Here is a list of all the
things we KNOW that Corey has
mistaken for Denise Richards:
1. Drag Queen - Remember? Him met at "Bessie's Booty"? Got molested in the men's room?
2. Polar Bear - This happened in Eskimoland when Mick went in search of puppy-kittens.
3. Puppy-Kitten - This also happened in Eskimoland. Pup.-Kit. was in Mick's hand. Mick made go smat.
4. 12-year-old Amish Girl - This happened in Amish country. Sadly, she didn't end up going back with 'Knot.
5. Mick's leg - This was an odd one. Corey saw Mick's leg, thought it was Denise Richards, and humped Mick's leg. Mick clubbed Corey, but it just made Corey hump harder (he just thought she liked it rough).
6. Grandma - This happened when 'Knot rode the Trak-Tour to the Big City.
7. Fart-Some Daily (Carson Daly) - This happened on TRL (Thirty-some Raunchy Losers). That was lovely.
8. Sid's Lightsocket - Yeah, Corey got rope, tied himself to the ceiling and tried to do some auto-eroticism with the lightsocket...
9. Rayna Foss-Rose & Morgan Rose - That was lovely. You try fitting Corey's thing between somebody's toes. It's not easy!
10. That Black Guy singer from Sevendust - Yeah, another hard thing to do. Fit Corey's thing into bull-nose ring. Ouch. Wasn't pretty. It ended up ripping out, and there was blood everywhere!!!
11. Coal Chamber - This happened when the Chamber visited the 'Knot. Oh, Meegs didn't get fucked. He ran for the sake of his asshole!
12. Fred Durst - Yeah, they met up, yadda yadda "Oh, god, it's Denise Richards!" Shawn tried to stop, thought about it, and said, "Yeah, fuck that ho's brains out!!!"
13. Queen of England - Yeah, the "Give Us Your Puppy-Kittens" tour went to England and they met the queen...Sid got knighted...Queenie got raped...
14. Bessie - Oh, boy. Talk about "milking the cow"...
15. Parking Meter - This also happened during trip to Big City. No one knew what it was or why it ate quarters...
16. Sid - This happened during the "Survivor" thing. You know. Slipknot and Limp Bizkit stranded on an island. Sid got butt-raped.
17. Paper Shredder - No one knew what that was either!! Or why it ate paper and puked it back up!! Luckily it was turned off when Corey saw a little Denise Richards in it...
18. "Fistina" - Yeah, uhm, I'm just gonna leave that one alone...(yeah, he used "scissors" to put "tattered & torn" pic on hand, how many times did he have cum "surfacing"? "only one"! it was "sic"! then he had to "wait and bleed". he "diluted" the cum in some wine, put it in his "big mouth", counted to "742617000027", then he "spit it out", realized his dick was "eyeless" and it was "me inside", thought he'd "liberate" with "prosthetics", and now has "no life")
19. Wes Borland - I knew we shoulda kept Wes' sexy self away from 'Knot...he's traumatized for life...won't even sleep with me anymore...
20. Shawn's Drums - This was during a concert. Corey was in the middle of singing "Scissors" when he saw Denise Richards in Shawn's drums, threw down mike, ran over and began humping Shawn's drums!!! Shawn beat him repeatedly in the head with drumsticks, yelling "Get away from my crap! You can't throw it! It is for me to throw!"
21. VCR - It happened to be playing one of Denise Richards' movies. 'Nuff said.
22. Duck - Yeah, he went outside on his farm, looked saw duck, and, well, fuck-a-duck.
23. ATM Machine - The 'Knot was curious as to why come the thing kept spitting out money to people, then Corey saw reflection of his Denise Richards shirt, and well, in the end paramedics had to come remove Corey's shaft from the machine...ouch...it got stuck in small hole!!!
24. Toy Train - The 'Knot went to Toys 'R' Us looking for sex toys, and Corey saw train go 'round and 'round, thought he saw Denise Richards driving the train, hopped on, and began humping the toy train while it was still moving!!!
25. "Babe the Pig" Stuffed Animal - This also happened at Toys 'R' Us. Corey saw Denise Richards on the shelf. He begans moaning and humping this stuffed pig, and cum shot all over the aisle!!! Security got after "Satan", but tripped up and got stuck in the cum!!! One guys eye still won't open where some of it ended up glueing his eyelids together!!
26. Cornstalk - This happened back on the farm. Corey went out to his big ass garden, saw cornstalk...yadda yadda yadda, you get the idea. Fornication with a corn stalk, lovely.
27. Jay Gordon aka Nina - Yeah, this happened when Jay met Joey. That was a lovely time. Ryan's drunk ass stumbled upon them and joined in. Note: for more on Jay, Ryan, and Orgy, go to: www.orgy-gasm.com (yeah, right)
28. Mud Hole - Yeah, this was on farm. Corey saw reflection of Denise Richards shirt in mud hole. 'Nuff said.
29. CD - Corey came across soundtrack for Denise Richards movie. Oh, personal note, he broke the cd trying to shove big, round cock through little bitty hole.
30. Keyhole - Yeah, Corey saw door with Denise Richards poster on it. Fornication with a keyhole. Lovely. He was banging on the door all night long...
31. Mirror - He saw reflection of DR shirt in mirror, thought it was her, ripped pants off, thought, "Oh, God, it's another chick with a dick!!" and ran away.
32. Priest - Corey went in to confess all the things he'd been humping, thought the priest in the confessional was Denise Richards, ripped off the metal thing that separates the two stalls, and humped the priest's ear!!!
33. Two Nuns - Yeah, on his way back out of the church, Corey came across two nuns who he thought was Denise Richards, he grabbed one, tossed to ground, humped her while the other screamed out, "LET JESUS FUCK YOU!!! LET JESUS FUCK YOU!!!", then Corey switched.
