Oh, notice Amir. He is in space. He is on Mars. He is looking for Jay's family. Now, notice Paige. He is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY out in space. He is on the planet abadamtulabiza in the galaxy tuvulabiniatu. He should check for my family while he's there!!!

It had to happen. Orgy came to visit my cousin, and I went over to her house. I was able to get an interview with them, and here it is!!!

Me: Hey, guys!
Jay: Hello. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Bobby: Hey!
Paige: What's up!
Ryan: Huh?
Amir: Who the hell are you? And where the hell is "Rough Cutt"?
Me: Oh, uh, they went home. You're here with this group Orgy now.
Amir: Oh. Who the hell is Orgy?
Me: Well, these guys. One of, if not THE, best band out there today.
Amir: Oh.
Ryan: Huh?
Me: Okay. Let's get to the questions now. Uhm, I guess one thing everybody wants to know is, what's your favorite non-alchoholic drink?
Ryan: NON-ALCHOHOLIC??? YOU MEAN, NO BEER??? WE HAVE NO BEER??? (panics, and passes out)
Paige: Dude, you killed Ryan!!!
Me: No, he'll be okay. We better get an ambulance though.
We get an ambulance. They arrive, and get Ryan snapped back to his senses. During this, I go and give Paige a tongue bath. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.....
Me: Okay, back to the question. Favorite non-alchoholic beverage. DON'T PASS OUT RYAN!!!
Paige: Jolt Cola. It's always good for getting hyper!!
Jay: Uhm, water. Pure and envigorating. It quenches my thirst rapidly.
Amir: (dumbfounded by Jay) Whuh?
Bobby: Well, uhm, uh, never mind mine.
Amir: Uh, what was the question?
Me: Never mind Amir. How about you Ryan? What's your favorite non-alchoholic drink?
Ryan: Beer!!!
Me: Uhm, okay. Uh, next question. What's your favorite alchoholic drink?
Ryan: Beer!!!
Paige: Everclear.
Ryan: That's a band, dumbass!!
Paige: It's also a drink. (mumbling) Is Everclear really a band???
Amir: Tequilla
Bobby: Hard liquor.
Jay: Vodka is that which perpetuates my existance.
Ryan: What the hell he say?
Paige: Dude, he said vodka helps him to live.
Ryan: Oh. Why does he use big words?
Bobby: It makes him feel smart. Otherwise, he'd get depressed about himself and commit suicide. Which would mean, we'd have no singer, and would no longer be able to make albulms.
Paige: But, without Jay, we wouldn't have money!
Ryan: NO MONEY??? WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET ANY BEER!!! OH, NO!!! (again panics, runs out of the house, and stocks up on beer.)
Me: Okay, this is getting out of control...I think we should stop this interview now.
Paige: Dude, I'm sticky from where you gave me that tongue bath....
Disclaimer: Don't believe all this. It never happened. Yet.