This ones starts out with Shawn and Sid sitting in the basement to the camper. Aw, hell. You know this can't be good. So there they are... sitting on 5 gallon buckets... well, Shawn is. Sid is nerviously buzzing around the ceiling.
Sid: Buzzzzxxx.... oh no.... BUZZZ!!! OH OF NO!!!
Shawn: What the hell are you buzzing about?!
Sid: Buzzzx... zuuuubbb!!! Something of bad is to happen!! I know of it is!!!! BUZZZX!!!
Shawn: Shut up, goddammit!!! I know... I'll be back in a few damn minutes...
Shawn ties Sid's string to the bucket.
Shawn: Don't go anywhere.
Sid: GRRRRBUZZER!! CANNOT!!! YOU GODDAMN WHORE CLOWN BITCH!!!
Shawn raises his hand to Sid.
Shawn: SHUT UP.
Sid cowers behind the bucket.
Shawn: That's better, goddammit.
Shawn tried to climb up the rope leading to the kitchen, but he's a bit under the weather and can't do it. It seems that someone broke the stairs... so they knocked a fucking hole in the kitchen floor, tied a rope to the fridge, and dropped it down the hole.
Shawn: DAMMIT!!! DAMN SHIT!!!
Shawn tries to go up the rope again, and suceeds this time.
Sid: BUZZZXX!!! DATTIE!!! SHAWN!!!! NO!!!! NO LEAVE OF ME DOWN HERE WITH HIM!!!!! NO!!!! HELP!!!
Shawn ignores Sid's cries for help, and plunders through the cabinets.
Sid: BUZZXXS!!! HELP OF ME!! GODDAMN YOU CLOWN!!
Sid hears breathing in the corner of the basement.
Sid: (to himself) Buzzzx... oh no... hims coming for me! What to do?! (screaming) ZUBBBB!!! HE'S GONNA EAT ME!!!!!
Evil cackling comes from the corner. Sid scurries under the bucket.
In the kitchen
Shawn: Where the goddamn hell are you... you bitch... I know you be hoding from me... goddammit...
Shawn then looks in the trash can.
Shawn: There you are, you mother fucker!!
Shawn pulls out a can of yams.
Shawn: CANNED GODDAMN YAMS!! HELL YEAH!!!
Sid hasn't heard this. Good for him.
Shawn: Joey! Boy!! C'mere!!!
Joey wonders into the kitchen.
Joey: (refusing to look at Shawn) Wh-wh-wh.. what do you want... dattie?
Shawn: BOY!!!!
Joey winces.
Joey: Wh-wh... huh?
Shawn: Open my goddamn can, boy!!
Joey: But---
Shawn: OPEN. MY. CAN.
Shawn grabs Joey by the hair and underwear, and cranks up chainsaw Joey.
Joey: VRRRRRRRRR!!!! VRRRRRNN!!!! NRRRRRR!!!!!
Shawn: That's it...
Shawn then uses chainsaw Joey to open the already open can of yams. Damn.
Joey: My teeth!!! My teeth!! They're ruined!! Leave me alone, you bastard!!
Joey runs out of the room crying.
Shawn: Wonder what the fuck his problem is... goddamn kids...
Shawn stumbles and falls through the hole in the floor. He lands short of the bucket. Dammit.
Shawn: SIDNEY JACK-DANIELS!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Bucket: Buzzzzzzz... he is of gone!!! Gone far!!
Shawn: Goddammit Sidney!! Get out of there!!
Shawn kicks the bucket over and Sid flies out and buzzes around the lightbulb.
Sid: Buzzzz!! He gone!! He gone!! Leave alone!!!
Shawn: (sexy voice) C'mere Sidney... I got me some goddamn yams.
Sid: BUZZZXXXXXSSSXXEERRR!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shawn: Yes, goddammit!
Shawn grabs his string and begins playing a little sex game with Sid.
Shawn: (sexy voice) C'mere Sidney.
Sid: Buzzzz!! NO!!!
Shawn: Okay.
Shawn pulls on Sid's string, bringing him in a few inches. Sid is flying in the opposite direction of Shawn, trying his best to get away from him.
Shawn: Sidney, please come here.
Sid: Buzzzz... NO!!! NO, BUZZZZDAMMIT!!!
Shawn pulls him in a few more inches. This continues until there is no more string.
Sid: (crying) Buzzz... nooooo-o-o-o-ooooo....
Shawn whispers something in Sid's ear.
Sid: Buzzzzzzx.... NOOOO!!!! NOT THAT!!!
Shawn: Yes, that, GODDAMMIT!!!! Right now, Sidney!!!
Sid flies out of the basement. A few minutes later he comes back in wearing a cheerleading outfit.
Sid: Buuzzzz.... buzzzz... sniff sniff... buzzzz... xx....
Shawn: Sing it, GODDAMMIT!!
Sid cries a lot harder.
Sid: Buzzz..... whyyyyyyyyy.....
Shawn: 'Cause I fucking said so!
Stubby flogs Sid a couple of times.
Sid: Buzzz..... no more! No more!
Shawn: Sing it then!!
Sid: Buzzzx.... sniff sniff.... Shawn is great....
Shawn: (clown mask blushing) Yeah, yeah... Sid: Buzz... Him is my mate.... c'mon now.... let's masturbate....
Shawn: Awwwww, Sidney!! Sure we can!!
Sid's eyes bug out of his head.
Sid: BUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL FUCKING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shawn gets all horny as he tries to get his jumpsuit off. He's really drunk by now, and he can't quite do it. Sid's having a lucky day!
Sid: Buzzzz!! Act of now!!
Sid panicks and begins bumping into the window trying to get away from Shawn.
