Bri heard his cell phone ringing and groaned, he didn't feel like speaking to anyone. He reached over and picked it up. "Littrell."
"Hi B, it's Han."
"Oh hey Han."
"Look would you mind staying somewhere else tonight? Lis isn't feeling well and I've gotta run out of town so I was hoping maybe I could get one of the girls to stay with her."
Bri looked over at a sleeping Shan. "Sure I think I can find a place to stay no problem."
"Thanks. I think it's just the flu but wouldn't want both of you to catch it."
"That's for sure. Thanks for calling."
"No prob, night B."
"Night Han." He clicked his phone off and laid back down next to Shan.
Han looked over where her sister was walking out of her bathroom in a football jersey. Lis crawled into bed. "Did anyone get the number of the semi?" she joked.
"Yeah 012880, Nick Carter."
Lis pulled the pillow over her head. "Not you too."
"I'm just saying I think he rattled you." Lis mumbled something under the pillow and Han moved it away. "What?"
"I said he did more then rattle me. Now kindly give me back my pillow." Lis reached for it but Han pulled it away.
"I know I could seriously regret asking you this but what do you mean?"
"I mean...maybe I uh realized me and Bri aren't what I thought we are."
"Okay now you're just being cryptic." Han said sitting on the edge of the bed.
Lis rolled her eyes. "Maybe I don't love B all right?"
"You've seen the light!" Han stated smiling warmly at her sister.
"Oh man... look I'm still going to marry him so don't get your hopes up."
Han gave Lis a look that clearly stated she thought she was crazy. "Excuse me? You're gonna marry a man you clearly don't love."
"I knew you wouldn't understand." Lis grabbed the pillow and rolled over.
E smiled at Nick from the doorway. "What?" he whispered, walking out into the hall closing his bedroom door.
"Nothing you're just a very good dad."
"Really? You think so?" Nick asked, heading downstairs.
"I do...and I also think Lis is still in love with you."
"What did you do?" he asked, sitting on the couch.
"I went outside and talked to her, everything she said about being over you sounded like she was convincing herself, and she was failing miserably."
Nick sighed, twirling his wedding band around his finger. "Then why...she's too damn stubborn."
"That coming from the King of Stubborn." E laughed.
Han stepped inside of Lis' room, suitcase in hand. "I'm going now, Seth is gonna be here any minute. You sure you don't want me to get one of the girls to come and stay?"
"I'm fine I swear."
"Okay then, I'll call when we reach the Keys."
"Have fun." Lis called as she heard the front door being shut. She sighed and sat up, realizing she wasn't tired. She spent a few minutes wandering around the room, trying to think of something to do that would keep her mind off things. Her eyes stopped on the tv cabinet and she smiled, "Perfect" she said to herself as she slid the tape in the vcr.
~~ Hours later ~~
Shan woke up and rolled over, surprised to find Brian laying there staring at her. "Hi." she said shyly.
"Hey, sleep well?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbow.
"Never better." Shan smiled softly. "I didn't think you'd still be here."
"Han called, Lis isn't feeling well so I thought I'd stay here tonight."
"She okay?" she asked worried.
"Just the flu. I'm sure she'll be fine."
Shan nodded. "I'll go check on her in the morning."
"Sounds like a good idea." Bri leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Shan?"
"Hmm?" she rested her head on his chest.
"I think I just realized...maybe I was never in love with Lis."
Shan stared up at him startled. "What?"
He ran his hands through her hair. "Nick was my best friend and when we lost him, she was the only real link I had to him and vice versa. I guess we were using each other to keep him around. Does that make any sense?"
She nodded. "More than you know...and I think you're probably right."
He smiled down at her. "Good, because I think I am."
Nick pulled into the driveway and looked in the backseat, he could hear the shallow breathing of his son indicating sleep. He smiled to himself as he jumped out and opened the back door, taking his son out. He let himself inside the house and carried Michael upstairs, setting him down in his crib. He set Michael's bags down on the little table and looked across the hall, hearing the sound of muffled voices coming from Lis' room. Quietly he tiptoed across the hall and opened the door slightly, seeing Lis asleep on the bed hugging his old stuffed bear. Nick's eyes froze on the tv screen, there was the first video he'd made of the two of them.
~~ Flashback ~~
Nick pulled Lis off the tour bus and into the arena. "Lis look at the camera."
"Nuh uh." she said laughing, pulling her Orlando Magic baseball hat down lower.
"Lissy! C'mon please." he pouted as he walked backwards in front of her.
"Nicky no!" she sped up and walked around him.
"Hey for someone's first time in the back of the arena you know where you're going pretty well."
"I'm following AJ." she smiled and ran ahead, catching up to AJ who was talking on his cell.
He clicked his phone off and smiled. "What's going on Blondie?"
