Carlin and Echo finally arrive back to the center room.
Computer: ThEE DaRe oF To Be CoMPLeTe?
Carlin: Yeah, whatever.
Computer: NoW, Youuuuuuuu MuST KiSS eaCH oTHeR To GeT a BoNuS FiVe HuNDReD DoLLaRS....
Carlin: Uhm, no?
Echo sticks his tongue down Carlin's throat.
Echo: Where's my money?
Computer: Yoooooou WiLL GeT iT aT THEeEeEeE eND...
Echo: YaY.
Computer: NoW...THeHT NeXT MiSSioN....CoReY DoG MaN SaFe....BuZZ BuZZ NaViGaTe...SNoRTy DaRe....
Paul: Snort, joy.
Carlin and Echo hand Paul and Corey the equipment.
Paul: Snort! What the fuck, dude!! Mine's all sticky!
Echo: Oh... that's mine...
Paul: Fuck, man. Why's it sticky?
Echo: Uhmmm....
Paul: Nevermind... I, snort! Know...
Corey: GIMME A MINUTE AND MINE'S GONNA BE STICKY TOO!!
Paul knees Corey in the nads.
Paul: Not anymore.
Corey: Okay... so give me about an hour...
Paul: Sid, where we go?
Sid: Buzzzxxxaaah!!! Out of side!!
Paul and Corey walk out of the room and head outside.
Corey: Dude, it's hot out here.
Paul: Snort!! I'll fry!!!
Corey: Food!
Paul: No!
Paul attempts to knee Corey again. Corey moves away VERY quickly.
Corey: FUCK NO!!
Paul: Damn. Snort.
Suddenly, an extra special filming of TRL hosted by Carson Daly (AKA Thirty-some Raunchy Losers hosted by Fartsome Daily) breaks in. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! IT INTERRUPTS SLIPKNOT!! GODDAMN FAGGOTS!! SHIT!! Oh well. That's MTV for ya.... Change the goddamn channel. Shit. Oh wait!! Dude, cool! It's an episode with Corey!! This might be good!!
(Thanks to 2xtreme@fuse.net for the following part, I added a few parts, but the majority was his idea.)
Fartsome: We have a special heavy metal edition of TRL today! Our guest is going to be number 8 from Slipknot, Corey!
The crowd wonders if Slipknot is newest boy band.
Fartsome: Let's give a warm TRL welcome to Corey from Slipknot!
The crowd looks disappointed when they see Corey. Poor bastards.
Corey: What's up, New York fuckin' City?
Fartsome: Corey, you can't say that word on TRL.
Corey: Why the fuck not?
Fartsome: I just said... aw screw it. Corey, are the dreads on your mask real?
Corey: Hell fuckin' yeah!!
Fartsome: Ugh. This is gonna be a long show.
Corey notices Fred Durst sitting in the audience, and grins. Fred: Oh, no.
Fartsome: Do you know Fredrick, Corey?
Corey: Fuck, yes. I hate that pussy mother fucker.
Fartsome: Well, I love him! He's sooooo sexy!!
Corey: Gross bitch.
Corey grins at Fred again, and starts walking towards him.
Fred: Stay away from me, freak!
Fred tries to run but trips over one of his teeny-bopper fans.
12 Year Old Teeny Bopper: (jumping up and down) OMIGOD!!! FRED JUST TOUCHED ME!!! OMIGOD!! OMIGOD!!!
Corey: Shut up, bitch.
Corey karate chops the teeny bopper in the throat.
Corey: Gotcha.
Corey begins pissing on Fred Durst.
Corey: FUCK FRED DURST! FUCK FRED DURST! FUCK FRED DURST!
The crowd repeats begins chanting along, then they realize who they're talking about.
Fartsome: Corey, I understand you have a little obsession with Denise Richards. Why?
Corey: Well, just fuckin' look at her!
Fartsome: Wouldn't you rather have a piece of my dream girl, Christina Aguilera?
Corey: Hell no. you're fuckin' sick, dude. Ya know somethin' bitch? Maybe you aren't as gay as I thought you were.
Fartsome: Thanks, I think.
Corey: Yeah, you're a fuckin' flaming fucking queer, bitch.
Fartsome: Uh-huh... well, that's all for today's edition on TRL.
Corey: THIRTY-SOME RAUNCHY LOSERS!!!
Fartsome: Whatever. Will you be joining us for another edition of TRL in the near future, Corey?
Corey: Hell fuckin' yeah!!
Fartsome: Dammit. I was hoping you would say no.
The screen fades away as Corey starts pounding on Fartsome Daily.
(Thanks dude!!)
Then it goes back to Fear. It seems that all of the dares have been completed. Goddammit! Corey and Sid and singing.
Corey: Who flushed the toilet!!!