Sid: Buzz! Open, you bitch!! OPEN!!! BUZZZZZ!!!!
Sid zooms to the other side of the room and zooms back to the window.
Sid: Buzzzzs!!! Help!! Help!! HELP!!!
Sid looks behind him to see Shawn stil struggling with his jumpsuit, and the thing that tried to get him earlier.
Sid: Buzzzxxx... Oh no!! Is going to get of clown!!! Wait... no...... buzzz... be niceeeeee.... try and make... enemies... I think... that's.... buzzzzz.... what mum saaaid before clown stole of me....
Sid thinks about this for a few seconds.
Sid: BUZZZZX!!! IS OF RIGHT!!!!
Sid spins around.
Sid: Buzzzzxery.... ANDERSSSS!!!! OF HELP!!!!
Anders hisses at Sid.
Sid: Buzzzxx!! No!!! I no be of mean!!! Open of window and we both be of free!!!!
Anders, who is naked, runs over to the window.
Sid: Buzzzxxx... why of you naked?
Anders: I MAKE JEWELRY!!!
Anders points to his underwear, which are around his neck.
Sid: Buzzzz.... YOU SHOULD TRY AND TO SELL OF SOME WHAT OF THEM!!!
Anders: WHAT?!
Sid: Buzzzx... nothing... JUST OPEN OF WINDOW!!!
Shawn: ANDERS!! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN YOUR CAGE, BOY!!! NOW!!!
Anders punches the window. The glass shatters along with his fist.
Sid: Buzzzz!!!! SCREEN!!! SCREEN!!! SCREEN!!!! GET SCREEN OUT OF WAY!!!
Sid looks back to see Shawn, who has gotten one leg out of his jumpsuit.
Sid: Buzzzz!!!!! HURRY!!!!!!!!
Anders claws the screen out, and shoots through the broken window. Sid follows.
Shawn: GODDAMMIT!!!!! NO!!!!
Shawn climbs the rope with-in two seconds, and runs into the living room where the rest of Knot is.
Shawn: THE ALARMS!!! THE ALARMS!!! BLARE THE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!
Chris: We don't have any fucking alarms, bud.
Corey: (whacking off while watching a Pro-Active commercial) Why? What's wrong?
Shawn: Anders!! He's, uh... escaped!!!
Jim: It's about damn time. You shouldn't keep him locked up like that, man.
Shawn: Shut up!! I do it 'cause I want too!!
Jim: Fuck you.
Shawn: Where's Mick?
Joey: (rocking in the corner) Umm....
Shawn: Oh. Gross... SHIT! I GOTTA CATCH ANDERS!!!
Shawn grabs Craig's butterfly net and runs outside.
Meanwhile Sid has ran into Rain.
Sid: BUZZZZX!!!! HIDE ME!! HIDE OF MEEEEEEEE!!!!
Rain: Okay, okay... then you answer my question!
Sid: Buzzzz!! 'kay!!!
Rain: Ummm... go back into the basement since the clown's out here looking for you.
Sid: Buzzzzhuh....
Sid buzzes back through the window right as Shawn runs up to Rain.
Shawn: Have you seen a naked, bleeding dude run by?
Rain raises her eyebrow.
Rain: Moo? Bleeding from where?
Shawn: Goddammit! Not his goddamn ass! He went through a broken window!
Rain: Uh-huh. Yeah, I did see that. I saw a naked bleeding sand nigga run through our cornfield!
Shawn: Huh? Really?
Rain: Yeah! Slutty bitch that used to live across the field from where I live! Husband caught her with sand nigga and chased him out of the house naked! Him ran behind with shot-gun! It was fuckin' hilarious!
Shawn: Yeah, I'm sure! But I meant today...
Rain: Oh, yeah! He stole the Trak-Tour.
Shawn: What?!
Rain: Yeah! See?
Rain points to where the Trak-Tour was.
Shawn: GODDAMMIT!!! That boy gonna kill somebody!!
Rain: Ooooo!! Fun!
Shawn pulls out his Stubby Mobile and hops in.
Shawn: Oh, and was my Sidney Jack-Daniels with him?
Rain: Yeah, he was.
Shawn: Goddammit.
Rain: Now remember! Drink hard and drive fast!
Shawn: Hell yeah.
Shawn swerves away in his Stubby Mobile taking down several trees in his path.
Rain: Yay... And dude? He's gone.
Sid: Buzzzzxx!!! YAY OF YAY!!
Rain: Okay, now you answer my question.
Sid: Buzzzz?
Rain: Echo. Where's Echo? Have you seen Echo?
Sid: Buzzzzyep.
Rain: Great. Where?
Sid: Buzzzzx! Mick! Him wiff Mick!
Rain: Oh, joy. Doing whaaaaat?
Sid: Buzzzzxxxx!!!!! Holding on while of fucking!!!
Rain: Echo the cheating faerie. FUN! Where?
Sid: Buzzzzxxvvxxx.... In bathroom!
Rain: Huh?
Sid: Buzzzxx! Come!!
Sid drags Rain to the bathroom.
Sid: Buzzz.. there... in there...
Rain: Thank you, spank you, fuck you and shoo.
Sid: Buzzzxxx.... secret!!!
Rain: Vaaah?
Sid: Buzzzeerrr! Shawn has bottle of water hidden in back of toilet!!!
Rain: No fuckin' way!! WATER?! Damn!
Sid: Buzzzzzzzxxx... and... WAIT!! BUZZZZZ!!! Sarcastic bitch... buzzzgrrr...
Rain: Shoo.
Sid: Buzzzzvx!!! Fuck of you!!
Rain: Fuck off.
