Okay, it’s time for another Echo rant. These have nothing to do with the story whatsoever, but who cares? Okay, I couldn’t just let that damn French Fry from that Inland Valley commercial (the one with the Jay Leno chin?) get off with what little I said. So, what the hell? That is one scary mother fucker. Frankly, it doesn’t make me want to eat more if I’m imagining the damn food hopping up off the fucking table and SINGING AND KICKING to me. Makes me think of that damn frog from the WB. Okay, maybe seeing the fucking French Fry sing makes some sick people salivate, but in my personal opinion, those people also get off on screwing their moms!!! What the hell is that all about?


Okay, our story begins one day in Slipknot’s camper trailer. Shawn is sitting in the living room, as is Mick, and Jim. Joey comes running in, and jumps up into Shawn’s lap.


Joey: Daddy!!! Daddy!!!! Want to see what I got??


Shawn: Sure.


Joey hops down and bares his ass. He has little rub on fairy tattoos on his ass.


Mick: Grrrrrrr? Echo?


Mick runs over and tries to kiss Joey’s ass. Joey jumps away.


Joey: Ewwwwww….


Suddenly, the window implodes, and Echo flies in.


Echo: MMMmmmmmmmick!!!! I heard your thoughts, and came to pleasure you!!!


Echo wraps around Mick’s leg.


Mick: Grrrrrr….damn Echo Faerie….


Rain comes running in and jumps up into Jim’s lap. She wraps him up in a biiiiiiiiggg hug. Shawn grabs the remote, and turns on the television. A very uninterested face stares back at us.


Face: Hiiii. (blank stare, blinks once) I’m Ben Stein. Welcome to my show. “Win Ben Stein’s Pubic Hairs”. Wow.


Shawn: Let’s watch this.


Suddenly, Paul walks in, with cornrows in his hair, a ‘do rag on, baggy pants around his ankles, a big puffy orange coat, and a gun in the waistband of his boxers.


Rain: Paul, what in the hell do you think you’re doing?


Paul: Yo, yo, yo, whussup, foo’? I’m in a gang yo. Yeah. Wesssiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!


Rain: (laughing) What’s the name of your gang?


Paul: Yo, it be the Eastside Cribs, yo. Wessssiiiiiiiii!!!!


Suddenly, the raspberry smell that filled the air on the arrival of Echo disappears, and Crow takes over.


Crow: (looking around) What the hell? How’d I get here? And what the hell is Paul doing?


Paul: Yo, foo’ where mah bitch at? Tell dat ho she bes’ be givin’ me mah money! Wessssssiiiiiiiii!!!!!


Crow: Okay. Uh, where the hell is Corey?


Jim: Oh, uhm. He got bored, and was trying to find some new ways to whack off. As a joke, I told him to try putting sandpaper on his hand, and to use Icey-Hot as a lubricant. He went into the bathroom a few minutes ago.


Corey: (muffled) Oh, GOD that hurts!!!


Paul: Yo, yo. You wanna be in the Eastside Cribs, you gotta know their song, g! Wesssssiiiiiii!!!!!


Crow: Hmmm…playing along is fun. Okay, Paul. How does the song go?


Paul: Yo, my name ain’t Paul! It’s P-Dawg! Wessssssiiiii!!!


Crow: You’re a peeing dog?


Paul: Naw, foo’!! My name is P-Dawg!!! Yo our song be called “High, High, High”. It be go like this, g. Wesssiiiii!!!!!


“P-Dawg” jumps up on top of the television.


P-Dawg: I’m doing this tonight
And we’re gonna start a gang fight
I know this can’t be right
Hey, where is all my shit?
I fucked you endlessly
And you wouldn’t cum for me
So now it’s time to leave and go sell some crack
I know that I can’t snort no more
It ain’t no lie
I wanna be laid out on the floor
Gettin’ high, high, high


Suddenly, prep clothes appear on Jim, Joey, Mick, Shawn, Paul, Rain, and Crow, and they hop up and stand by the television.


P-Dawg: Don’t wanna be a fool for you
Just another playa in your game for two
You may hate me but it ain’t no lie
Gettin’ high, high, high


Sid, Corey, Craig, and Chris run into the room, also wearing prep clothes.