Sid: Buzzzz... who? Who? Who?
Corey: Who flushed the toilet!!!
Sid: Buzzzzxx... who? Who? Who?
Corey: What does Shawn like to do!!!
Sid: Buzzz... do! Do! Do!
Corey: What does Shawn like to do!!!
Sid: Buzzzx!! Eat poo! Poo! Poo!!
Shawn: Goddammit!
Shawn then gives Corey and Sid the beating of their lifetimes.
Twenty minutes into the beating Rain pulls off her boot and lunges it at Shawn's head.
Shawn: (rubbing his head) FUCK!! GODDAMN!!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!
Rain: They were telling the truth!! You beat them for telling the truth!!
Shawn: They... were... telling.. the... SHIT! THEY WERE!! GODDAMMIT!
Shawn begins beating on himself.
Echo: That's more interesting. Beating your own ass.
Craig types something into the computer.
Computer: YOOU!!! Are ThrougH WITH the DareS?
Craig: Yes.
Computer: OOOOOKAAAAAyyy!!! YOUUUU Arrreee Tttooo go Down inTO the BasemenT and SomEONe will SHow you WherE YOUr PRIZES aRE.
Craig: Uhm, yeah.
Mick: Grrrrr... something of else...
Mick picks the computer up with one hand and chunks it out of the window.
Mick: Grrrdamn... piece of shit...
Chris: Let's go!! Let's go!! I wanna go see Martha!! Right the hell now!!
Shawn: Alright, goddammit.
Shawn heads toward the door.
Joey: Why do you always get to lead?! I WANNA LEAD!!!
Shawn: I know the way.
Joey: Oh... good point...
Everyone follows Shawn out of the door.
Shawn: Now we go up to the attic...
Jim: Dude, we're supposed to go down, not up.
Shawn: I know a short-cut.
Jim: But... but... upstairs?
Shawn: Yeah.
Everyone follows Shawn up the attic stairs. He stops about halfway up the steps.
Shawn: Ahhh... here we go...
Shawn begins dragging his hands along the wall trying to find something.
Shawn: GODDAMMIT!!! THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GODDAMN LAUNDRY SHUTE HERE SOME GODDAMN WHERE!!!
Chris notices the laundry shute on the opposite wall that Shawn is looking at. He points it out to everyone, but Shawn.
Shawn: GODDAMMIT!! YOU BITCH!! I KNOW YOU'RE HERE!!!
Joey giggles at Shawn.
Shawn: What the hell is so funny?!
Joey: Nothing!
Shawn: Uh-huh... yeah...
Shanw goes back to feeling the wall.
Shawn: GODDAMMIT!! FUCK THIS SHIT!!!
Shawn rams his shoulder into the wall. Dust falls from the wall.
Shawn: Hmmmm. Trying to fool me, aren't you...
Shawn rams his shoulder into the wall again. The wall gives a bit.
Shawn: Ha!! Got your ass!!
Shawn continues.
Mick: Grrrr... some... thing is... of.... happen... soon...
At that time, Shawn knocks the wall down and falls through the hole, splatting onto the basement floor.
Shawn: Goddammit!!! I'm alright!
Sid: Buzzzzz!!!!! Shawn!! Master!! String broke of!!! YAY!!!!
Shawn pulls out another string.
Shawn: But I have another one.
Sid: (disappointed look) Buzzzdamn.
Craig: Let's use the laundry shute instead on the clown's way.
Shawn: Wh-what are you doing? Get your asses down here!
Joey: Coming, dattie!!
Sid: Buzzzxxx!!! Joey go of first!!!
Joey: Why me!! Why don't you go first?!
Sid: Buzzz!! Joey go! Joey go!
Sid kicks Joey into the laundry shute.
Sid: Buzzzhehebuzz.....
Joey: Damn you, Sidney!!
Sid: Buzzxxer... don't call of me that!!!
Joey rolls down the laundry shute, and lands on the concrete near Shawn.
Joey: Hi, dattie!!
Shawn: I should beat your ass!!
Joey: No!!! Why?!
Shawn: (pouting) 'Cause you... found the actual... one...
Paul: SQUEAL!!! YOU ALRIGHT, DUDE?!
Joey: YEAH!!! COME ON!!
Paul dives head first into the laundry shute.
Joey: NOOOOO!!!!!
Paul lands on Joey.
Paul: Snort, Joey?
Joey: Get your piggie ass offa me, piggie!!
Paul: Oh.
Paul stands up, but still can't find Joey!!
Paul: Dude?
Joey: Help me!!
Shawn: Goddammit.
Shawn grabs Joey and pulls him off of Paul's ass.
Joey: Damn you!!
Paul: Whoops.
Corey barrels down the shute and smashes into Paul. Paul flies into the wall.
Corey: That was fun!!! I wanna do it again!!
