Hi! My name is Richard Gere!
Look at me and shed a tear!
What is this, you like my rear?
The gerbil up it is filled with fear!
Now let us go to Sears!
Here, kick back a couple beers!
Now I dig into my ear!
A little iguana is living here!
Look at it, all filled with cheer!
It snaps at me when I come near!
At least it’s not a cat named Meer!
I think my mom was a deer!
What is that face? Is that a leer?
I have an ostrich, it is clear
It rides around on a steer
It does this only once a year
Please stop calling me a queer!
Okay, by special request from “Joey Jordison” a dude that keeps signing our guestbook, (aka our message board) saying that he’s the real thing, and that he visits us everyday, we had to write this story. If by some odd chance it is, we can’t take any chances of pissing him off (other than the ones we already have, check Echo’s replies in the guestbook for details on this), so we now present, “Joey GOES TO NEW YORK”, the first SOLO story.
Joey: Hmmmm….soon enough….I’ll actually be in New York….
Suddenly, Joey passes a sign that says “Miami 15 Miles”.
Joey: Dammit!!!
Joey does a quick u-turn on the Trak-Tour, and goes back in the other direction. Joey suddenly sees a hippie van on the side of the road, and he stops. Like twenty-one hippies or so, a cat, a turtle, and four dogs jump up into the trailer.
Hippie Dude Named Butterfly: Hey, man. Where you goin’?
Joey: New Yawk.
Butterfly: Oh, man. Good dude. We’re tryin’ to get to Amsterdam.
Joey: Goddammit, what is that smell? Shawn, did you fucking stow away in the damn Trak-Tour?
Joey whips around in the driver’s seat, looking back over the wooden tractor (that normally smells like piss, but is now filled with a more overpowering scent). He looks back, and sees that one of the hippies is Bruce Villanche, and that another is Bruce’s twin, Jerry Garcia’s corpse. Jerry Garcia (which is where the smell is coming from, of course) is sitting there, with his head flopping, and a big toothy grin on his face. He also has a joint hanging out of his mouth. Two of the hippies, who are sitting there in all of their tie-dyed glory, with big enormous smiles on their faces, have ropes tied around the wrists of both them and Jerry Garcia. This is so that he can move. And sit up. Oh, yeah. They have have also strapped themselves to his ankles.
Hippie Dude Named Sunshine: Dude…I think Jerry ripped one….
Joey: Oh, man!
Joey rolls down the window. He sees a gas station and pulls over. Everyone piles out of the Trak-Tour, and runs in to grab some food. A bunch of the guys grab potato chips, others grab Snickers bars, others grab Cokes…so on and so on… The hippies begin walking up to the counter.
Joey: Dude, what are you doing?
Hippie Dude Named Lollipop: We’re paying, man…
Joey: No, dude. Watch this!
Joey takes all of their food and things, and stuffs them down his pants with his stuff. He then begins to walk toward the door.
Joey’s Pants: Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle…
Joey: Dude, I only took one fucking step!!!
Joey’s Penis: (faintly) Help!! I can’t breathe!!!
Joey runs out of the door, and pulls out his dick. He then slaps it a couple of times.
Joey: C’mon, dick! Don’t die on my now!!! Titus!!! No!!! Wake up, Titus!! You can't be dead!!!
This is when a lady named Amanda happens by. She sees Joey, and believes he is attempting to whack off in the middle of the parking lot. So, of course, she stands there watching him.
Amanda: Can I help you?
Joey: What? Oh. It’s not what you think. It couldn’t breathe. Now I think Titus the Titan is dead.
Amanda walks over, and exhales softly on Joey’s penis.
Joey’s Penis (aka Titus the Titan): (yawning) Ahhhh….huh? Is it morning already?
Amanda: I guess it was just asleep.
Joey: Yeah.
Note To Readers: Okay, yeah. I COULD do a little cheap shot at Joey by having him say something about how that is “the first time a female has ever awakened Titus”, but I’m not. Oh, shit. I just did, didn’t I? Iiiiiiiiiii diiiiiidddddd diiiiiddn’t I?
Amanda: You know…… (runs her finger down Joey’s chest)….you’re pretty sexy…..
Joey: Really? Wow. Oh, man you’re hot.
Amanda: What do you say we go get us a hotel room? I’d love to see Titus in action.
Joey: Okay!