Sid: Zubb.. YOU!
Rain: GODDAMMIT!! Open the goddamn door before I pluck your ass!!
Sid: BUZZZZZXX!!!! MY ASS?!
Rain: Wings, dude. Wings. Open door.
Sid gently knocks on the door.
Mick: Grrrrr? What of want?
Sid: Buzzzxx! What of doing!!
Mick: GRRRR!!! Take of shit!
Echo: NO YOU'RE NOT!!! NOT WITH ME HOOKED ONTO YOUR ASS!!
Mick: GRRRR!!! SHUT UP!!!!
Loud thumping noises are heard.
Rain: What's that?
Mick: Grrrr!! Echo faerie head on bathtub!!
Rain laughs at the Echo thumping.
Rain: Yay!
Female Bear: Grrrr? Tell him to get out, sweetie!
Mick: Grrrr... can't!! Will no of leave!!
Echo: MICK'S MY BITCH!!! NOT YOUR'S!! YOU GET OUT!!!
Female Bear: GRRRR!! GODDAMMIT!! YOU GET OUT!!!
The window in the bathroom shatters.
Rain: That was Echo, right?
Female Bear: Grrrrrrrr... was of!!
Rain: Yeah... fun for him. I'll check on him later... give him some time to wake up.
Rain walks into the living room. Damn that's a big fucking camper.
Paul: SNOOOORT! Him catch Anders?
Rain: Not yet. He stole the Trak-Tour.
Corey: DAMMIT!!! ALL MY DAMN GOOD PORNO MUSIC WAS IN THERE!! FUCK!
Rain: Congratulations!
Corey: Huh?
Rain: On money well lost!
Corey: Dammit.
Joey wheels over to Rain on his Big Wheel.
Joey: I got new teethies!!
Rain: Great. Lemme see.
Joey smiles showing vampire fangs.
Joey: Dattie fucked my teeth up, and I don't have the money to get actual teeth... so I had to use Sid's fangs that he had for Halloween a few years ago....
Rain: They look wonderful.
Joey: Re-really?
Rain: Yeah, sure.
Joey: YAY!
Joey wheels into the hall.
Rain: Anyone else notice that he's missing part of his right fang?
Chris: Yeah. Mr. T got to 'em...
A loud yelping is heard in the hall and Joey runs back into the living room, crying.
Joey: OH NO!!!! I RAN OVER MISTER T ON MY BIG WHEEL!! DATTIE'S GONNA KILL ME!!!
Jim: Just put him in a Snapple jar and he won't give a fuck.
Joey: Yeah!!!
Joey digs under the couch and finds a semi-empty Snapple bottle.
Joey: Bitch.
Joey dumps the slimely contents onto the floor, and runs back into the hall. Sid buzzes out of the hall.
Sid: Buzzzzz...xxx....xx... Joey ran over what be Mister of T!!!
Paul: Snort... yeah...
Sid: Buzzz! But! But! It not hurt of he! He jump back of up and Joey... buzzzx... is of chasing him!!! Try to put in jar!!! Buzzzx!!!
Sid looks down at the floor.
Sid: BUZZZZZXXXS!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!! IS OF SHAWN CLOWN'S BOOTY JUICE!!! HE WILL KILL OF ME NOW!!! BUZZZZZACK!!!
Sid stops and thinks for a moment.
Sid: Buzzzz.. godddddddbuzzzzzit!! He can make of... more...
Suddenly, a loud crashing noise is heard.
Sid: BUZZZZZXXXXV!!!! OH FUCK SHIT!! SHAWN CLOWN DATTIE IS OF BE BACK!!!
Sid opens the door to the tv and hides inside.
Corey: YOU ASS!!! I WAS ABOUT TO COME TO THE GODDAMN PRO-ACTIVE COMMERCIAL, AND NOW ALL I SEE IS YOUR ASS!!!!
Shawn stumbles in and falls face first into the booty juice.
Shawn: GODDAMMIT!! I AIN'T FOUND ANDERS YET, GODDAMMIT!!
Jim: Good.
Shawn: What the hell you mean, "good"?! HE GONNA EAT SOMEBODY!!
Jim: And?
Shawn: Oh.
Buzzing Tv: Buzzzzx!!! Joey ran over what be Mister T!!!
Shawn: WHAT?! I'LL KILL HIS ASS!!! (mumbles) Goddamn tv sounds like my bitch...
Shawn rolls into the hall after Joey.
Shawn: BOY!!! WHERE MY GUARD DOG?!
Joey: He-he's fine, dattie!! Really!!
Shawn: OH?! LET ME SEE HIS ASS!!!
Joey cautiously hands Shawn the Snapple bottle.
Joey: He... I... He... Well...
Shawn: EXPLAIN IT, BOY!!
Joey: He... I.... I ran... over him on my... Big Wheel... and.... I, uh... he... wasn't smushed... and was... running from me... (starts crying) SO I RAN OVER HIM AGAIN AND SMUSHED THE FUCK OUTTA HIM TIL HE WASN'T MOVING NO MORE!!!!
Joey falls to the floor in a fetal position.
Shawn: BOY!!!!!
Joey shivers.
Joey: Wh... wh... what...?
Shawn: Get your goddamn ass up. You ain't got to be no damn Aaron Lewis!!
Joey get up.
Joey: That's... bad...
Shawn: Boy, now... I ain't gone punish you this time... cause you were trying to do the bad thing... and in a way you did, and I'm too goddamn drunk to beat your ass...
Shawn wipes the drool off of his clown mouth.
Shawn: Yeah...
Joey: Huh?
Shawn: GET THE HELL OUTTA MY SIGHT!!
