One pollen-filled-allergy-screwing-up day, Joey decided to play a prank. He went to the Gap Store to get some gay ass clothes, and he took Corey with him. Corey was supposed to get some clothes for Chris' mom. Joey went and found a nice mini skirt and halter top, while Corey wandered over to the lingerie section. Suddenly, Corey stopped in front of a male mannequin that was wearing a crotch-less thong.
Corey: OH, MY GOD!!! IT'S DENISE RICHARDS!!!
Corey threw the mannequin to the floor, and it was "Hump-a-Thong 2000" on the mannequin's nose. Joey slipped the halter top and mini-skirt on under his coveralls, and walked out of the Gap (uhm, yeah, the first two letters are right...Gap is very Gary, only the "R" is silent), while Corey was "escorted" out by security. Joey and Corey then go into Old Navy. They look around for a while, and then come to one conclusion.
Joey and Corey: THIS PLACE BLOWS!!!
Joey and Corey then burn the damned Old Navy store to the ground, and walk down the street to Victoria's Secret. They look around, then walked out the door, and when they got outside, they heard...
Fireman Dave: Hey, Sarge! Aren't we supposed to be putting out the fire in the Old Navy store?
Firemarshall Bill: Naw, that place blew. Let it burn!!
Joey and Corey start back home.
Corey: So, what did you get?
Joey: I got a mini-skirt, a halter top, and some green edible undies. What did you get?
Corey: Well, first I got off. But I also snagged a pair of crotch-less thongs, some handcuffs, some see-through black negligee, and some red edible undies!
Joey: Dude, why'd you get women's stuff? I didn't know you swung that way!
Corey: You dumb ass!! This is stuff for Chris' mom!! He told me to get him some stuff to give her for her birthday!!!
Corey and Joey FINALLY get back home, Joey runs and steals one of Mick's puppy kittens and takes it into his barn. He then takes out the edible undies and puts them on the puppy-kitten. As he reaches for the mini-skirt, the puppy-kitten starts nibbling on the edible undies. Joey starts smacking at the puppy-kitten while he tried to put the mini-skirt on it. When he FINALLY got the skirt on the puppy-kitten, he began pulling the halter top over the puppy-kittens head, but it got stuck on the puppy-kittens snout! Joey had to fag-fight with it for like, five minutes before he finally got the halter top on! Then, he started doing the puppy-kittens make-up!! He began applying bright-whore-red lipstick to the puppy-kittens mouth. He then turns around to get the mascara. When he turns back around...
Joey: Where'd the lipstick go?
Puppy-Kitten: Gulp!
Joey then began applying blue-green mascara to the puppy-kitten in a way that was much so resembling of Mimi Bobeck from "The Drew Carey Show". (thank you much, I have really, really clear picture of Mimi in my head now. I just finished bashing it with my fist and telling it, "Get the fuck out of my head. Get the fuck out of my head! Don't make me come in there and get you!") When Joey finally finished doing the puppy-kittens make-up he ran over to Chris' farm.
Joey: Dude, Chris! C'mere!!!
Joey then dragged Chris back to the barn, and said...
Joey: Dude! that chick over there is hot! She fucking wants you!!
Chris then started doing one of those cartoon things, where the eyes pop out of the head, the tongue hits the floor (except in Chris' case it was his nose), they hop up in the air and go, "AAAAAOOOOOOOGGGAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!", and then they act like the wolf in the Droopy cartoons.
Chris: Dude! I'm gonna fucking score!!!
Chris then hurdles over to the decked out puppy-kitten, and says.
Chris: Hey, baby. How YOU doin'?
Chris then throws the puppy-kitten to the ground and starts banging away at the puppy-kittens behind. Mick happens to choose THIS exact moment to walk in the barn.
Mick: Grrrr....need....rake....GROWL!! NO HUMP PUPPY-KITTEN!!!!
Mick runs across the room and clubs Chris in the head.
Chris: Everything is getting fuzzy....
Chris passes out....
When Chris Finally Comes To...
Chris wakes up in a bathtub with stinky, smelly freezer ice and the puppy-kitten going "snort snort" and snotting on him. The puppy-kitten starts nuzzling up beside Chris, and rubbing on his pecker with it's fin.
Chris: Get away from me!!!!! Mick might club me again!!!!!!!!!
Chris then tries to runs away, but can't get up because Sid has flown around and tied him into the bathtub.
Chris: Dude!!!! Let me outta here!!! I'm not into all that puppy-kitten bondage love stuff!!!!
Puppy-kitten: EAT MY DRAWERS!
The puppy-kitten then begins flopping itself around on top of Chris' erected penis...(achem, the reason being that he is "not politically correct, he's permanently erect"!)
9 Months Later
Mick is sitting in his favorite chair, when one of his puppy-kittens waddles up to him, wearing a moo-moo.
Puppy-Kitten: Ugh, urr, ugh, ugh!
Mick: Puppy-kitten....grrrrr...pregnant? GROWLLLLLL!!!!
Mick hops up, slightly clubs the puppy-kitten, and stalks off to find Chris. When he is finally able to find Chris, he clubs the hell out of him.
Poor Chris! I Think This Is Giving Me A Headache Too!!!