Brian was never as happy as he was when he was with her and the time they had together flew by in a constant state of intoxication. Although every second with her was forever burnt into his mind some moments were clearer than other, especially one night...
It was late at night as Brian and Ellie walked hand in hand along a sandy beach, close to the water’s edge. The light from the moon and the billions of sparkling stars covering the dark sky reflected in the calm water. It was so peaceful, like no one else except the two of them even existed and they walked slowly talking about anything and everything. Every once in a while they stopped just for a kiss or a hug before they continued. Wordlessly Ellie slipped her hand into his and squeezed gently. As always whenever she touched Brian his heart made a jump inside his chest
"Brian, look." She halted suddenly and stared up at the starry sky where a shooting star made it’s way towards the horizon. "Isn’t it beautiful?"
"Yes," he replied as he studied her delicate profile and the way her eyes shone with happiness. It sure was beautiful.
"Brian, you’re not looking at it," Ellie said with amusement playing in her voice as she turned to meet his gaze.
"No, I’m looking at you." She blushed and once again turned her eyes to the stars, smiling shyly. As well as she was his girlfriend she was also his best friend ever, his twin soul. He could tell her everything and she would understand, but most often he didn’t even have to say a word. She would know and understand anyway. It was a thing about her. He couldn’t quite explain it but it was like she could read his feelings and thoughts just by looking at him. She could see his heart, mind and soul and she was the only one who knew him better than he knew himself and he loved her for it. And then, the words just came out of him before he had really thought them.
"Ellie, I love you," he whispered softly. Almost too soft for her to hear it, but she heard and she turned and stared at him. Was he kidding? Love her? No… But he looked so serious, and his intense eyes looked into hers.
"What?" she croaked out finally.
"I said I love you. With all of my heart, I love you."
God knows how many tears Brian had cried for her. There were so many he thought it wasn’t possible for him to cry anymore, that he wouldn’t have any tears left. But somehow he managed to find some and he shed them too. Soundlessly they spilled down his cheeks and mixed with the rain. He hadn’t even noticed the soft autumn rain that had begun to fall around him. Cold and gray. But then again, wasn’t everything? Every breath he took reminded him of the pain in his broken heart and within him a feeling grew stronger and more frightening. It didn’t matter if he tried to ignore it; it was still there. He didn’t want to live anymore and it scared him. When he no longer believed in life how could he believe in anything at all?
If only he could change the past. If only he could have turned back time and make it undone. Then he and Ellie would never even have gone outside that day, not have gone in to that stupid store at that exact time. But they did and for as long as Brian would live he wished with all of his heart they hadn’t…
"Ok, what do we need?" Brian asked Ellie as they stepped in to the little local grocery store that warm Saturday afternoon. It was actually cooler indoors than it was outside that day.
"Um… it wasn’t that much I think," she replied and picked up a shopping-list out of her pocket. Brian watched her as she read. Little did he know what was going to happen next, that the end of her life was so close.
