Slipknot found a ouija board, and started playing with it. Suddenly, a wind starts pulling toward the board, and begins sucking Slipknot into it!!!
Corey: Oh, yeah, baby!!! Suck me good!!!
Slipknot gets dragged in, and sent to Hell. Chris is walking around, and fire starts jumping up at his feet!!!
Chris: Oh, yeah? Take this, bitch!!!
Chris starts pissing on the fire, and it jumps up again, and his coveralls leg catches on fire. Chris starts running around in circles.
Chris: Put me out!!! Put me out!!!
Craig: Okay. Hey, everyone!!! Chris is gay!!!
Chris: I said “put me out” not “Make out with me”!!
Craig: Oh, well, then your dick is so small, you have to use tweezers to masturbate!!!
Chris: Not put me down!!!
Craig: Ohhhhh…put out the fire!!!! Why the hell didn’t you say so?
Craig pisses on Chris’ leg and puts out the fire. Jim walks around, and finds David Yost, the guy that played Billy, The Blue Power Ranger (back in the days when it wasn’t QUITE as gay…when folks would actually watch it…). Well, Jim goes over and begins talking to Billy.
Jim: Oh, my god!!! It’s Billy!!! The Blue Ranger!!! Omigod, you guys are my heroes!!! I can’t get in the mood to have sex unless I’m playing with your toys!!!
Billy: That’s marvelous. Just fantastic! Hey, want to help me make a machine to relieve people of their suffering?
Jim: Why the hell would you want to do that?
Billy: So people will enjoy their stay!!! This is Hell after all, the greatest place in the world!!!
Jim: Dude, I thought you would have been cooler…HEY!!! I know!!! Why don’t you morph, and Call upon The power of the Triceratops Dinozord!!!
Billy: You do know that that stuff is just make-believe, right?
Jim: (covering his ears with his hands) SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!! YOU ARE A LIAR!!!
Billy: No it’s true!!! It’s all fake!!!
Jim: No!!!!
Jim runs around in circles, and figures the best way to make Billy shut up is to beat his ass. Jim then proceeds to tear Billy a new asshole. Well, Slipknot then decides to make their way to the Devil, to see why they were sucked into Hell. They make their way to the throne room, where they find a giant purple cow sitting on the throne.
Cow: (loud booming voice) My name is Hootchie!!! You may know me better as the devil!!!
Shawn: GODDAMMIT!!! Why in Hell are you a violet cow?!?
Hootchie: Purple, actually.
Shawn: You are fucking violet!!!
Hootchie: Okay…anyway, you have come here because prophecy said that a nine piece from Iowa would be able to bring Hell on Earth!!!
Craig: Oh, wait. They must have meant St. John’s Wart, that Gospel group.
Hootchie: Dammit!!! I knew we should have looked into it a little more!!!
Shawn: Damn straight. Send us back, dammit!!!
Hootchie: I can’t. You’ll have to stay here until tomorrow. Well, may as well make the most of it!!! Here, have some food!!!
Hootchie hands Slipknot some plates filled with turkey, chicken livers, and chitlins.
Mick: Grrrrr….what? No drink?
Hootchie hands them all some moose piss.
Corey: Yum!!!
Corey drinks up all of his moose piss, and holds out his glass.
Corey: More!!!
Hootchie gives Corey some more moose piss. Corey begins gulping this down, too.
Hootchie: You like that moose piss, don’t you?
Corey spits out the moose piss.
Corey: What did you say?
Hootchie: I said you like that moose piss, don’t you?
Corey: Sick, dude!!! I thought it was fucking Lemonade!!!
Hootchie stands up, and begins to milk herself. Hootchie keeps on, and some milk flies and hits Shawn in the back of the head. Shawn reaches up, and feels the back of his head. He brings it back in front of him, and sees some white stuff on his hand.
Shawn: (looking suspiciously at Corey) GODDAMMIT!!! Who creamed in my hair???
Hootchie sits back down, and flames shoot up. Suddenly…
Corey: Oh, my god!!! It’s Denise Richards!!!
Corey runs over, and begins humping the fire. Everytime Corey thrusts, the flames shoot up.
Corey: Ow!!! Denise….you’re into that kinky stuff, aren’t you? Oh, so you like burning, huh? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That’s right. That’s good. Yeah.
Finally, Corey finds one way to put out the Hellfires. He goes back to sit down, looks up, and sees Hootchie. There is a glare coming off of Hootchie’s head, though, that Corey Mistakes for something else. Suddenly…
Corey: Oh, my god!!! It’s Denise Richards!!!
Corey runs over, leaps on Hootchie’s head, and begins humping away.
Corey: YEAH, BABY!!! Oh, you want me, don’t you? Yeah, yeah, yeah!!! Oh, yeah!!!
Hootchie: Get offa me!!!! Little freaking pervert!!!!
Joey: Oooooooooo, Corey is gonna go to Hell when he dies!!!!
Hootchie: I think not!!! I don’t want that little perv humping me every day!!!
Suddenly…
Puppy-Kitten: Eeeeep!!!!
The Puppy-Kitten comes dashing through the throne room.
Hootchie: Guards, belay that miscreant!!! We shall torture it later!!!
Mick stands up.
Mick: Grrrrr…..no….torture….puppy-kitten….
Mick goes over and clubs Hootchie. Mick sits down on the throne.
Mick: Grrrrr……I…am….new….devil….I…AM…SATAN!!!!
Jim: Okay, Mr. New Satan Man, what’s the first thing you’re going to do as the Devil?
Mick: Grrrr….first….guards!!! Bring me a pineapple!!!
The guards bring Mick a pineapple.
Mick: Grrrrr....Now, pick up Hootchie.
The guards pick up Hootchie. Mick then shoves that pineapple up Hootchie’s big, purple…
Shawn: Violet!!!!
Okay, Up Hootchie’s big VIOLET ass!!!!
Mick: Grrrrr….next….thing…do…get…666…tattoo….on…arm….
Yes, And On That Note, Let Us Get Out Of Hell…