Joey and Amanda run across the street to the “Sleeping Dragon” motel, and get a room. They run over to the room, and well, we all know what happens. They screw. Eight hours. Damn. I mean they went at it furiously. I seriously don’t feel like describing it right now, though. ‘Cause that’d take a while. Especially since they started off slow, with him and her making out a little, rubbing against each other. Then they began to take off their clothes. Of course, they had to do a nice little strip show, though. Joey jumps up onto the bed, which has those giant butt-plug like things that are wooden and rise up from each of the four corners of the bed. He then starts spinning around the wooden thingie, and rubbing his crotch on it. He then pulls off his shirt, and rubs it along his crotch. Oh, man I hope I’m not getting all the Joey fans hot now. Damn. Okay, Joey then undoes his belt, pulls it out, turns around, and rubs it across his ass. He tosses this over into the corner, where he has also tossed his shirt. He then undoes his pants, bends over and does the little “shhhhhh” thing, and stands back up. He hops off of the bed, forces Amanda down into a chair, and starts thrusting his ass into her face. Repeatedly he thrusts his ass into her face. After a couple of times, she sticks out her tongue to lick it, but he turns around.
Joey: No, you can’t touch the strippers when they are giving lap dances!!!
Amanda: Okay.
Joey continues his lap dance, and finally pulls his pants off, exposing his thong. He then begins pulling his ass cheeks apart, and letting them jiggle back together. Oh, now it’s time to give the guys some whacking material. What do you think? Okay, Amanda reaches up, and lets her blonde hair fall down around her shoulders. She then begins shimmy-ing (how the fuck am I supposed to spell that?) around the room, looking over her shoulder at Joey and making a little kissy mouth motion. She goes over to the freezer, reaches in and pulls out a popsicle. She then puts this in her mouth, and slowly draws it back out.
Joey: (to himself) Hmmmph. My strip tease was better. Damn it got me so hot I almost came.
Amanda then begins unbuttoning her shirt. She lets it fall to the floor, exposing her nearly naked torso. She then bends backwards, forcing her voluptuous breasts upwards. She straightens back up, reaches behind her, and undoes her bra. She shrugs this off, baring her immense breasts. She then goes over to Joey, forces him into the chair, gets in real close, and bends over, putting her mammoth ass an inch from Joey’s face. Meanwhile, Joey has begun to drool Amanda straightens back up, undoes her little teeny skirt, and drops it to the floor. She then bends over towards Joey, putting him right between her breasts.
Amanda: So….let’s get you out of that thong.
Amanda kisses Joey on the forehead.
Joey: Sure…..but first….
Joey lifts his left hand, grabs her right boob on it’s right side, lifts his right hand, grabs her left boob on it’s left side, puts his face between them, pushes them together, and begins shaking his head back and forth.
Joey: Bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh!!!
Joey lets go, stands up, and slowly wiggles out of his thong. Amanda turns her back to Joey, bends over, wiggles her butt at Joey, wiggles it, and slowly brings her g-string to her ankles. She then lies down on the bed and spreads her legs wide, burning with desire for Joey.
Amanda: C’mon, Titus. Priscilla is waiting….
Okay, I’m serious this time. I am NOT going to go into what happened next. They had an eight hour love-making session. That is the extent of what I’m going to tell you. Just use your imagination. Okay, after their eight hour session, Joey fell asleep. Of course. When he wakes up, Amanda is nowhere to be seen, and all of the stolen food is missing.
Joey: Damn. She just wanted me for my munchies.
Joey walks out of the hotel room, and back across the street to the gas station. The hippies are still in there, and a couple of them are talking to the cashiers.
Hippie Dude Named Rainbow: Oh, man. That’s cool dude.
Spanish Cashier Dude Named Juan: Si, man. That cat was loco en la cabesa, you know?
Hippie Dude Named Cloud: Yeah, dude. Try some of this, man.
Cloud hands something to one of the three Spanish cashiers, and the Latino dude takes it. He then tries it.
Experimental Latino Dude Named Jorge: Oh, man. That’s some good chit right there, man!!
Jorge passes it to the third Latino dude. The third dude takes a puff.
Third Dude Named David Buckner: Oh, man that some good….
David Buckner’s eyes cross, and he passes out. Meanwhile Joey has walked over to the only female hippie in the whole group, Rock.
Joey: Hey, there. You know, you’re pretty sexy.