Joey scatters through the air condition vent. Which is wonderful considering they donnot have an air conditioner...
Shawn: Sidney! I wanna tell your ass something!!
Sid steps out of the tv.
Sid: Buzzx...?
Shawn rolls into the living room.
Shawn: SIDNEEEEEY!!!! I gots to tell you something important!!
Sid: BUZZZZAAAAAAHHH!!!
Shawn stops just short of rolling over Sid.
Sid: Buzzzzwhhhaaaaaat...
Shawn: I done put an ad in the goddamn paper, boy!!
Sid: Buzzz... want... of more Snapple bottles... again?
Shawn: Yeah, that too... but I put another one in there!!! Look!!
Shawn pulls out the local newspaper, Cornfields Across America, and points and the classifieds.
Shawn: We gone play a game, Sidney.
Sid starts sweating.
Sid: BUZZZZZNOOOOO!!!! NO MORE SEX GAMES!!! NO!!!!
Shawn: No, not that. We're gonna play "find my ad".
Sid: Buzzzz... oh... yay...
Sid begins thumbing through the newpaper.
Sid: Buzzzzx... hint! Give of me hint!!
Shawn: Pets and Farm Animals.
Paul: SNORT!!!! I LOVE ME SOME FARM ANIMALS!!!
Chris: Me too! I loves sheep!! And baby goats!
Sid finds the Animals section.
Sid: BUZZZZZZZXXERRR!!! BLOODY FUCKING WHORE!!!! DAMN CLOWN BITCH!!!
Shawn: I thought it'd be... good for you...
Sid: Buzzzxxerss... ASSHOLE!!! YOU NO LOVE OF ME!!!
Shawn: Oh, but I do, Sidney... I think.. I do... I love you when I'm drunk!!
Craig snatches the newspaper from the stunned Sid's hands.
Craig: MURRRRVVVVBEERRAAH!!
Rain: What the fuck was that?
Corey: Oh, he ate some baby birds this morning, and I think they're trying to escape now, or some shit...
Chirping is heard coming from Craig's stomach.
Rain: That's wonderful.
Craig burps up a baby bird.
Bird: Tweet!!
Craig snatches it up and pops it back in his mouth.
Craig: Dammit.
Craig read the ad in Cornfields Across America and laughs.
Sid: BUZZZXXX!!! IS OF NOT BE FUNNY!!! ASSHOLE!!!
Joey burries up through the air vent, and hops out.
Joey: What's it say? WHAT'S IT SAY?!
Craig hands Joey the paper.
Joey: (reading outloud) "FREE EXOTIC AND EROTIC FLY TO GOOD HOME"...
Everyone laughs at what Shawn has done to Sid.
Sid: (in a normal voice, without any hint of fly) IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY, YOU BASTARDS.
Rain: He can talk straight! Fun!
Sid: Buzzzzxxxx... no of can't!!
Rain: Yep. I know... well, Echo's had time to wake up... better go check on him.
Rain walks outside and finds Echo.
Rain: Dude, wake up.
Echo: Uhhhhhnn....
Rain: Yeah, yeah. I got something fun for you to do!!
Echo: Uhhhnnn?
Rain: Uhhhn, uhhgg, BLAH! Yeah. Stop.
Echo: Uh-huh.... whaaat?
Rain: Fun!
Rain hands Echo a cell phone.
Rain: Call yer dattie!
Echo: DATTIE!!!!!
Rain: Yeah!
Echo jerks the phone to his ear.
Echo: DATTIE!!!!
Rain: Call him first, dude.
Echo: Oh yeah...
Echo dials a number.
Echo: Where'd my bitch go, anyway?!
Rain: He's cheating on you. Pay attention to the phone.
Echo: Oh. MEAN!!!!
Rain: Switch, dude.
Crow: Yeah...
Craig answers.
Crow: Dattie!
Craig: (silence)
Crow: Dattie?
Craig: (silence)
All Crow can hear is breathing.
Crow: I can hear you, dattie!!
Craig: (long pause) No, you can't!!
Crow: Yes I can!!!!
Craig: (another long pause) N--
Craig thought about saying no then changed his mind.
Crow: Dattie?! Dattie?!!? Come back to me dattie!!
Crow hears snoring on the other end.
Craig: Zzzzzzzz....
Crow: I HEAR YOU!!!!!
Craig: (confused from being woke up) Huh? Who's there?
Crow: (silence and pouting)
Craig: (breathing heavily) So... what are you wearing...
Crow: (like a girl) What you think I'm wearing, sweetie?
Craig turns into Spiky Horndog and runs to the bathroom.
Craig: (silence)
Crow: Well?
Craig: Mmmm... a christmas bow and a lumberjack beard?
Crow: How'd you know, honey?
Craig: Oooo....
Crow hears a popping sound.
Crow: What's that, honey?
Craig: That's... umm... shampoo.
Crow: Oooo... so, how would you like me?
Craig: Now I want you naked.
Crow: Anything you want.
Craig: Damn...
Crow: I took the christmas bow and the lumberjack beard off, hot thang.
Craig: (whacking off very hard) Well.. uh.. how big are your tits?
Crow: Well, they're... (normal voice) I WUV YOU DATTIE!!!!!
Craig: OH FUCKING SHIT!!!!
When, Crow did this, Craig didn't expect it, so he squeezed the hell outta himself. Which caused him to scream and everyone ran into the bathroom.
Corey: That's what you get for using fucking shampoo!!
Corey pulls two bottles out.
Corey: You use salt and vinegar!!
Paul: Snort, dude, that shit is for pussies. And potatoe chips.
Paul pulls out some sandpaper and some rubbing alcohol.