Corey barrels up the stairs leading out of the basement.
The remaining people come down the laundry shute, all except Chris and Mick who are fighting over who should go next.
Mick: GrrRRrrrRrr!!! You of go!!!
Chris: No, you go, bud!
Mick: GRRR!!! NO!!! YOU!!!
Chris: How about we go at the same time?
Mick: Grrrr... is of... kay... o.... with me!
So, Chris and Mick tried to go and the same time and of course they got stuck.
Chris: OWWW!!! MOVE YOUR ASS!!
Mick: Grrr.... CANNOT MOVE OF ASS!!!
Corey: Get outta the fucking way!!! Move, move, move!!!
Corey dives into the shute, which sends Chris and Mick head first into the concrete. Unconsciousness. Corey lands on his ass and begins bouncing.
Corey: More! More! More!
Corey jumps up to do it again, but Shawn grabs him by the neck.
Shawn: No. No more.
Corey: C'mon, man!! Lemme go!!
Shawn: No.
Shawn pulls out a bull whip.
Shawn: Move and I'll break your legs.
Corey sits down very slowly.
Corey: (softly) No. I'll be a good boy.
Shawn: Mmmm-hmm.
Craig: Now we're supposed to walk to the... North-West corner of the basement.
Craig starts walking.
Echo: NOOOOO!!!! WHAT ABOUT MY MICK!!! AND DILDO-NOSE!!!
Shawn: I'll wake 'em up.
As soon as Shawn turns away from Corey, he shoots up those damn stairs again.
Shawn: (stomping) GODAMMIT!!!
Shawn begins whipping Chris and Mick, in an attempt to wake them up. It works.
Mick: GrrrrDAMMIT!! FUCKING QUIT!!!
Shawn stops, because he's scared of Mick.
Shawn: Okay! Okay!
Chris: My nose!! You broke my fucking nose!!
Chris points to his dildo-nose which is flopping around with his every move.
Shawn: You can tape it.
Chris: Uhhhh....
Corey: MOVE OUTTA THE DAMN WAY!!!
Corey get a running start and dives into the shute.
Corey: HELL FUCKIN' YEAH, BITCH!!!
Corey smashes head first into the wall.
Corey: (holding his head) HOLY FUCK!!! GODDAMN!!!
Shawn: You asked for it, dude. I told you not too and---
Corey: SHUT UP!!!
Shawn: Bitch.
Shawn cracks his bull whip at Corey's head.
Corey: NOOOOO!!!!
The whip wraps around several of his dreads and rips them out.
Corey: GODDAMN YOU, YOU FUCKING CLOWN!!!
Shawn: Uh-oh.
Corey: DAMN RIGHT!
Corey jumps on Shawn, but Shawn swats him into the wall.
Corey: GOD FUCK IT!!! I'M GOING BALD NOW!!!
George: Uh, yeah. C'mere little girl!
Joey: I'm not a little girl, dammit!!
George: Sure you aren't, now come here.
Joey does, and Carlin whispers something to him.
Joey: What if I don't want to?
Carlin: Do it.
Joey sighs and walks off into the darkness.
Shawn: What did you tell my boy to do?
Carlin: Nothing.
Shawn: You lie!!
Shawn whips Carlin a couple of times.
Carlin: COME ON, DAMMIT!!
Joey: I'm coming, I'm coming...
Joey walks out dressed in a tu-tu and holding pom-poms.
Joey: You old perverted fuck.
Carlin whispers something else to Joey.
George: Got it?
Joey: Yeah, I think...
Joey begins bouncing around doing his cheerleader thing, while his tu-tu is about to fall off.
Joey: RAT SHIT! BAT SHIT! DIRTY OLD TWAT!
Joey bounces faster.
Joey: 69 ASSHOLES TIED IN A KNOT!
Shawn: What the hell are you doing?
Joey: HURRAY! LIZARD SHIT! FUCK!
Rain: YAY!!!! He did it right!!
George: How the hell would you know?
Rain: I've seen your shit on HBO Comedy like 4,000 times!! You need new shit!!
George: That's great, cock sucker.
Craig: We need to go to the North-West part of the basement, goddammit.
Craig starts walking, everyone follows.
Rain: Dude, they need those fucking chair roller things down here. That was fun.
Echo: The things that we broke the kid's arm on?
Rain: Yeah!!
Echo: Damn, we do need some of those down here!
Craig is stopped by a wall.
Paul: Snort! I think you went to wrong way!
Craig: Really, pig.
Craig turn to the left and walks that way.
Craig: Well, I think we found it... damn, that shit's fucked up!
Craig points to Miss Cleo who is holding a package of Ball Park Franks hot dogs. Why is she holding this? Because Danny Devito is standing next to her, with his dick in the pack of hot dogs, pumping away.