Rock peers through her long hair to look at Joey.
Rock: (rubbing her chubby right hand against her pudgy left arm) Really?
Joey: Yeah. I love a nice big ass. You got a good sized one on you, too.
Rock blushes.
Joey: You know….if you wanna get out of here….I know somewhere we can go…..
So next we have Rock against the Trak-Tour in the spread legged position that the cops make you get in. Of course, behind her is Joey, banging her up the ass. Her little blubbery ass is jiggling back and forth in waves against Joey. This is when Juan walks out.
Juan: Oh man!! Bang dat ass, homes!!! ¡¡¡¡Usted golpea ese asno grande con su pene gigante!!!! Si, man!!!
The hippies begin piling out of the store, and into the Trak-Tour. Earth and Wind come out dragging Jerry Garcia’s corpse; Sunshine, Rainbow, Cloud and Fire come out passing a doobie; Water, Heart, Star and Horseshoe come out chomping on mushrooms; Clover, Blue Moon, Starfish, Sunflower, and Lollipop come out passing around some acid; Butterfly comes out carrying Snow the Turtle; Dove comes out carrying Love the cat; and Hail is left to try to drag in the four dogs, Mushroom, Harmony, Peace, and Grateful Dead. All of them hop into the Trak-Tour but Heart, who comes over to Joey.
Heart: Oh, man. I been trying to hit that for years now. How’d you do it?
Joey: Ho-Ho’s.
Joey, Rock, and Heart hop into the Trak-Tour. Joey hops in behind the driver’s seat and cranks up the Trak-Tour.
Joey: Ah, dammit Jerry. You fart in every car we get!!
Joey walks over to Jerry Garcia’s corpse, reaches into his pocket, and begins hanging those Christmas tree air fresheners from his ears. He then puts a couple in Jerry’s armpits. Joey then sits down, and presses down on the gas.
Miles Down The Road....
Dove: Oh, man….Joey, I love playing with your long hippie hair….
Joey: Dammit, get back there and sit down!!!
Dove goes back to the back, and sits down. Joey then puts in an album by “The Jeffrey Dahmer Band”.
CD Player: Oh….ah toes taste gooood…toes taste goood…..I tell you now…ah toes taste goood!!!!
This is when that song ends.
Joey: God, I love this cd.
The music starts back up again, and Jerry Garcia’s corpse gets up, ON IT’S OWN, and begins walking around. (okay, so we won’t steal anything else from “Weekend At Bernie’s”, okay?) It wanders up to where Joey is, and grabs at him.
Joey: Hey!!!
Joey smacks at him, and Jerry backs off.
Bruce Villanche: Hmmm….
Bruce tackles Jerry, and they proceed to….uhm…..well…..nephromania? Yeah. They proceed to commit nephrophilia. Oh, no!!! When Joey smacked at Jerry, he turned the wheel!!! He lost control of the Trak-Tour!!! We’re gonna crash!!!!
A Few Moments Later….
Joey: Oh, man. That was one hell of a crash!! Do it again!! Do it again!!! Dudes? Dudes?! DUDES?!?!?
Joey goes over to the mangled trailer, and finds the mutilated bodies of all the hippies.
Joey: (cradling Rock) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Joey looks up at the sky.
Joey: Why, God, why?
Joey stares at a cloud.
Joey: God, you fucking BASTARD!!!!
Joey looks up once more.
Joey: Okay, that’s enough mourning.
Joey runs over and sits up the Trak-Tour, unhooks the demolished trailer, and starts back down the road.
Later Still…..
Joey: Uhm, yeah. I need that trailer right there. How much is it?
Farmer Bob: Well, see, ah normahly don’t sell mah farmin’ eee-kawip-meyant, but ah thinks ah can let you a-haves it for a couple hunnit dollahs…
Joey: Okay. Here. Uhm, where the hell am I?
Farmer Bob: Idaho.
Finally, When Joey Gets To New York…
Joey: Ah….I’m finally here….
Joey steps out of the Trak-Tour, and the scent of urine hits him immediately.
Joey: Ah….smells like home…
Suddenly, a guy runs up, taps Joey in the back of the head, and pushes him down. Joey falls out unconscious. When Joey comes to, he sees that someone has stolen all of his things, and the Trak-Tour is missing!!!
Joey: Oh, fuck, man!!! Maybe they went down this dark alley!!!