Paul: This is what REAL men use.
Jim: No, dude. Real men can do it dry. No lubes.
Corey: Dude, you're fucking sick, dude.
Meanwhile, Crow and Rain are outside laughing from Craig's accident, and the fact that he hasn't hung up the phone, so they're hearing this shit.
Shawn: Well, it's 9am. I'm going to sleep. Fuck you guys and good morning...
Shawn walks into the kitchen, strips naked, and jumps up on the goddamn kitchen table.
Shawn: Aaaaaahhhh.... sweet, sweet goddamn kitchen table... never fail me... SIIIIIDDDDDNEEEEY!!! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, BOY!!!
Sid: BUZZZ!!! AH!!! NO!!!!
Sid knocks Craig off of the toilet, and jumps in.
Sid: BUUXXXXXZ!!Flush me!! Flush me!!!!
Mick walks over to the toilet.
Mick: GRRRRRBOOM!!
Sid: Buuzzzhuh?
Mick attempts to flush Sid. Sid doesn't flush though, he just spins in circles.
Sid: BUUZZZXXX NO!!!! WILL NO OF BUZZING WORK!!
Sid tried crawling down the potty hole. Shawn stumbles in.
Shawn: HELL NAW, BOY!!!
Sid: BUXXXZZZXZXZS!!! NOOOOO!!!!
Shawn picks up the plunger and sucks Sid out of the toilet.
Shawn: Ha.
Shawn holds the plunger up in the air, with Sid still stuck to it.
Sid: Buzzz... NOOOO!!!!!!
The very happy Shawn runs off into the kitch with his wet toy.
Sid: (crying) Buzzxxs.. Oh no... is of death...
Shawn hugs plungered Sid, and drifts off to sleep. Sid's still crying.
Later at 11am.
Joey is watching The Price Is Right, Corey is whacking off to the 65 year olds that are known as "Barker's Beauties". The other fucks are missing. So we'll go check on Shawn and Sid... Ah. Great. Oooooo!! That's fun!! Shawn is lying on top of Sid. All you can see is Sid's hand thrashing about, trying to grab something so he can free himself.
Sid: (muffled) BUZZZX!! HELP OF MEEEEEE!!! I'S TRAPPEDEDED!!!!! HEEEEEEELP!!!!
Joey hears Sid's cries for help and decides to go see what's wrong.
Joey: Dude?
Sid: BUZZ, BUZZ! IS OF UNDER CLOWN!! HELP!!! TRAPPED!!!
Joey: Oh, okay. Gotcha.
Joey walks around the goddamn kitch table and sees Sid's hands. So he does something he probably shouldn't. He backs his ass up to Sid's hand.
Joey: What's that?
Sid: BUZZZDAMN!!! YOU BITCH WHORE!!! ME NO WANT TO GRAB OF ASS!! HELP ME!!!!
Sid pinches Joey's left ass cheek with his fingernails, and then twists the skin that he's pinched.
Joey: HOLY HELL!!! OWWWWW!!!
Sid: Buzzz... HA!! HAHA!! HA!
Joey: Ass...
Joey grabs a pan of hot boiling chicken grease off of the stove and chunks it onto Shawn.
Joey: Hehehehe....
Shawn: (talking in his sleep) Huh? Ow... damn stomach... goddamn burning stomach acid shit...
Shawn rolls over, and Sid flies free.
Shawn: Where the hell you think you going, boy?!
Shawn reaches up an pulls Sid back to him, and hugs him like a little kid hugging a teddy bear.
Sid: Buzzzxx... oh well... can breathe of now.... AHHH!!! STOP OF THAT!!!
Shawn has begun spooning with Sid. This is lovely, isn't it? Slipknot are going to beat the fuck outta us!!!!
Shawn: Mmmmmmmnuh....
Sid: Buuzzzxx... ewwww...
Shawn slowly drags his fingers down Sid's arm.
Sid: Buzzzzzxx.... NOOOOO!!!! NOT NOW!!! NOT EVER!!!
Shawn: Why the hell not?
Sid: Buzzz.. uh... buzz...
Shawn: Huh?!
Sid: Buzzzzxx!! Mum is coming in what be few minutes!!
Shawn: No the hell she's not! That's next week you slave!! You know you only get goddamn weekly visits, you sum bitch!
Sid: Buzzz.... but... but... but...
Shawn: C'mon... you know what I want goddammit...
Sid: Buzzz.... no.
Shawn: Yes, Sidney.
Sid: NOOOOO!!!! NO, BUZZZDAMMIT!!!!
Shawn: Oh yes, Sidney! That's right!! Right there! Yes! Yes!! YES!!
Sid: Dude, I'm not doing anything. Oh yeah... buzzzz... buzzz...
Shawn: Yes! That's right!!! Pick those crabs, lobsters and fleas off with your teeth! That's right!! OH GOD!!! I'M COMING!!! KEEP ON, YOU BITCH!!! I---ah.... I came, you didn't. That's all, boy!
Sid blankly stares at Shawn.
Shawn: What?
Sid: Buuzzz... ass.
Shawn looks up at the open window.
Shawn: Uh-oh...
Shawn jumps off of the goddamn kitchen table and runs naked through the house.
Shawn: SID'S MOM IS HERE!! SHIT!!! SHE'S GONNA FUCKING KILL ME!!! RUN!!!!
Shawn decides to hide under the glass coffee table that's sitting in the living room.
Shawn: She won't see me here. Nope.
Corey: (looking through the table) Sure she won't!
Shawn: Hell yeah!!
Sid: BUZZZZZZZXCXXXXX!!!! MUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYY!!!!!