34. Craig - Craig had just hopped out of the shower, and that shower mist/fog stuff was still in there, and Corey saw Craig, thought was Denise Richards, and began humping Craig's armpit!!! (that's about the only place on Craig that ISN'T spiky)
35. Mannequin - Chris got sick, and so he sent Corey shopping for some extremely gay clothes for his mom, so Corey went to Gap. He saw one of those male mannequins, thought it was Denise Richards, threw it to the floor, and began humping it's nose!!!
36. Amir Derakh - 'Mir and Corey decided to drink some spiked Green Tea. They got drunk, one thing led to another, 'Mir was alone, Corey had a bone, so Corey humped 'Mir's hand!!!
37. Beer Can Holder - Yeah, Corey's "Denise Richards Beer Can Holder" finally arrived in the mail, and so it grabbed it, ripped out the bottom, and began humping it, right in the middle of the Post Office!!!!
38. Oven - Yeah, the dial thing on the oven fell off, Corey thought he heard Denise Richards voice say, "Screw me now!!!", so he went and humped the hole the dial had been in.
39. Paramedic Guy's Chin - He kept opening his mouth.... BAAAAAAD mistake.
40. Face Made Of Froot Loops - He made a smiley face with an open mouth on the floor with Froot Loops... Um... The milk is sour. Yeah.
41. Granny Ethel Mae - Hey! He was being nice! He was trying to bring her back to life!
42. Granny Cart - Corey made another mistake...
43. Box of Ex-Lax - Yeah, uhm, Sid got him some of that new "vanilla cream" flavor...
44. Paul's Ankle - This happened when they were on the cooking show... umm... nice wet sock.
45. The Goose - Also happened on the cooking show. Anybody want a bite?
46. Mills Lane: He said "Let's get it on!!!" and Corey took it the wrong way...
47. Mick and his bearfriend: Yeah, they were fornicating, and Corey though it was Denise... again. Joey filmed this for us. Uh-huh.
48.Joey's Leg: This happened when they performed on the Richard and Rudy Show.
49. Billie Ho Armstrong's Bootjack: Yeah, um, really nasty. And for those of you that don't know, "bootjack" is a redneck word for ass.
50. Pop-Up Tree: Don't you just love pop-up trees? I know I do!! Anyway, Corey humped it, and it fell over and killed John Otto from Limp Bizkit.
51. Head from KoRn: Yeah, it happened in the Slipknot Survivor. It killed Head... Corey thought he should win 'cause of it!!
52. Bill Clinton's Leg: This happened when 'Knot went to D.C. Big Willie thought is was that damn Buddy that was humping him.
53. The Flames In Hell: Corey thought Denise was into burning...
54. Hootchie The Giant Purple Cow AKA Satan: Hootchie banned Corey from Hell!!
55. Chris' Sheep, Janine: Hey, it got them on the Jerry Springer show!!
56. ANOTHER Priest: The bastard popped through the doors when they were on Jerry. Corey humped his little white collar hootchie. The Priest finally scored!!
57. Some Lady Wearing A Denise Richards Mask: Jerry thought Corey was a burn victim... Jerry brought out "Denise"... Jerry Spanked Corey for humping her. Corey thought it was Denise spanking him.
58. Toilet Seat: Craig plopped down on the seat, him broke Corey's dick!!! Mean!!
59. Lamp In The Hotel: Well, he tried to hump it. His dick was still broken though. Chris humped it for him. Corey beat his ass for that!
60. Mr. T: Yeah, Corey humped him too! "I pity the fool that try to hump T!!"
61. That Room Full Of Denise Richards Stuff: This happened in Heaven. He humped every goddamn thing in there.
62. Bobo The Monkey AKA God's Leg: Corey humped Bobo too! Wonder what kind of shit he caught from that..
63. Slushie Machine: Those cute lovers, Jay Leno and David Letterman got them some Vanilla flavored slushies!! What's that? You want one too? Bob Villa will give you one!
64. Squirrel Man AKA Bob Villa: He humped him 'til he passed out. Goddamn Squirell Man... what the fuck were we doing when we can up with that, Echo?
65. Head's Leg: This happened when Corey was The Incredible Humper... Corey's head humped Head.
66. Shawn's Arm: Shawn's drunk ass was passed out, and we started a contest type thing... Corey won.
67. Some Sewage: I don't think I need to go into that one...
68. A Fish: This happened when they went fishing and hunting... He thought it was Denise Richards... Think it bit him or anything?
69. Linda Jebus: The lady from TLC that came about Shawn's Shauna Crayon's baby. Is Corey fucking blind or something? Anyway, he humped the back of her head...
70. Ketchup Bottle: They were in the pancake house before Shauna had the baby... Ummm... wonder if anyone used the ketchup...
71. Busty's cleavege: The waitress from the baby story. Gawddamn that was one fugly bitch... Busty has syrup all over her tits... Corey was really sticky afterwards... when he was trying to wash it off... the washcloth stuck to him... and pulled his nuts off... owie...
72. Marilyn Manson: He lived in the nuthouse that Slipknot was thrown in. Corey humped Manson't back while he was sucking himself off... Um.. yeah... lovely...
73. Shawn's Head: It really wasn't a Denise Richards thing. They were gonna play a game called "Fuck Sidney Jack-Daniels WIlson", and Sid escaped. Corey was still horny...
74. The Leeches: Has anyone other than Corey, tried this? Wouldn't it be so much fun pulling them off...
75. Pool Filter: Again, not another Denise Richards thing. Just a pervert thing. You know... the other day, I saw something on tv, where this dude had his genitals caught in a pool filter.... he had been stuck for about 3 hours before he called 911. That was funny as fuck.