"Nick." Lis replied.
AJ nodded, wrapped an arm around her waist and turned them both around. "Hey Nicky, wasting more time behind your camcorder huh?"
"Not wasting time. Trying to make a vid for Lissy but she's uncooperative." he pouted.
AJ laughed. "Little bro's using big words. C'mon Lis wave to the camera maybe he'll stop hassling ya."
"Yeah Lissy wave to the camera." Nick said, zooming in.
"Fine." Lis waved and hurried away from them but tripped over a cord. "Okay, ouch." she said as she watched the guys walk past her laughing. Nick waved as he walked by. "Carter! Come on..." she yelled, as he shook his head and walked by her. "I knew I should never have dated a Backstreet Boy."
Nick stopped. "What? What did you just say?"
"I said, I never should have dated a Backstreet Boy...maybe a nice hockey player or a..." she trailed off as he handed AJ his camcorder and walked over to her, picking her up. "What are you doing?"
He grinned. "Helping a lady in distress."
"Someone save me." she laughed.
"I believe I just did." he teased.
"I meant from you."
"Ouch, that went straight through my heart..." he dropped her on the sofa in the dressing room and clutched his chest. "I'm wounded, in fact I may never love again."
"Uh oh you've done it now Lis, he's gonna be in goofball mode all day." AJ said laughing as he sat down on the opposite couch.
~End Flashback~
Nick watched the tape end and turned the television off. He remembered that day perfectly, over the last year he'd relived practically their entire relationship. He turned and looked at the woman asleep on the bed. "Why don't you see this is how it should be?" he whispered as he kissed her forehead. In her sleep Lis rolled over and sighed. He shook his head and looked around the dark room for a moment before heading downstairs. Nick decided he'd wait until she was up to leave, he didn't want Michael's crying in the middle of the night to startle her. Nick grabbed his backpack from the landing and went into his office, still amazed she'd kept it the way he'd had it.
Lis rolled over and stared groggily at the alarm clock until the neon green numbers became clear, 2:22 a.m. She yawned and looked around, the tv was off. "Don't remember shutting it off." she said, crawling out of bed. Lis sighed, and headed into her bathroom to get a drink of water. It was after midnight and he still hadn't brought their son home. She leaned against the tile counter and looked in the mirror, staring in disbelief at her reflection for a few minutes. The person staring back hardly resembled her at all.
Nick heard her get out of bed from his office and he smiled, thankful the walls between the office and their bedroom were so thin. He set down his notebook and walked from the room. He stopped seeing her looking in the mirror in the bathroom. Quietly he sat on the bed and waited till she came out.
Lis took a final look in the mirror and decided she needed to do something. She'd never looked that bad when she was pregnant with Michael. She filled the glass with water and headed back into the bedroom, staring in surprise at Nick sitting there.
"Uh hi..." she said shyly, barely glancing at him.
"Hey, you okay?" he asked, feeling worried.
Lis set the glass down on the table on fell back on the bed. "Course. Why wouldn't I be?" her voice started to break.
Nick turned to face her. "Because you're miserable?"
She lifted her head to look at him. "How can I be miserable? I'm marrying a man who loves me in a week, he loves my son...we have a great relationship..."
"You're not happy L...Everyone but you sees that."
"Maybe I just realized that." she whispered.
"Lis..." He looked at his hands, his eyes on his wedding band. "I talked to Shan...you came by the other night?"
"No I uh just stopped by but you didn't answer the door so I left..."
Nick crawled next to her and laid down. "So then the gate slamming..."
Lis looked at him. "Look Nick it's been a year you can move on with your life..I did and I uhm..."
He looked down at her. "Lissy didn't you see that tape I made two days ago? I want you back...I've never even looked at any other woman. You're it, you've always been it."
"Nicky, please...don't."
"Listen Lissy, we, us, you and me and Michael deserve the chance to be a family. I know you still love me."
Lis sighed, silently cursing Shan and her big mouth. "I'll always love you Nick but we've been over a long time."
Nick groaned and rolled on his side, "Look I don't know who this is here Lis, but it's not you. What happened, did you die on me? Where are you?" He watched as her eyes filled with tears and she rolled away from him.
'Trapped, I'm trapped.' she said silently. "This is the new me Nicky."
He inched closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "I bet right now the old Lis is still in there, wanting nothing more than for everything to be the way it was." he whispered.
A sob caught in her throat, "Why can't you just leave it be?" she whispered.
"Because I love you. You didn't leave me be and I'm not going to let you go." he kissed her neck. "Michael's asleep in his crib. I'm gonna go, I think you need to be alone...but I'll be back tomorrow okay?"
She nodded, wiping away her tears. "Night Nicky."
He smiled as he climbed off the bed, if she was calling him Nicky that was a good sign. "Night Lis."