Sid flies over to his mother.
Sid: BUZZZX!!! MUM!!! ME'S SO GLAD TO SEES YOU!!!!
Sid's Mom: Sidney, it is so good to see you. I haven't seen you in so long...my you've grown!
Sid pokes his mother on the shoulder, and points to himself.
Sid: Buzzzzzers....is of me, mom.....me Sid....
Sid points to the person his mother was talking to.
Sid: Buzzzzzery...that is of Jim!
Sid's Mom (let's call her Becky for the hell of it): Oh! Sid! You look the same as ever!
Sid: Buzzzzzcurry! Curry! I know!
Becky gives Sid a big hug. She sticks her hand to the back of his head, and gets something brown and sticky on it.
Becky: What's this, Sidney?
Sid: Buuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzkrunk......eeep! Chocolate! Damn clown sex games! Oh....uhm...nuffing....buzzery....
Sid darts off towards the bathroom, which is being inhabitted by three giant moles.
Mole 1 (Larry): Hey. Here's the plan. We need to get in through here, right?
Mole 2 (Bruce): No, we need to get in through here.
Mole 3 (Sarah): No! You're both wrong! It's over there we need to be!
Sid: Buzzzzzworthyvideo....um....buzzers....what are you doing?
Larry: We're trying to trying to build a neuclear carrot weapon that will destroy the Spikey One!
Bruce: Yeah, what's the best way?
Sid: Buzzzzzcrack! Uhm....climb a tree and jump?
Sarah: Okay! Thanks!
The three giant, talking moles leave.
Sid: Buzzzzzbeer...damn, mole need of bath....
Sid smells himself.
Sid: Buuuuuuuzzzzzznoooooo! Me need of bath!
Paul walks into the bathroom.
Paul: Dude, SNORT! What's wrong with your goddamn family?!
Sid: Buzzzz... gah?
Paul: WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY! AND YOU!
Sid: Buzzzzzoh!!!! Mum is of rare Namibian albino cattle fly!
Paul: Snort, wha...?
Sid: And dattie is of common house fly!
Paul: I see.... and you... are.... ?
Sid: Buzzzexxxxit!! I AM SID!
Paul: Yeah...
Paul walks out of the bathroom, more confused than he was before. Meanwhile, Echo has wondered back inside, and is attached to Mick's leg..
Mick: GRRRRRDAMN FAERIE HO!!!
Echo: Me? Ho? Whaaaaaat?
Mick: GRRRRRR!!!
Mick begins shaking his leg.
Echo: FUN RIDE!!
Craig: You do realize that you're under a glass table, right?
Shawn: Huh? What are you trying to say?
Craig: Never mind, goddammit. Why are you naked?
Shawn: Because it's cold.
Craig: Good reason.
Becky: I! HAVE! PHOTO ALBUMS!
Everyone crowds around Sid's mom.
Corey: Ooo! Ooooo! Where?! Lemme see!!! Is it porn! IS IT PORN?!
Becky: Let me sit down, and I'll show you all!
Becky walks into the living room and sits down on the glass coffee table, where Shawn is hiding under. Shawn wants to panic, but can't because he thinks she'll she him.
Shawn: (to himself) Oh, shit. Sid's mom's ass is pressed two inches above my goddamn head! PANIC!!!
But he can't. Too bad.
Becky: Photo time!!
Becky pulls out six huge photos albums, and opens one up.
Becky: This is a baby Sidney... isn't he darling?
Becky points to a picture of a naked baby Sid.
Becky: And this is Sid's first bath...
Chris: I-I... I didn't want to see that... EVER. Oh, god...
Chris runs out of the room, probably to jack off his nose.
Becky: What's wrong with him?
Mick: Grrrr.... has sensitive stomach... and erect nose...
Becky turns the page.
Becky: And this one... this is Sid trying to fly. That boy loved to go around naked...
Corey: (stripping) Me too, dammit!
Becky: Well, here's the story behind this picture... Sid was one, had just got grew wings... he was so excited! But anyway, he climbed up on his father's head, and jumped off... he flew a few feet... then he fell...
Becky points at another picture.
Becky: Any hurt himself... very badly...
Joey: Sid de-nutted himself!!! HAAAA!!!!
Joey runs into the bathroom giggling.
Joey: Dude!! You de-nutted yourself!!!
Sid: (splashing in the toilet) BUZZZZZ?! WHAAAAT?!?!
Joey: The pitcures, man!! Your mom is showing pictures!! They're fucking hilarious!!
Sid: BUZZZZNOOOOO!!!!!!!
Joey runs back into the living room.
Becky: And this was took shortly after. Sid learned how to use his wings the correct way...
Becky nods at a picture of Sid about to fly into the bathtub holding a hairdryer. The strange thing about all these pictures, he has the damn mask on!
Jim: Dude! Look how small Sid's---
Becky glares at Jim.
Jim: Uhm... how small his nose is! I didn't know they got that small!
Becky: What?
Jim: Uhm, nothing... ummm... I gotta go.
Jim walks out of the camper, and finds Rain hugging their oil barrel.
Jim: What are you doing?
Rain: I don't know, goddammit. I'm hugging a damn oil barrel, and trying to go boom.
Rain holds up her cigarette.
Rain: Why is no go boom?
Jim: I dunno. It should.
Rain: GODDAMMIT!!! GO BOOM, YOU BITCH!!!
Jim: Are you suicidal?
Rain: No. I'm living life on the edge, man!
Jim: Ah-huh.
Rain: Dangerous things are fun... WHY DO PEOPLE SAY ME AND ECHO ARE FUCKING HIPPIES?!
Jim: Dunno. Why does everyone think we're Satan?
