Well, we're fucked anyway, maybe using this page as an excuse when we're getting fucked up the ass by Slipknot...


Yeah, I've heard that Corey wants to do like a horizontal, uh, Mambo Number 5 with Denise Richards. Well, guess what!!!! Inside scoop!!!! Corey met up with little Miss I'm-a-lesbo-whore-in-Wild-Things-who-tried-to-be-a-Bond-girl (I think...)!!!!! I know you're dying to know what happened, right? Here, goes!!!


Okay, it all started when Chris and Corey decided to go to "Bessie's Booty", the hottest new club in Iowa. Chris didn't take long to find him a partner, cause for some reason, folks always seem to confuse nose with penis. (hey, you know what they say about a guy with a big nose...their nose is real big) Then Corey, sees from across room.


Corey: Dude, is that? It can't be? But it looks? Oh, my? Denise Richards? Dude, I gotta get that!!!


Corey gets his pimp on as he kicks it 'cross the room.


Corey: Excuse me, Miss. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?


Denise: (smiles) No, but I tell you what you can have...(rubs thigh)


Corey: (to self) Dude, score!!! (to Denise) Sounds good...


Cut to movie theater. Corey and Denise have decided to go watch Sid's new movie, "A Bug's Life 2". Sounds like a good movie. It also has Mike Cox, from Coal Chamber, has hella much parental guidance warning for like sex, drugs, and "Harsh Language".


Corey: Dude, look at those ants go at it!!! "How Antie Got It's Groove Back"!!!


Denise: Excuse me. I have to go "powder my nose".


Corey: Okay.


Denise walks off.


Corey: Dude! I could go like spy on, get like a sneak preview, and maybe like surprise in bathroom and bang the fuck out of her ass!!!!


Corey gets up and dashes out towards the lobby. He just gets a glimpse of his wannabe lover slipping into the bathroom. Corey slips over to the door and begins to push it open when he looks at the door.


Corey: Damn PC crap. This chick doesn't even have a skirt on!!!


Corey slips into bathroom, and looks under stalls. He only sees one pair of feet.


Corey: Dude, that's her!!!


Corey then hops over the stall door.


Corey: Hello luva!!!


Denise: Oh, so you finally, got here...


Denise then throws Corey against the wall, rips off his pants and grabs his schlong. She beats it against the wall until it begins to swell, and then begins to give Corey the best blowjob he has ever had. Corey gets all wrapped up in it, and finally, cream gets on wall.


Denise: Okay, lover, my turn.


Denise rips off her clothes, and Corey decides to take a glimpse of "the promised land" and sees, to his amazement...


Corey: Oh, shit!!! Chick wit' a dick!!!!


Denise: Yeah, honey. You gonna blow me or what? I didn't spend all day getting dressed up like Denise Richards for nothing!!!


Corey: Oh, fuck! (Drops to knees) Oh, shit, I didn't know you were a dude, dude! Oh sh--murf!!!!!


"Denise" pulls out a pair of handcuffs and chains Corey to the hand rail. "Denise" (or is it Dennis?) then attempts to shut Corey up by stuffing his/her/it/shit's oversized thingamahootchit down Corey's throat. Corey attempts to spit it out but only gets choked more. "Denise" then says...


"Denise": Turn over so I can butt-fuck your ass!!!!


Voice: Oh, hell!!!! Get outta the way!!! Shit pains!!! Shit pains!!!!


From the next stall, all they can hear is like a ton of diarrhea shit flowing out some guys ass and splashing all over the wall, toilet, and floor.


Corey: Aw, hell, sick, dude!!!


Voice: Corey? Dude, that you? Where ya been?


Corey: Dude, Chris man, some guy dressed like Denise Richards has done handcuffed me up and is molestin' me over here!!!


Chris: Aw, hell, dude!!! Hey, here, throw some of my shit in her face!!!


Corey: I can't dude!!!


Chris: Man, just act like it's pudding!!!


Corey: No, dude, I'm handcuffed!!!


Chris: Oh. Dude, watch out!!


Chris hops up, hangs his ass over the stall, and lets fly. Diarrhea shit flys all over everything.


"Denise": Sick bastard!!!


"Denise" high tails it out of the bathroom, leaving Chris, a handcuffed Corey, and a trail of shit.


Chris: Dude, she could have at least used some T.P. to wipe her ass before she left...


Corey: Dude, help here. I've been violated.


Chris helps get Corey out, using the nose on his mask to pick the lock.


Chris: Dude, put on some pants.


Chris and Corey follow the trail of shit, and finally find "Denise" in a back alley washing off using a Kleenex and smelly "dirty" water that's dripping out of an air conditioner. Chris sneaks up behind "her", throws "her" against a wall, and begins fucking "her" up the ass using the nose of his mask as a dildo...finally, when he's finished, he and Corey string "her" up by "her" little toe, and leave "her" hanging....


Dude, Sic!!!