"Zac, I'm really sorry, but I can't do this" C.J said. Zac sighed and sat up.
"Why not? what's your reason this time?" He asked sarcastically. C.J sat up beside him.
"I've told you Zac. It's not that easy!" She snapped.
"What? you being raped six years ago? C.J, you found sleeping with me easy at the party... why not now?"
"Your sister was raped! That has brought back memories. You have no idea what I went through. It may seem like a long time ago, but to me it wasn't ok? excuse me for not being able to meet your sexual needs... please forgive me for not putting you first" C.J said. She turned away from him and held in tears. This was the third time the two had tried to sleep together again, but each time C.J thought about her brother ontop of her and not Zac, so she would get frightened and want to stop. At first Zac had been understanding, now his patience was wearing thin. C.J felt bad about not being able to satisfy Zac, but she couldn't stop the image of her brother coming into her mind. C.J heard Zac sigh. "Maybe we should break up... so you can find a better sex partner" She said.
"C.J, don't be stupid. I'm not going to break up with you just because you find it hard to sleep with me. I know you'd find it hard to sleep with anyone" Zac said, hoping he had said the right thing. C.J turned to face him.
"You don't want to break up?" She asked. Zac shook his head.
"No. I don't. C.J, I love you. You're the only girl I've ever loved, even when I thought you were dead, I loved you and no one else... you wouldn't believe how much I missed you and now that I have you back, I want to be with you in every way I can. I don't want to have sex with you just for the sake of having sex. I want to do it because we would be making love.". Finally C.J smiled.
"You are such a suck up" She said. "But it's working."
"That's good then." Zac said, smiling at her. "You didn't say three certain words yet."
"What? yeah I said 'you're a suck" C.J said. Zac laughed and then stopped himself.
"Hey! you were meant to say I love you" He said.
"Well, that's sweet, I love you to Zac" C.J said, giving Zac a huge smile. Zac couldn't help but smile back at her.
"Jess, just ignore them ok?" Carly said, trying to help her friend. Jessica was now back at school, and thanks to the new's report, everyone knew what had happened to her. As she walked down the hall, people stopped and stared at her and some stood by lockers and whispered about her as she walked past. The only person to treat her like a human being was Carly. Even Coldan had been keeping his distance and Jessica couldn't figure out why. Even though she had Carly, Jessica still felt very alone.
"Easier said than done" Jessica mumbled after walking past two girls and hearing them say her name and pointing at her. Jessica walked with her head down to her locker and then threw her books inside.
"Jess, I feel really bad that I can't do anything for you... " Carly started. Jessica shook her head.
"You can Carly... you can be my friend... and be there for me when I need you ok?" She asked, giving her best friend a small smile. Carly smiled back.
"Sure... anything" She said. The girls hugged.
"I just have to go to the bathroom ok?" Jessica said. Carly nodded and then headed to the gym, they were having a lunch time cheerleading practise. Jessica couldn't partisipate, she was still sore, but she could watch the other girls. Jessica walked to the nearest bathroom and then went into a cubicle. She didn't need to go, but she wanted to be alone for a while. She heard the bathroom door open and the laughter of two girls.
"Have you even seen her today? You can just tell that she asked for it" One girl said.
"Oh I know, I was talking to Elliot the other day and he told me that she was preactcically begging him to take her upstairs, so when he does, she accuses him of rape! The little slut" The other girl said. Jessica bit her lip to keep from crying out, she knew she had to stay quiet and listen to what the girls had to say about her. "Elliot said she was a bad fuck anyway, apparently all she did was just lay there and let the boy's do all the work... she didn't even make it fun for them"
"What? My god this girl is psyco! I mean, you don't ask someone to fuck you and then just lay there.. Oh well, I'll give Elliot what he needs tonight anyway.. make up for the bad night he had with Jessica Hanson". The girl said her name like it was poison, she just spat it out. Jessica felt hot tears run down her cheeks. The girls started to talk about something else and then they finally left the bathroom.
"Jess? Honey, what are you doing home so early from school?" Mrs. Hanson asked her daughter when she walked through the front door an hour early. Jessica shrugged.
"I don't want to go back there. I want to be homeschooled again" She said.