Rain: People are closeminded fucks... hey! Wanna do something fun?!
Jim: What?
Rain: Something fun!
Jim: Uhm, okay.
Rain pulls out a lumpy package with a shitload of tape on it.
Rain: Will be fun.
Jim: What's that?
Rain: Anthrax. I got it in the mail this morning. Need to take it to the police.
Jim: Piggie'll snort it.
Rain: I'm sure he will, but no.
Rain gets up and walks into the camper.
Rain: Echo, dude. Wanna go to police with?
Echo: No. Why?
Rain: Anthrax in package.
Echo: Hell no, dude. That's queer cock rock!!
Rain: (laughing) Fuck you, dammit.
Rain goes back outside.
Jim: The Trak-Tour isn't back yet... so...
Rain: Walk.
Jim: Dude, it's like 25 miles to the cops.
Rain: Thumb for ride.
Jim: Seems safe enough.
Rain: Indeed it does.
Jim and Rain head towards the highway.
Back inside the camper...
Chris: It is!
Becky: Is not!
Chris: Is too!
Becky: No, it's not!!
Chris: Goddammit, I know one when i see it!
Corey: Both of you shut the hell up! If Sid had a man-pussy I'd be done fucked the shit outta it by now!
Chris: Really?
Corey: Hell yeah!
Becky: End of that, Mister Funny-Nose. I told you he didn't.
Chris: Dammit.
Becky stands up, picks her wedgie and sits back down over Shawn's head.
Shawn: Oh, goddamn. Ugh. Damn man. I gotta get outta here!!
Shawn pulls a Snapple bottle out of the back of his mask, pops the top, and plops some poo into his hand.
Shawn: Camouflage, bitch.
Shawn begins smearing shit over his body.
Shawn: Good thing Joey had alot of grape juice or I wouldn't have this green camouflage shit!
Paul picks up the remote and begins channel surfing.
Paul: Snort, fuck. Goddamn Dubya show on every channel. Damn Bin Laden fuck.
Corey: That shit is fucking stupid. I feel like singing. (points at Becky) You! Get the fuck out! This is secretive and you can't hear it. OUT! And you! You get your ass out too!
Becky: I haven't seen my son yet!
Corey: Go see him then.
Echo: But! But! But! My Mick!
Corey rips some fur off of Mick and crams it in Echo's ears. Mick slaps the hell out of Corey. Corey: Ow... my... my... jaw... is broken...
Becky scooches her ass across the table, and walks to the bathroom.
Becky: (kicks the door down) Sid! Baby! Honey!
Sid: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I IS OF NAKEDS!!!!!
Becky: I don't care, baby! I used to change your diapers and bathe you!
Sid: (confused and feeling threatened) Buzzzz. Buzzzz? Buzzzxxx..?
Becky: Buzzzzzzznerk. Buzzzz, buzzzz, buzzz?
Sid: BUZZZ!!!
Becky: BUZZZ!!!!
Becky hugs Sid and then flies out of the window.
Sid: Buzzzzah... gonna miss me mummy...
Shawn, the camouflaged clown mother fucker, walks through the door.
Shawn: Hi, Sidney. I love you. You know that, right?
Sid feels his world crumble, and begins crying.
Sid: Buzzzxxxxuuuhhhh... uhhh.... I-I-I... want... muh... buzzzuh... mummy!!!!
Shawn: Quit your whining, bitch boy!! I'm your mommy now!
Sid whails even louder, and then attempts to flush himself down the toilet again. He suceeds.
Shawn: No!! My beautiful Sidney Jack-Daniels!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!
Shawn begins weeping with his face in the toilet searching for Sid.
Meanwhile, Down The Toilet...
Sid: Buzzzer....whuh...where am Iiii?
A turd floats by.
Sid: Buuuzzzzz! What was that?
Suddenly, a guy walks up to Sid. A very hairy guy, with a rather bushy mustache, who looks like he super glued hair patches to himself.
Guy: (really girly voice) Hi. My name is Nick Norwood, yeah. How are you doing? Yeah.
Sid: Buuzz...where am Iiiiii?!?!?!?
Nick Norwood: You are down the toilet, yeah....
Sid: Buuuzzzxxxer....how do's I get out?
Nick Norwood: I don't know, yeah. I've been trying to figure that out myself, yeah. For the last few years, yeah. I was walking around, and I fell down the septic tank, yeah. Then I called my good friend, Mr. Dalton Newman to get him to come rescue me, yeah. But instead, he called the cops on me, yeah. Said I was prank phone calling him, or something. Yeah.
Sid: Buuuzzzzzx! You say "yeah" a lots of!
Nick: Yeah...yeah.
Sid: Buuuuzzzz! Stop saying that!!!
Nick: Okay. Yeah.
Sid begins beating himself in the head, in an effort to get Nick Norwood to stop saying "Yeah" after every sentence. It's...not gonna work.
Sid: Buzzzzzzexxr...will!
Won't.
Sid: Buzzzzzaaaa! Will!
Stop arguing with me, and get back to the story.
Sid: Buuuuuuzzzzz! Oh, yeah!
Sid notices something in the waist high water both he and Nick Norwood are standing in.
Sid: Buuuuuzzzzzzzqwerty, what's that?
Nick Norwood slurps the thing up.
Nick: Oh, the yellow pool? Yeah. That's just pee, yeah. Full of nutrients, yeah.
Told you he wouldn't stop.
Sid: Buzzzzzsaw...shut uuuuup... Ewwwww!!! You drank a pee puddle!
Nick Norwood leaps in the air.
Nick: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Yeah. Something brushed my foot!!!! Yeah. I think it was a turd!!! Yeah.