Rain: Well, I already don't eat hot dogs... and now I have a good reason.
Corey: (humping the eye hole to Sid's gas mask) THAT'S FUCKING NASTY, MAN!!
Danny Devito: They feel like my fingers!! They feel like my fingers!! They feel like my fingers!!
Miss Cleo: I try, honey! I try to reeeead dis mahn's tarot, and he tella meeh to hold dese hot dog's!! So, I do! And he hump-fuck of dem!!!
Danny Devito: And I put super glue on the pack, so she can't let go!! Heh! Heh!
Jim: Fucking freaks. We're supposed to come here, and see this?! This is the fucking prize shit for all that shit?
Miss Cleo: Ah, honey!!! I have of de prize!!!
Miss Cleo pulls out a butcher knife and Echo screams.
Echo: NO!!!! NO!!! NOT THAT!!! THE BITCH!! SHE CUT ME!!!
Rain: Shut up!! I didn't know what the hell you wanted me to do!!
Echo: BUT!! BUT!!! BUT!! YOU CUT ME!!
Rain: You hold out your fucking arm to me and didn't say shit!!
Echo: Oh, well... DON'T YOU CUT ME!!!!
Miss Cleo: Nah, sweetie! Youse will see!
Miss Cleo cuts the hand off that's holding the hot dogs.
Danny Devito: That's your prize!!
Danny Devito disappears, leaving Miss Cleo sitting there.
Echo: WHORE! I NOT LIKE YOU!! NEVER HAVE!!
Paul: ME EITHER! SNORT!
Echo faerie flies over to Miss Cleo and faerie fights her. Faerie fighting is pretty much fag fighting. Miss Cleo disappears also.
Corey: Fuck this. This shit sucks. I'm leaving.
Rain: Damn right.
Rain follows Corey out of the basement.
Corey: Where are we?
Rain: Outside.
Corey: Yeah, and fuck you.
Echo faerie flies out of the basement.
Echo: Don't piss her off, dude. It's evil.
Rain: Me not pissed!! Me just do this!
Rain kicks Corey in his right kidney. Corey screams.
Rain: That's fun.
Corey: DAMMIT!! IT'S FUCKING NOT!!
Rain: Is.
Corey: NOT!
Rain: Okay, I'll keep doing it until you find it fun.
Corey: Uhm... it's fun!
Rain: Yep.
Joey runs out of the basement, followed by Sid and Shawn, who is cracking his whip at Joey.
Shawn: Slow up, and let me hit ya!!
Joey: (stops running) Huh? Didn't hear ya!
Shawn's whip wraps around Joey's neck and pulls him back to Shawn.
Shawn: Got your ass.
Joey: Damn.
Joey goes to sit on the ground, but lands on a thorn brush.
Joey: HOLY FUCKING HELL!!! PULL IT OUT!!!
Shawn lays Joey over his knee and begins pulling the thorns out of his ass.
Joey: No, dattie!!! Don't use your teeth!!
Shawn: Why not?
Mick stomps out of the basement.
Mick: Grrrdamn fruits...
Mick pulls his kitty out of his shirt and starts to baby talk it.
Craig and Jim walk out of the basement.
Craig: No.
Jim: Yes.
Craig: No.
Jim: Yes!
Craig: No.
Jim: YES! Fuck, man!
Craig: No.
Jim: Hmmmm.
Jim boots Craig in the ass, which sends him flying into the bushes.
Carlin, Paul, and Chris stumble out of the basement giggling.
Paul: Snort!! Uh-huh-huh-uh... dude!! There's gaaaaas down there, man!
Carlin and Chris: Yeah!
A bit of smoke come out of the bush, followed by a glowing redness.
Rain: FIRE!
The bush is now a flaming bush with Craig standing in the middle of it. Craig panicks again.
Craig: (silence)
An extremely old man, possibly a hobo and a friend of slash, wobbles up to the bush.
Chris: (giggling) Aw shit, dude! It's---
George: It's fucking Moses, man!!
Carlin, Paul, and Chris all giggle at this.
Rain: Dude!!!!! MONEY!!!
Rain snaps a picture of the old dude and the burning bush.
Rain: I can sell that shit on Ebay!
The old man mumbles something to the burning bush.
Craig: Silence.
Old Guy: JESUS!
The old guy dives into the burning bush.
Old Guy: TAKE ME, JESUS!! TAKE ME!!!
Mick: GGGRRRRRR... how... of... he... want to be... of took?
Corey: Probably up the ass.
Craig steps out of the bush.
Old Guy: OH NO!! THAT WON'T JESUS!!! HELP!!!!
The gas wears off.
George: Ummm.... I think now is a good time to leave.
So we leave the burning bush and the crazy fuck in it, and get the fuck outta there.