"But Jess, you begged us so much to be able to go to a public school, now you want to be homeschooled again? what about all your friends?"
"What friends? After what happened to me, everyone stares at me like I'm some sort of freak! It's like they're blaming me for what happened! Carly's the only one who's stuck by me at school and treated me like a normal person!. Even at home you guy's tip-toe around me like I'll break if you touch me or something! All I want to do is forget what happened but you wont let me! Talk about it Jess, it'll make you feel better Jess. Well you know what? I don't want to talk about it. Fuck talking about it!" Jessica yelled. She then turned and fled to her room, leaving a stunned Mrs. Hanson sitting at the kitchen table.
"I'm to fat" Jaymi announced, sitting down at her kitchen table. Isaac had come to visit her after work but he had found her in a crabby mood. Warning bells went off in Isaac's head. He had heard his mother say that to his father every time she had been pregnant and his father only sometimes just barely escaped having things thrown at him. Isaac racked his brain for something to say.
"Jaymi you're not fat, you're pregnant. You're stomach is firm... a fat stomach is flabby... ok honey?" He said. Jaymi looked down at her ever growing stomach and smiled. She was now nearly three months pregnant and you could tell to, as Kayla had told her numerous times. Kayla was the only one who could get away with calling Jaymi names. The others had soon found that out.
"Jay! let me feel your tummy!" C.J cried, bursting into the kitchen. Jaymi laughed as C.J sat in the chair beside her and placed her hand on Jaymi's stomach. "Ohh! the baby's moving! Ike! feel this!" C.J squealed as she grabbed Isaac's hand and put it on Jaymi's stomach. Isaac smiled when the baby kicked his hand. Jaymi smiled at Isaac.
"Can you believe we're gonna be parents?" She asked him. He shook his head. C.J got up from the seat she was sitting in as Isaac started to kiss Jaymi and walked out of the room. "Ike? what's gonna happen after the baby's born?" Jaymi asked.
"You and the baby will come live with me.. " Isaac said.
"I know, but are we going to get married or what? I don't want our child growing up with un married parents"
"Well, do you want to get married?"
"Not if you don't" Jaymi said, hoping Isaac would say what she wanted to hear.
"Well, it's up to you Jaymi.. if you want to get married then we'll get married, if you want to wait then I'll be happy to wait until you're ready." Isaac didn't like the look on Jaymi's face. He knew he had said something wrong.. he had yet to figure out what that was. Jaymi soon told him.
"What! and what is that supposed to mean? it's up to me.. if I want to get married? so you're saying that you don't really want to.. and that if I do then you will if you have to?"
"Huh? Jaymi no.. thats not what I'm saying at all. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you! I'm just saying, I'll wait until you feel ready to make that commitment. If I had my way, we'd have been married yesterday!" Isaac said, hoping he had saved an argument between the two of them.
"How could we have been married yesterday when you haven't even asked me yet? all we've done is talk about getting married.. you haven't proposed to me properly!" Jaymi cried. Isaac was silent. Jaymi sighed and got up.
"I'm going to see Kayla, she said she would take me to the doctors for a check up. I'll see you later." She said, kissed him on the cheek and left. Isaac knew she was upset with him. He just wasn't positive on what he had said wrong.
Jessica wiped her eyes. She had just been sobbing for the past hour and she had no tears left. She turned on her T.V to try and cheer herself up, but there was nothing but news reports on. She didnt want to risk seeing another report about the rape so she swithched the T.V off. It was then she realised the house was quiet. She opened her bedroom door and walked downstairs. The house was empty. Jessica found a note on the kitchen counter from her mother.
Jess,
Didn't want to bother you, I have taken Mackie, Avie and Zoe to the mall. I'll bring you something home for dinner.
Love Mom.
Jessica screwed up the note and threw it across the room. She jumped when the shrill ring of the phone filled the house with noise. When her heart came down from her throat, Jessica answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hello? who is this?" A voice asked.
"Who are you?"
"A friend, watch out Jess.. he's coming for you.. and this time you wont get away."
"What? who are you?!" Jessica didn't wait for a reply, she slamed the phone down. Breathing deeply she ran up to her room and locked her door. It was then that the tears sarted to flow.
Chapter Nineteen
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