Joey begins walking down the dark alley, and someone follows him in. The dude behind Joey holds a knife to his throat, and tells him to take off his pants. Joey does, and the guy proceeds to butt-rape him. The guy then knocks Joey in the head, and drags him over to a puddle to wash away the evidence. Later, a disheveled and disoriented Joey stumbles out of the alley.
Joey: You’re still not as good as Shawn….damn my head hurts…..
Oh, it just dawned on me that we didn’t let you know WHY Joey decided to go to New York. Okay, see what happened was Joey had a dream. A dream that one day, we would rise above….oh, uhm, wrong dream. Okay, Joey dreamed that he went to New York and found his fortune. Well, he decided to sneak off of the roof of the camper trailer, steal the Trak-Tour, and take off under cover of night. So he did. Now he’s in New York, has no money, has no clothes, and has lost the Trak-Tour. At least he got to score twice on the way there. Now, back to the story.
Joey: Dude, what the fuck am I going to do?
Joey sits down on the sidewalk, and begins to think.
Joey: Dude, I know!!!! Maybe my fortune is some hidden bank account I don't know about!!!
Joey begins walking down the street, and walks into the first bank he sees.
Joey: Ahhhhh....the sperm bank. This sounds like a good one....
Joey goes up to the desk, and asks for his money.
Lady At The Desk: Okay, sir. We'll give you your money, but first....
The lady hands Joey a cup.
Joey: Uhm....you forgot to fill it!
Lady: No, sir. You are supposed to take the cup into one of those rooms and ejaculate into it.
Joey: You're gonna drink my fuckin' cum?!? What kind of a sick bitch are you?!?!?!?!?
Lady: Follow me sire.
The lady shows Joey into a room, and hands him a magazine.
Lady: Here you are, sir.
Joey: "Sexy Nude Stud Muffin Boys"?!? What the fuck did you give me this for?
Lady: Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought that...you know....you mean you're not?
Joey: NO!!!!!!
Joey hurls the magazine at the lady's face.
Lady: That was a bit uncalled for. Sir, what kind of magazine would you like?
Joey: I don't know. Something with some big breasted whores.
The lady gives Joey a copy of Super Juggs magazine.
Joey: (flipping through the magazine) Man, these breasts are too damn big!!! I don't want this....hey, wait a minute....is that? Dude, what the hell is Shawn doing in here?
Joey stares down at the picture of Shawn baring his chest. The picture of Shawn stares back up at Joey. Joey stares at the picture. The picture stares back at him. This goes on for about 5 minutes.
Picture: Don't you want me, baby?
Titus The Titan: That is disgusting!!!
Joey tosses the magazine in the corner, grabs the lady, rips her clothes off, and rapes her on the spot. Just as he's about to blow, he pulls out and lets his cream fall into the cup. He then hands this to the lady.
Joey: Drink up, bitch!!!
Lady: Oh, my god.....that was the best I've ever had.....
Joey: Where's my damn money?
Lady: Here you go.....
The lady hands Joey a couple of small bills.
Joey: Dude, this is fucking Monopoly money!!!
Lady: Whoops...
The lady hands Joey a ten dollar bill.
Lady: Come back anytime. Grrrrrrrrrr-ruff!!!
Joey: Yeah, right.
Joey walks out of the sperm bank mumbling about some new t-shirt design or something. It was something about "I fucked a lousy ass sperm bank whore and all I got was ten bucks...". Anyway, Joey continues walking down the street, eager to find another bank that might have his fortune inside. When he finally finds one, he stares up at the sign for a few minutes.
Joey: Dude, I didn't even know they had banks for vampires!!! Dude, and it's fucking open in the daytime!!! What luck!
Joey walks into the blood bank, and asks for his money.
Guy behind the counter: Okay, sir. We'll give you your money in a minute, but first we need some blood.
Joey: Ah, dammit. Of all the luck, I had to get the one gay vampire....okay, go ahead.....
Joey bares his neck.
Guy: Uhm, sir? We usually just get the blood from your arm.
Joey: No you don't. You always get it from the jugular. I've seen every movie about your kind ever made!!!
Guy: Oooooooooo-kay. Uhm, this'll just take a second.
The guy pulls out his needle and begins taking Joey's blood.
Guy: Now, you may be a litte woozy after this...
Joey: What are you tal....
