOU FREAK!!!


There is a great struggle in the sleeping bag. Finally, they come to a compromise, and Crow curls up at the bottom of the sleeping bag.


Munky and David: I vote Fieldy off the island!!!


Wes: Me too!!!


Crow and Rain: How ‘bout you, Slipknot?


Slipknot: Sure!!!


Crow: Fieldy, bring your torch and pack your bags. The tribal council has spoken, get your ugly ass off the fucking island!!!


Fieldy gets the big boot. Chino, Munky, and David decide that they'd do best by curling up together. Rain decides she’d better head on over and curl up in the rock house.


Jim: Dude, Paul, get your toe out of my eye!


Paul: Dude, you quit kicking me in the crotch!!!!


Rain: That was me!! Don’t need any more little Oinkberts running around!!!


Wes: (pissed off) You comfortable down there?


Crow: Yeah, you just need to wash your feet a little more often…


At The Bottom Of The Lake


Fred Durst and Scott Stapp find out that it is snowing. They decide to cuddle up together. Unfortunately for everyone else, this leads to another sex session. Oh, boy. Scott Stapp and Fred Durst screwing underwater. If that’s not a lovely mental image, I don’t know what is!!! Oh, unfortunately, this starts up Jon Davis whining again.


Jon: I want to join in too!!!!


Fieldy: And me too!!!


Scott and Fred: No!!!!


Jon: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!


Fieldy: Oh, really? D’VON!!! GET THE TABLE!!!!


Fred: Shut up!


Fieldy: I feel a Dudley Death Drop coming on!!!


And thus ends another episode of… Slipknot Survivor!!!!