P-Dawg: Gotta show ya that I’m really tough
I just wanna tell you that I don’t like it rough
It might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie
Gettin’ high, high, high


Slipknot, Rain, and Crow begin doing the gay ass “Bye, Bye, Bye” dance.


P-Dawg: Don’t hit me with your tooth
Girl, you’re more than welcome to
So give me just one more good lay
Baby, C’mon
I lived for you and her
And now I’ve really come to see
That life would be much better with more than two
I know that I can’t take no more
It ain’t no lie
I wanna be laid out on that floor
Gettin’ high, high, high


Paul once again leads Slipknot, Rain, and Crow in the “Bye, bye, bye” dance.


P-Dawg: I’m givin’ you up I know for sure
I don’t wanna try to satisfy you no more
High, high
I’m checkin’ out, you’re gettin’ off
I don’t wanna be no loser and I’ve had enough
I don’t wanna be your fool
Ain’t no game for two
So I’m leavin’ your behind
High, high, high
I don’t really like it rough
But I’ve got to be tough
And it ain’t no lie
High, high, high
I don’t wanna be no fool for you
Just another playa, ain’t no game for two
I don’t wanna be your fool
Said it ain’t no lie
Gettin’ high, high, high
Don’t really wanna make it rough
I just wanna tell you that it’s been enough
It might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie I’m gettin’ high, high, high!
Wesssssiiiiiiii!!!!


Joey: Oh, my god!!! That dancing has gotten me sooooo horny!!!


P-Dawg walks over to Rain.


P-Dawg: Yo, bitch. Snort this right here. Wesssiiiiii!!!!!


P-Dawg hands Rain some baby powder, and she snorts it up. She then lets loose a big sneeze. P-Dawg gets a big snow storm all over.


Crow: Zoinks!!! A ghost!!! Run, Scoob!!!


Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. Corey runs over, and opens it to reveal Martha Stewart.


Corey: Ya know, you can blow my money anytime you want, baby.


Martha: Really? Wow.


Corey: Yep.


Corey unzips his pants and pulls out his dick. On his dick, he has written the word “money” with a Sharpie marker.


Chris runs over, hits Corey in the head, and let’s Martha in.


Chris: How you doin’ baby?


Chris and Martha begin making out. Chris starts slipping Martha’s clothes off. Martha begins slipping Chris’ clothes off.


Jim: Hey, Craig! There’s this black stuff that keeps falling in my face!!!


Craig: Jim, that’s your hair, dick-shit!


Jim: It iiiiiissssssss isssssssn’t it?


Suddenly, some jackasses begin cutting into the camper trailer with a handheld can opener.


P-Dawg: Oh, shit g! It’s the Butt Plugs!!!


P-Dawg flips the couch over, and jumps behind it. The Butt Plugs run up into the camper, and pull out their neon green fifty cent plastic water guns.


Shawn: Goddammit!!! Get ‘em, Mr. T!!!!


Shawn’s guard dog Mr. T, a two inch tall tea cup Chihuahua, runs out. It jumps up and bites one of the guy’s in the crotch.


A Butt Plug: Hey, yo! Look at this sweet piece of Eastside pussy over here!!!


The Butt Plug guy grabs Joey. Another squirts Shawn in the face.


Shawn: Goddammit!! That’s it!!!


Shawn pulls out the Stubby-Mobile. He opens the door, and fifty clowns and a mime jump out of the car. They all break mad on the Butt Plugs. Finally, the Butt Plugs leave. Paul then jumps out from behind the couch. Paul grabs his gun handle.


P-Dawg: Yeah. Didn’t want me to pull my piece out on yo’ ass!!! Wessssiiiiii!!!!


Paul’s gun goes off.


P-Dawg: Oh, shit!!!! Fuck!!!! Goddamn that hurt!!! Oh, damn man!!! I won’t be able to have any more Oinkberts!!!!


Crow: Ya see? That’s why you shouldn’t join a gang!!!


Shawn then pulls out a broken Snapple bottle and attempts to remove Paul’s gang tattoos.


“And just like that I’m Somewhere else!! Thank you Magic Juicy Rectum! Magic Juicy Rectum, I love to lick you!!” - Joey