Sid scoops up the turd, and chomps down on it.
Sid and Nick: You're nasty.
The clown is still crying about Sid being lost, so we'll skip to Rain and Jim hitchhiking.
Rain: That was fast. These people are fun.
Jim: Uh, yeah.. sure...
The people that picked them up are a tractor load of Mexicans, none of which can speak English very well.
Mexican Child: Me sing! Me sing!
The Mexican kids begins singing some Spanish rhyme.
Jim: I... I don't like this anymore...
Rain: But they have goats! And they eat 'em!
Jim mumbles something and jumps off of the tractor.
Rain: (standing up) BUT THEY HAVE GRILLED GOAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
The tractor hits a pothole and Rain splatters onto the highway.
Rain: Hrmmm... no. Wait... no.
Jim: Huh?
Rain: Yep. Ouch.
A log truck cruises by and slams into the tractor full of Mexicans. Overturning the log truck and the tractor.
Jim: Whoa. Cool.
The driver of the truck climbs out and his pet runs out also.
Driver: Goddammit, Sue! Get your ass back in there!!
Rain sees the pet, and screams.
Rain: FUCKING HELL!!! GET IT THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!
Jim: It's just a pot-bellied pig. It's not going to kill you.
By this time Rain is standing on Jim's head in an attempt to get away from the pig.
Rain: KILL IT!!! IT'S EVIL!!!!
Rain hops up onto the top of Jim's head.
Rain: KILL IT GODDAMMIT!!!
Jim begins running around in circles, trying to get Rain off of his head. Rain begins running around in circles on Jim's head, trying to stay as far from the pot-bellied pig as possible. Suddenly, with a loud poof, Echo appears out of nowhere. He grabs up the pot-bellied pig, and tosses it at Rain. Rain has a heart attack, and falls to the ground. The pig lands with a splat behind Jim, and explodes.
Echo: Ooooo!!! Canadian bacon!
Echo begins gathering up the pig parts so he can take them to Canada and make bacon out of them.
Rain: I will kill you!
Rain dives at Echo to beat him senseless, but Echo poofs away at the last moment.
Somewhere In Canada...
Echo poofs in, and runs up to Jessika and Joslynn, and gives them the pig parts.
Echo: Make me Canadian bacon!
Jessika begins getting creeped out.
Jessika: Meh! Meat!
Jessika runs off to make a carrot and cheese sammich. Joslynn takes the pig parts.
Echo: Canadian bacon.
Joslynn: Okay.
Echo poofs away.
Meanwhile, In The Bathroom...
Shawn: Goddammit! Fat ass go!
Shawn is sitting with his ass in the toilet bowl, flushing the toilet repeatedly in an attempt to flush himself down to find Sid.
Shawn: (squirming in an attempt to get his ass to go down a little further) Why...won't...my...fat...ass...fit....?
Suddenly, the toilet begins flushing right, and Shawn begins going down. The toilet expands itself, showing the shape of Shawn's body, and finally, it all goes down.
Shawn: Goddammit, yeah!
Shawn slides down the toilet ride, swishing back and forth along the path. Finally, he drops out, and lands in a big pile of shit!
Shawn: Oh, I'm home.
Suddenly, Nick Norwood pops up from the middle of a turd.
Nick: Hi! Yeah. I'm Nick Norwood. Yeah. I'm here to guide you. Yeah.
Shawn: Would you like to eat my poo?
Nick: NO! Yeah.
Shawn: You do? Good!
Shawn grabs Nick by the back of the throat and begins shoving turds in his mouth. Nick attempts to spit them out, but Shawn is shoving them down so fast that he can't halp but swallow half of them. Ugh.
Nick: (spitting out turds) Noooo...taste nasty! Yeah. No more! Yeah.
Suddenly, a flying monkey dives from the roof and kicks Nick in the nuts.
Nick: That didn't hurt, yeah. I have no nuts, yeah.
The flying monkey kicks him in the nose, and disappears with a "Zap!"
Nick: My nose is bleeding! Yeah. Help me! Yeah.
The blood falls on Shawn's arm, and it turns him into a mad sex freak. Oh, wait, no. He was *already* a mad sex freak.
Shawn: I'm horny!
Nick: Oh, god. Yeah.
Shawn: GIVE IT UP, BITCH!
Nick: Oh, shit! Yeah.
Shawn begins nose raping Nick Norwood. Nick Norwood's nose splits open, and blood goes flying everywhere!
Shawn: Yummy. Oooo...
Shawn grabs an extremely large turd that is floating by, and shapes it into a baseball bat. He takes his turd baseball bat, and begins beating the walls with it.
Shawn: Sid....darling....love of my LIFE....where are you? I'm not gonna hurt you.
Sid: Buz..oo, quiet.
Shawn: You didn't let me finish, baby. I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just GONNA BASH YOUR FUCKING BRAINS IN FOR RUNNING AWAY!!!!
Sid begins flying away, and flies straight into a Norwood blood spurt.
Sid: Bussssssssssewwwwwww!!!!!
Shawn tackles Sid into a big pile of the blood, covering them both in blood, piss, and shit.
Shawn: I'm gonna drown you!
Shawn shoves Sid's head under. Sid fights his way back up, sputtering out a mouthful of the mess they're flopping about in. Suddenly, the blood begins glowing.
Shawn: What the fuck?
Suddenly, the blood gives off a big flash, and Shawn and Sid find themselves in the bathroom again.
Shawn: That was just too weird. That's the last time I drink some of Craig's piss.
Shawn wanders off to be by himself, and Sid sits there, baffled, in a pile of blood, piss, shit, sweat, and tears.