I carried Tristan inside our house and put him to bed. I changed into my pyjamas and I was so upset, that I didn’t feel like sleeping. I went downstairs and checked the caller ID and my answering machine. The only person who had called was Shay. Not that I didn’t love to hear from her, but there was only one person in the world I really wanted to hear from at the moment, but I probably wouldn’t ever speak to him again. I picked up my cordless telephone and walked into the living room to sit down.
“Hello?” Shay answered.
“Hey, did I wake you?” I asked.
“No, you didn’t. I was just lying in bed reading a magazine. How did things go tonight?” she asked interested.
“We broke up,” I blurted out, staring blankly at my television set that I had muted.
“You what?! Why?” she questioned, raising her voice slightly.
“Nick told me that he wasn’t ready to be a daddy to Tristan. So, I told him that I was going to take the job in LA and he didn’t try to stop me,” I told her.
“So, you’re taking the job?” her voice lowered as I heard the disappointment.
“Yeah…I guess so. I mean, what’s here for me in Florida? If I go to LA, I can get away from Craig, and this house, and all of my memories…” I explained.
“Is that what you really want? You would be moving away from where you grew up, your friends, and you would be moving Tristan away, too,” she said seriously, bringing out good points.
“I know, I know…” I sighed, resting my head on a pillow.
“Well, just think about it carefully and don’t make any big decisions right away, ok?” Shay’s voice comforted me.
“Okay, I won’t,” I said smiling. “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow. Night!” I walked into the kitchen and put my phone back on its stand.
I sat down at the kitchen table and rested my head in my hands. I had an awful headache, and a million thoughts were zooming through my head. I closed my eyes and all the memories of the past week or so ran through my head. The strange sense of déjà vu that I was always feeling had decided to return. Pictures of Nick and I on our first date flashed in my mind, then images of me rummaging in the attic, looking through my old Backstreet Boys memorabilia, pictures of Nick singing with Tristan and I outside and of us at the park earlier all ran through my mind. I thought about how happy we could’ve been and then I just broke down into tears. After about 10 minutes of constant sobbing, I decided I should go outside and get some fresh air to help clear my mind. I grabbed some bottled water out of the refrigerator and walked outside in my pyjamas. It’s a good thing I don’t have close neighbors, I suppose. I took a sip of my water and sat down on the steps outside my house. I was looking out into the dark woods and up into the clear blue sky that was illuminated by the stars thinking about everything that was going on in my life and the decisions I needed to make when a pair of bright headlights shone into my eyes.