Joey thumps down onto the floor.
The guy goes running into the back
Guy: Dude, dude!! Help!!!
The guy runs out from the back followed by another guy.
Guy #2: Aw, damn! Tell me you didn’t take his blood!!
Guy: I-I-I-I... I took his blood...
Guy #2: How much did you take?
Guy: I took a pint, like I'm supposed to do.....
Guy #2: Don't you know that small people like him only have a pint and a half of blood, total?
Guy: I-I-I-I-I-I forgot!!!!
Guy #2: Fuck! We gotta get him to the hospital!!!
The guys toss Joey into the trunk of a car.
Guy #2: Check and see how much money he has! Check his damn wad!
Guy begins grabbing Joey's crotch.
Guy: It's pretty big....
Guy #2: Well, pull it on out, then...
Guy begins undoing Joey's pants.
Guy #2: What are you doing?
Guy: I'm getting out his wad....
Guy #2: I meant his wad of cash, you queer ass bastard!!!
Guy #2 reaches into Joey's pocket, and pulls out his ten dollars. They then take Joey to the hospital.
Later, At The Hospital...
Joey wakes up.
Joey: Dude, where the hell am I?
A nurse walks in.
Joey: Yowza....
Nurse: You're in the hospital, Mr. Doe....
The nurse shuts the door.
Nurse: And I'm here to make you feel alllll better....
The nurse unbuttons her shirt, exposing her ebony breasts.
Joey: Do you treat all your patients this way?
Nurse: Only the ones with gigantic cocks like yours...
Joey and the black nurse lady begin going at it. Later....
Nurse: Oh, my god. Was it good for you too?
Joey: Sure. Why not?
Joey gets up and gathers his things.
Nurse: Where are you going?
Joey: I'm outta here, ho.
Joey walks out of the hospital, and begins shuffling around on the sidewalk. He continues walking, and comes across Bob and Jacob Dylan, singing in the street for money.
Note to Readers - For the full humorous effect of this, you have to see Echo perform this. If you get a chance, and see Echo somewhere, you have to get him to perform this. If nothing else, this. We may put in a sound file in the next few weeks, but the visual.....damn......
Bob: (mumbling something that sounds like) Ooo dup doo doo whut doo dah dah doo,
Unh lup la loo gah tah wha la moo
Ine toop doo whoo la la whut yu doo
Up dup loo loo yu muh beeby boo
Ooooo oooo oooooo yuu muh beeby boo
Take it Jacob!
Jacob: Dad. I don't know this song.
Bob: Yeah you do, Jacob! I wrote it for you. It was your lullaby!!!
Jacob: Okay, dad. I'll try.
Ooo dup doo doo whut doo dah dah doo,
Unh lup la loo gauh tah wha la moo
Ine toop doo whoo la la whut yu doo
Up dup loo loo yu muh beeby boo?
Bob: That's right, Jacob!
Ooo laa laa lee
Moo kaa meee
Ooone laa la whoo
Whut yu la la dooo
Up lup la la yu my beeby boo!!!
Take it, Jacob!
Jacob: I....I wish you could swim....
Bob: (thrashing about) No, Jacob! Not your song! We do my song!
Ooo laa laa whoo ta da doo la loo
Une la la whoo toot ta la la moo
Ipe la la whoo whut yu gotta do
I know yu eess my beeby boo!
Joey continues down the road, and sees another bank. He walks in, and goes up to the nearest teller. The teller automatically raises his hands.
Joey: I want my money.
Teller: Whatever you say, sir...
The teller hands Joey a bag of money.
Joey: Dude....alright.....I found my money!
Alright, since I know of no other way to say this....Joey blew all of his money on three things. Okay, they were:
1.) Buying his own deli
2.) Whores, and
3.) An expensive hotel room
Isn't that nice?
Joey: Ah....it's nice to be rich....
Okay, we rejoin Joey in the early morning...in room 356....right as he is waking up....
Joey: Oh, god...that was some good sex last night...(feels the thigh behind him)....wasn't it, honey?
Joey turns over, and gazes into the eyes of last nights lover.
Joey: I thought you had red hair...
This is when the entire situation sinks in for Joey.
Joey: Hmmm...last night....you had full red hair, not this damn bald spot. You were thin, not fat. You didn't always have hair all over your body. Oh, yeah. Were you always a guy?
