*Note - You should have picked the other one. We wouldn't have even done this one, except I just had to do what's at the bottom. That's the only reason this ending was done in the first place. Why the hell do you like KoRn and Limp Bizkit more than Slipknot, anyway? Freak.
Joey: This ring ain't big enough for the both of us.
Fred: That's right. That's why I'm about three seconds from whipping your ass.
Mills: What is this? Wrestling? I don't want no talking, I want the two of you to kick each other's ass! Now, LET'S GET IT ON!!!
Joey and Fred begin battling each other with their skateboards, dueling like in a sword fight. Meanwhile, Mick has pulled out his club, and is about to knock in Sam's head! Sam darts over, and steals the club from Mick! Lethal has grabbed Jim in a headlock, and is punching him in the throat! And Sid has buzzed around John Otto until he has tied himself up with his own yarn-leash!
Joey: Man, you suck! You call this dueling?
Fred: Yo, g. I was taught how to do this by my good friend, Tony Hawk!
Joey: Omigod, Tony Hawk! He's my hero! And you said his name! You know Tony Hawk! You are fucking cool!!
Fred: Oh, shut up already.
Fred runs around the ring, picking up some speed. He then hops on his board, and kicks over to the ring ropes. He ollies up, and does his patented Bluntside Wigga Grind on it, and does a 360 Pop-Shove-It off. He lands on Joey's head. Suddenly, Fred kicks the board to do another ollie, and when the board pops against Joey's head, it goes flying off!!!
Joey's Head: (flying through the air) Help! What's up with this? Hey, Jim! Catch me, man!
Jim reaches up and grabs Joey's head out of the air. While he's doing this, Lethal runs over, and kicks him in the ribs. Jim splits in half.
Jim: Oh, you done fucked up now.
The two halves of Jim's Godzilla-On-Crack lookin' ass go over to try to double team on Lethal. But Lethal is too smart for this, and hurls them through the air. They land in the audience, just as Steven rushes out carrying a hobo can.
Steven: BEHOLD!!!! MY BOOTY JUICE CLONING DEVICE!!!
Steven rushes up to where Rain and Crow are.
Steven: LOOKIE!!!! LOOKIE!!!! ISN'T IT MAGNANIVALOUS????
Crow: Uh, uhm, yeah. What the hell do you do with that, anyway?
Rain: Ooooo hobo can!
Rain reaches over, and rips the inside part of the hobo cans out. She then plops the hobo can on her head.
Rain: OOOOOOO LOOK AT ME!!!! I'M FRED DURST!!!!! I'M SUCH AN ASS!!!!!! C'MERE JON SO WE CAN FUCK EACH OTHER UP THE ASS SOME MORE!!! I LOVE TO SUCK ON YOUR SWEET HARD COCK!!!!!
Steven: Dude, I think you broke it!
Crow: No she didn't. Check this out.
Crow reaches down and grabs a five gallon bucket. He then plops the remainder of the Booty Juice Cloning Device into the bucket.
Crow: There. All fixed.
Steven: YAY!!!! Now, give me your booty juice!!!!
Crow: What, what, huh? What the hell is booty juice?
Steven: Juice that comes out of your booty! Now, give it to me!
Crow: How the hell am I supposed to do that?
Steven: Easy.
Steven pulls out one of those breast pump things that gets the milk out.
Steven: Here, use this. Just put it on your ass.
Crow does.
Crow: Dude, this just feels weird.
The thing starts pumping.
Crow: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! GET THAT DAMN THING OFF ME!!!!!!
Steven takes it off, and Crow looks at the booty juice that has been extracted.
Crow: You're sick, did you know that?
Steven: Yes. Now, watch this.
Steven dumps the booty juice into the cloning device, and the amount of booty juice doubles.
Crow: That's amazing!
Rain: La la la....I'm Fred Durst.....
Fred: HEY!!!! WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A FIGHT DOWN HERE!!!!
Crow: Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Anyway, Wes and David have cornered Craig. They move in closer....and closer....and closer. Wes reaches behind his back.....and pulls out....several hundred BigdumbFace cd's!!!!
Wes: Dude, you're gonna die now.
Craig: (silence)
Wes starts flinging the cd's, and slices Craig into small pieces. Oh, hell. Where did Shawn and Fieldy get to? Oh, there they are. They're over by the steps. Fieldy's showing Shawn what they look like in super close-up. He's banging his fucking head into them repeatedly. Fun. Now over to Corey and Jon. Jon runs up and kicks Corey in the shin.
Jon: Take that, you big meanie!
Corey: Ow! I think that's gonna bruise!
Jon backhands Corey, and lifts him over his head. He then spins around, and tosses Corey into the ninth row.
Jon: Goddamn pussy ass son of a bitch.
Meanwhile, Head has been attempting to headbutt Chris, but the furthest he's gotten was getting poked in the eye every time. He tries again. Chris' nose shoots straight up into his eye.
Chris: You just don't learn, do you?
Head grabs Chris, and begins banging him against the guard rail. Repeatedly he bangs, until something gives. It's not the guard rail that gives, either. Chris' head just caves straight on in....
Head: Yeah, bitch.
Head hikes up the pair of Martha's panties he's wearing, and goes off to join the others. Meanwhile, Paul has been grappling with Munky.
Munky: Oooo aaahhh aaaahhh ahhhh aaahhhh aaaahhhh!!! I kill you!
Munky hops up on the ring post and hurls a coconut at Paul.
