Hmmm, you’ve heard all the Florida jokes, right? Yeah, you wish. Now it’s our turn!


Uhm, well, for some odd reason, Slipknot decide to go to Florida. Why? Uhm, they wanted to see their parents in Grandpa-Land. Yeah, that’s it. Well, they went down to Florida…


Craig: Florida…where your votes count…and count…and count…


Well, they go looking around for the new theme park that is real popular with the old folks, the aforementioned Grandpa-Land. Well, while looking for it, they stumble onto that infamous tv personality from the eighties, you all know who I’m talking about, the loveable, hug-able, but I won’t say fuck-able, Mr. T!!! Well, we all know T and that infamous mo-hawk of his (and if you don’t, shame on you! Go to your room and watch Rocky III and the A-Team!!!), and, well, that Florida sun reflected off the shaven part of T’s head, and shone directly into Corey’s eyes, and, of course, suddenly…


Corey: Oh, my god!!! It’s Denise Richards!!!


Corey goes running over to try to hump Mr. T, and Mr. T knocks the hell out of Corey.


Mr. T: I pity the fool that try to hump T!


Suddenly…


Corey: Oh, my god!!! It’s Mr. T!!!


Corey goes running over, and vigorously shakes Mr. T’s hand. The rest of Slipknot comes running over.


Mick: Grrrr…T….is…hero….sign…..my….KITTY!!!!!


Shawn: Goddammit!!! I loves to watch Mr. T! I pity the goddamn fool that don’t watch T!!!


Mr. T and Slipknot have a good laugh over this.


Jim: Where you goin’, Mr. T?


Mr. T: I’m going over there to that Grandpa-Land theme park to see my grandma.


Chris: Dude, that’s where we’re going too!!!


Mr. T: Well, all right then. Hop up in my Jeep here, and I’ll give you fellas a ride over to Grandpa-Land!


Slipknot and T pile into the jeep, and they take off, putt-putt-putting down the road. On the way, they talk about what Mr. T has been up to lately, and converse about how much T’s gold weighs. Suddenly…


Mr. T: I pity the fool that just cut off T!


Mr. T chases down a minivan full of kids, makes them pull over, yanks out the driver, beats them upside the head, hops back in the jeep, and continues on to Grandpa-Land. They get to the gate, and Jennifer Lopez happens to be standing there. Oh, no. Someone just called her name and that big ass of hers is swinging Mr. T’s way….


Mr. T: (midflight) I……piiitttyyyyyyy…theeeeee……fooooooolllllllll……..


Slipknot are let into Grandpa-Land, and Corey begins putting on some gold. Odd, it looks like some of Mr. T’s gold….hey, he had that on before Corey shook his hand!!! Oh, well, they begin walking along, looking for something to do. They get to the “beach” for grand folks, which is simply a lake with white sand, no crabs, and no fish! Oh, and no sun or water, either. A sixty-year old comes jogging by the beach.


Grandpa Jeb: Damn kids.


Slipknot walk along, and Paul sees an old dude laying on his stomach. Paul walks over, drops some powdered Viagra onto the old guys back, and snorts it off. Slipknot then walk around looking at all the different rides. They hop on Viagra! (a fogie coaster) and the Metamucil Bounce.


Shawn: Let’s go to the water park part of this place!!!


Slipknot then walks over to the water park, and get into their bathing suits. Shawn walks into a bathing suit store, grabs a few items, and goes into a changing room. He comes out wearing some extremely tight Speedo’s. So tight, his left nad is hanging out of the right side, and his right nad is hanging out of the left side. Yep! He’s wearing them inside out! It says, “ODEEPS” on the elastic thingie!!! This showcases his new tattoo well.


Shawn: How do I look?


Lady Attendant In Store: (covering eyes) Please, just keep them. Please get out. You’re scaring our customers!


They then go on the Denture Slide. Eventually, they go into a pet shop to get something for Mick’s puppy-kitten, and they see the Crocodile Hunter.


Crocodile Hunter: (poking at Mick with a stick) Crickey! Look at this! I am completely at one with this creature!


Mick clubs Crocodile Hunter in the head with HIS stick.


Crocodile Hunter: Ow! My bootjack hurts!


Mick hits him again.


Crocodile Hunter: Crickey! That’s one aggressive creature!!!


Oh, joy. There comes Jennifer Lopez’s ass again. Bye-bye Crocodile Hunter!!!


Finally…


Slipknot meet up with their parents. Oddly enough, their parents look nothing like Slipknot, or vice versa, but Joey and Jim’s parents all have on those little Jewish hats. Jim and Joey’s parents begin conversing in Yiddish.


Shawn: Goddammit!!! What the hell are they talking about?


Jim: I don’t know. I don’t understand that language.


Joey: Me neither, but I think they just said something about how big Shawn’s ass is.


Joey’s Dad: Joey, my boy. When are you going to come for your bar mitzvah?


Joey’s Mom: Yeah, and get you a chickzah and get married?


Joey: Ma!


And On That Note, Let’s Get Outta Grandpa-Land!!!