Slipknot takes their "Give Us Your Puppy-Kittens" Tour to Pennsylvania! Oh, god! The tractor-ish thing they're ridin' 'round in breaks down in the Amish country!!! What to do?!? Visit the Amish of course!!!


Mick: Grrrrrrowwwwww!!!! What the Fuck???


Corey: Hey, dude check out that hot chick over there!!! She looks like Denise Richards!!! I'ma go get them digits!!!


Paul: Snort! Yo, who the fuck died? Everybody look like they goin' to a fucking funeral!!!


Amish Guy Named Jebediah: Oh, god Jeraldine!!! Satan has come to our happy village!! We gonna hafta runs him outta here!!! Gimme my pitchfork!!!!


Jebediah and Jeraldine round up their posse to come get 16th century on Satan's ass. Really. On their ass.


Jebediah: Take this, Satannnnnnnnn!!!!!!!


Jebediah pokes Joey in the ass.


Joey: Ow, fuck mother fucker fuck!!!!!


Joey jumps like eight feet in the air.


Joey: Oh, no!!!! I broke a nail!!!!


Joey begins whining about all the money he spent on his manicure.


Mick: Grrrrrrowwwwwwwww!!!! Grunt, grunt. Urg!!!!


Mick clubs Jebediah. Shawn grabs Jebediah's hat and sticks it on his head, and places his own John Deere hat on Jebediah's head. He then picks up Jeb's pitchfork.


Shawn: 'Mon, bitch, get some!!!


Jebediah: Git 'im, Abel-Shittim!!


Abel-Shittim: Alri'!!! I got 'er Leroy!!! C'mon, help me Zechariah!!!


Zechariah charges at Shawn. Shawn whips around, and suddenly we have an Amish rake pitchfork fight!!! Shawn takes wooden end and thumps Zechariah in the head, and then while he's still dazed, he uplifts the metal end into Zechariah's scrotum!!!!! Meanwhile, Abel-Shittim makes a mad dash at Mick, and Mick clubs him in the head. Corey walks back over with his Denise-Richards-Amish-lady-lover.


Corey: Hey, dudes! Check it out! This is Delilah! We just made like mad cow love, and now she's gonna go back with us!!!


Lucas: Hey! Get away from my pre-pubescent daughter!!!!


Lucas charges at Corey, who jerks his fly open, which allows his Johnson to fly out, poking Lucas in the eye. Corey does this to the rest of the Amish guys, letting Slipknot make their getaway.


Jim: Well, that fucking sucked!!! Our Trak-Tour is still broken, and we didn't even get any Peanut Brittle!!!!


Corey: Hey, at least I got to score with a hot 12 year old chick!!!!


Chris: (mutters) Fucking perverted ass child molestor...


Shawn: And I got this kick-ass hat and pitchfork!!!


Jim: BUT I WANT SOME FUCKING PEANUT BRITTLE!!!!!!!!!!


Chris: Dude, c'mon!!!


Chris and Jim go break into Perizzites' house. They go scrounging his cabinets, and come away with a bucket of water, four bags of Peanut Brittle, and a copy of "Big Bootied Amish Whore" magazine. As they're walking back, they run into Perizzites, who says...


Perizzites: Hey, you stole my nudie mag!!!


Perizzites makes a run at Jim, who kicks him in the head, bends him over and sticks his size forty shoe up Perizzites' ass. When he finally is able to pull it out, Chris runs over and does his Nose-Dildo routine. Then Jim and Chris high-ass it back to the Trak-Tour.