September 2nd 2001
Dear Diary
What's the point anymore? I hate whats happening between Zac and I but I can't break it.. I have tried.... oh how I have tried.. but I can't. Every time I go to talk to him I get visions from the hospital room and the night Justin messed me up.. and I get scared and angry.. I mean, he went behind my back and beat up Justin when I told him not to.. but he didn't listen to me did he? NO! I miss him so much.. sure, I have Grace... but it's not the same.
Sometimes I think about what would have happened if I didn't have Zac... that night with Justin... I probably would have ended up in a ditch somewhere... or maybe even dead.. I don't know what to do anymore.. I really don't....
Zac leaves in 2 days..... I haven't talked to him for three weeks....I saw him today though, he, Ike and Tay gave a mini concert for family and friends. Mom and Dad practicaly dragged me there.. I didn't want to see him, let alone hear him sing........... but my god he sounded beautiful... his voice filled my heart like angels singing.... geez, now I'm sounding corny.. sorry about that.. but it's true. Zac sang for me. He sang Save Me... my favorite song of theirs. He sang it with so much feeling and passion I've never heard in his voice before.. I just sat there bawling my eyes out, I wanted to leave but for some reason I couldn't... Zac's eyes were fixed on mine and it was like I couldn't move. So much inside me was yelling at me to go to him, tell him I forgive him..... but... do I forgive him??... Do I forgive him for going behind my back and nearly killing Justin... for getting Justin to leave me alone.... for taking me to the hospital.... for being there when no one else was??.........
For Saving My Life?
My god... I do.... I forgive him.... I really do... I...I...
I Love Him.
Chapter Fifteen- Last Chapter!!
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