Later On, At The Deli...
Joey is working the counter, serving up the specialty of "Joey's Fortune", which is of course, Pop Tart Sammiches. Two black guys walk in, and come up to Joey.
Joey: Yeah, what ya want?
Q-Var: Yo, I want a hoagie.
Joey: We don't have hoagies.
Q-Var: Alright, yo. Then gimme aaaaaaaaaa..... hoagie.
Joey: We don't have hoagies. We have Pop Tart Sammiches.
Q-Var: Aight, yo. Can I get a hoagie with that?
Joey: Dude, I don't have any fucking hoagies!
Q-Var: Huh? Oh, sorry. Well then....I want a hoagie with that.
Joey: I. Don't. Have. Any. Fucking. Hoagies!!!
Q-Var: Okay then. I want something to drink, yo.
Joey: Okay, sure.
Q-Var: I want aaaaaaaa.....hoagie.
Joey: (turning to the other guy) Okay, what do you want?
Andre: I want a number six with cheese.
Joey: I don't think we even have a number six. What the hell is a number six?
Andre: A hoagie.
Later On, After A Non-Profitable Day At The Deli...
Joey begins wandering around, aimlessly looking for somewhere to sleep for the night. He looks down, and sees a phone line on the sidewalk. He follows the phone line, until he comes to a cardboard box. He looks into the cardboard box, and sees a bum, typing away on a computer.
Joey: Damn.
Bum: Huh?
Joey: So, what are you doing?
Bum: I'm updating my page. It's called "ShiT-NoT, The First Slipknot Humor Page"...
Joey: Really? Well...hi. I'm Joey. I'm one of the drummers of Slipknot.
Joey ends up rooming with the bum with Internet connection for the night.
The Next Day At The Deli...
Joey is once again working the counter, and the black guys walk in again, this time dragging along Jerry Garcia's corpse.
Joey: Hey, I didn't have any hoagies yesterday, and I don't have any hoagies today.
Q-Var: That's alright, homes. I just want a hoagie.
Joey: If you want a fucking hoagie, go down the street to Subway.
Q-Var: Naw, man. I want a hoagie, not a sub. Now, today, I want a ham and cheese hoagie with some lettuce, tomatoes, Ranch dressing, some mushrooms...
Joey patiently waits until the guy finishes naming off the ingredients he wants on his hoagie. When the guy finally finishes naming off the ingredients he wants on his hoagie...
Joey: We don't have any hoagies.
Q-Var: Aight, yo. I want a hoagie, then.
Joey: We don't have any fucking hoagies!!!
Q-Var: Yo, man, I can smell the damn hoagies!
Joey: That's my feet, you ass!!!
Q-Var: Naw, man. That's a hoagie I smell.
Joey: Alright, that's it.
Joey hops over the counter.
Joey: I want you, your friend, and that goddamn trouble maker Jerry Garcia out of my fucking deli!!!!
Joey grabs Q-Var and Andre, and begins to physically remove them from the deli. On the way out, the joint that was hanging from Jerry Garcia's mouth falls and lands on a pile of Pop Tart boxes in the floor. Okay, hopefully we all know how combustable Pop Tart boxes are, if not, be careful when you go burn 'em. I know of being burnt. (does wide, evil, sick grin) Okay, so the boxes burst into flames.
Later Still....
Joey is walking along the sidewalk, looking down at his feet downtrodden.
Joey: Ah, fuck. What am I gonna do now? I came all this way for nothing. I lost the fucking Trak-Tour. I lost my fucking deli. Damn firefighters just let the mother fucker burn to the ground. I can't even fucking get home!!!
Joey looks ahead a few feet, and sees something shiny lying on the ground.
Joey: What the hell?
Joey walks over and picks up the shiny object. It turns out to be a nickel.
Joey: I came all way out here to New York for this? Dammit!!!
Joey puts the nickel into his pocket. Suddenly, he hears a noise from above him. He looks up, just in time to see the Trak-Tour hurtling off of a rooftop towards him! Joey dives out of the way, and the Trak-Tour crashes to the ground.
Joey: No, that must be my treasure!!!!
Joey runs over and wraps the Trak-Tour up in a giant hug. He then hops into the driver's seat. He puts the key in and turns it, and amazingly the Trak-Tour starts up! Joey then begins the long trip home.
I'll Give Joey My Fortune, Wink Wink...