Rain: Dude, we're back!
Crow: Huh?
Rain: Dude, we're back! Get off the damn table!
Crow hops down from off the table.
Crow: Damn, and I was getting to the good part.
Rain: Dude, I think just about everyone here saw your ass.
Crow: But they didn't!
Crow hops up on the table again and moons the camera.
Crow: You like that, huh? Yeah!
Rain: Dude, someone's trying to get up here.
Crow: Huh?
Rain: There's a dude climbing up here!
Crow: Dude, that's not a dude! That's a fuckin' monkey!
Rain: Monkeys don't wear suits, dude!
Crow: Oh, my god! It's Curious George!
George Dubya pulls himself up to where Rain and Crow are.
Dubya: Hee hee hee hee...
Crow: Dude, Dubya's here! He can help us announce the next match!
Dubya: Who's in it?
Rain: Uhmm....let me see.....Jason from Metallica.....and.....Twiggy.
Dubya: My Twiggy?
Crow: Yeah. He has to fight some dude.
Dubya: I'ma kick his ass!
Dubya hops down and runs to the ring.
Rain: Hmmmm....okay.
Crow: Alright! In our second match tonight....blue corner....Jason Newsted.....red corner, Dubya and Twiggy!
Jason: Hey! No fair! How come I don't get a partner!
Mills Lane: Okay, son. Go get whatever gay lover you have, and get your ass back in the ring!
Jason runs off, and comes back with Lars from Metallica.
Mills: You are some queer looking bastards. Now, I want a good clean fight, and I don't want any of you queers to touch...
Lars: (grabbing Mills' ass) You have a sweet ass on you, don't you?
Mills: Alright, hands off gay boy. Now, LET'S GET IT ON!!!
Lars: Oh, I'll get it on with you anytime, big boy!
Dubya runs over and grabs Lars in a headlock. Dubya then proceeds to pummel Lars in the forehead.
Dubya: Mess with my Twiggy, will ya? I'll show you!
Dubya throws Lars into the corner, and charges.
Crow: Oooo oooo!!! He's gonna do his Bronco Buster!
Dubya ducks down his shoulder, and drives it into Lars' midsection. He THEN proceeds to do the Bronco Buster.
Rain: Damn that's a queer lookin' move. Why the hell would anyone do a move where they're ridin' another guy, anyway?
Crow: I don't know, but look over there!
Jason has forced Twiggy to the ground, and is sitting on his back. Twiggy is attempting to walk around on all fours.
Jason: Take this, you silly boner biting bastard!
Twiggy: I think you should get off me.
Jason: Why?
Dubya runs over and kicks Jason in the ear.
Twiggy: That's why.
Dubya: C'MON!!! FUCK WITH ME!!! I DARE YA!!!
Jason: (bleeding profusely from the ear) Oh, man! Why'd you do that? I've had enough of this. You guys win.
Mills: Where you goin' boy? Get back in here, you little wimp! This ain't no girlie man stuff, in this ring you fight to the death!
Jason: But I don't want to die!
Dubya: Too bad!
Dubya punches through the back of Jason's head and pulls out his brain.
Dubya: Bye-bye.
Jason crumples to the ground. Twiggy and Dubya turn to face Lars.
Lars: Oh, shit!
Lars turns to run, but Dubya grabs him. Twiggy pulls out his restraints.
Rain: Oh, boy! Bondage time!
Crow: Yeah! Fun!
Dubya and Twiggy proceed to strap Lars down to a metal folding chair.
Rain: Hmmmmm......
Crow: Dude, have you realized?
Rain: Mmmmmhmmmmm....
Dubya and Twiggy then pull loose some wires from around the Deathmatch ring....
Crow: Here we go....Dubya's big move....the Electric Chair!!!
Dubya and Twiggy force the wires against the chair, instantly frying Lars. The bell rings.
Mills: And the winners are....George Dubya Bush and Twiggy Ramirez!
Crow: Dude, that was fucking cool!!!
Rain: Yeah! It looked like you when that lightning hit!
Crow: Yeah! But he didn't fly across the room!
Rain: Yeah!
Rain and Crow begin laughing.
Rain: Oh, shit dude. The guy is waving again.
Rain and Crow wave back.
Dude: (whispering) Commercial!
Crow: What? Speak up!
Dude: (a little louder) Commercial!
Crow: Huh? I can't hear you!
Dude: (yelling loudly) WE HAVE TO GO TO A FUCKING COMMERCIAL!!!!
Crow: Oh. Well why the hell didn't you say so? Damn.
Rain: Dude, why do they go to commercial every time we come on scree--
Commercial Break
Okay, now go to part 3