Paul: You ass. Snort!
Munky hurls another coconut, and nails Paul between the eyes.
Munky: Score!
Paul topples over backwards, dead.
Munky: Yay. I got one.
Meanwhile, Sam has continually been clubbing Mick. Mick is now a bloody pulp. The fight is almost over, can you believe it?
Carson Daly: Okay, that's enough of this.
Carson runs down to ringside with an eighteen inch knife. He then proceeds to slit the throats of all the remaining members of Slipknot.
Carson: Can't lose some of our hardest favorites on TRL, now can we?
Mills announces Korn and Limp Bizkit the winners.
Fred: Yay! Yay!
Fred begins jumping around, and stomps on Mills' foot.
Fred: Uh-oh.
Mills: You're in trouble now!
Fred begins running around, and decides to hide in the Booty Juice Cloning Device. He does, and millions of Freds start hopping out! Some of them have enormous blue balls! Fred and his clones begin walking towards the ring. Rain sees this, and quickly jerks on her Fred Durst clothing. She joins the clones.
Rain: This is gonna be fun....
Fred begins singing to the tune of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady"
Fred: Can you grab your balls like me please?
Can you grab your balls like me please?
Will the real Fred Durst please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Fred Durst please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here....
Y'all act like you never seen a wigga boy before,
Jaws all dropped on the floor
Like Lethal's mom when I called her a whore
Rollin' on the ground begging me for more
Of Freddie D, want this big part of me,
Tryin' to mount, Shove it in pull it out (ahhhh....)
It's the outbreak of the....
Clone 1: "Ah, wait no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
Fred: And James Root said....nothing you bastards! Jim Root's dead, I shot his ass in the head!
Fred pulls out his cheap water gun pistols, and begins shooting members of Slipknot with them, causing their clay to melt.
Everyone: Ha ha!
Fred: Teenagers, guys love Fred Durst
Lethal does vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga
Clone 2: "Fred Durst, I'm obsessed with him, Look at him, walkin' around with his red hat on the wrong way, waving his middle fingers in the air, chanting nookie like he just don't care"
Clone 3: "Yeah, he's so cute yo! And he's got really great hair!"
Fred: Yeah, I got a beer belly that overlaps my jeans,
But it's no worse than what my dad had by the time he was seventeen
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and fuck a goose,
But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My dick is in your ass, my dick is in your ass"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little lick
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what John Otto's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what anal intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They watch Pee Wee on Fox Family Channel don't they?
Rain: "We ain't nothing but animals..."
Fred: Well some of us animals
Who like to eat their Dannimals,
Slurp 'em up like cannibals,
Eat 'em like that Lector dude, Hannibal
But if we can hump dead animals with stethoscopes,
Then there's no reason that me and Jon Davis can't just go elope
Rain: EWWW! Sick, dude!!!!!
Fred: But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Gay men wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
Fred, Rain, and the Clones: I'm Fred Durst,
Yes I'm the real Durst
All you other Fred Dursts are just imitating
So won't the real Fred Durst please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
I'm Fred Durst,
Yes I'm the real Durst
All you other Fred Dursts just start to annoy me
So won't the real Fred Durst please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
Fred: Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about your Granny?
Half of you fans can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
Clone 1: "But Fred, what if you're gay, wouldn't that be weird?"
Fred: Why? So you guys could just film me and Jon Davis,
Getting it on in a back room,
Fucking using a broom,
'Cause dildos cost too much,
Make your ass start to gush,
Blood, it ain't pretty,
It's sticky and red,
And Jon refuses to sop it up with bread!
You little bitch, put me on blast to MTV,
Gonna get some lovin' from....
Clone 2: "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's screwing Carson Daly, hee hee!"
Fred: I should download his audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Fred Durst VD
Rain: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! GAY MAN SEX!!!! GROSS!!!!!
Fred: I love all you little girl and boy groups,
I wanted to be just like you
In high school
But couldn't, so here I am rapping like a black dude,
And people say that it's really whack, dude
But there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me,
Wear their hat backwards like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act black like me,
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Fred, Rain, and the Clones: I'm Fred Durst,
Yes I'm the real Durst
All you other Fred Dursts are just imitating
So won't the real Fred Durst please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
I'm Fred Durst,
Yes I'm the real Durst
All you other Fred Dursts just start to annoy me
So won't the real Fred Durst please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
Fred: And every single person is a Fred Durst lurkin'
He could be workin'
In a sex toy store, Trying out the vibrators and more
Clone 4: Oh, sick!
Fred: Or in the parkin' lot, circling, Screaming "I don't care if it's guys I fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Durst please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be sucking dicks and selling albums and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Fred, Rain, and the Clones: I'm Fred Durst,
Yes I'm the real Durst
All you other Fred Dursts are just imitating
So won't the real Fred Durst please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
I'm Fred Durst,
Yes I'm the real Durst
All you other Fred Dursts just start to annoy me
So won't the real Fred Durst please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
I'm Fred Durst,
Yes I'm the real Durst
All you other Fred Dursts are just imitating
So won't the real Fred Durst please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
I'm Fred Durst,
Yes I'm the real Durst
All you other Fred Dursts just start to annoy me
So won't the real Fred Durst please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
Fred: Ha ha
Guess there's a Fred Durst in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
Hmmmmm...Well....This Has Been Celebrity Deathmatch....I'm Johnny Gomez....For Nick Diamond.....Saying "Good Fight, Good Night".....