I sat on my bed watching TV, totally depressed.

Although I loved music, MTV made me feel sad. All they played was beautiful, skinny blond girls dancing around, singing about how they loved some guy. I was so jealous of them. They had it all, looks, guys, happiness...

It was kinda stupid really. I was eighteen, finished school and lived in a beautiful house with a rich father who could buy me whatever I wanted. But material things didn't matter. One thing money couldn't buy was happiness and love, something I lacked.

I heard the door slam; I went to my window and saw my dad off to a business meeting. I was alone again. I always seemed to be alone, i didn't have any friends. I once got myself a dog for company, but it scratched our furniture so my dad sold it. "If only I had someone who actually cared about me," I said to myself, turning up the volume as a good song came on the TV.

But for me it was hard to make friends. At school I had been a loser. Not because I was nasty or weird, as I wasn't. I had low self confidence so that made me an easy target for bullies, and I cried easily so that made them worse. From elementary school through to when I graduated recently, I'd been the nerdy rich kid with no friends that everyone laughed at. Maybe it was cuz I wasn't into fashion; everyone dissed my clothes, maybe it was my outspoken attitude, when I stuck up for what I believed in. Maybe the kids were just jealous that I was from a rich family.

Not that I liked being rich. I was grateful for living in a nice house with a lot of expensive things, but I didn't have the love and affection that most people get. My father had no time for me, I never knew my mom and I had no siblings.

I'd never had a boyfriend either. I was too ugly for one probably. Some popular girls had nicknamed me Jess the Mess because I looked a state. I had an OK figure, but I had breakouts on my face due to stress and my hair was always frizzy and straw-like. Who'd wanna date someone who looked as shitty as me?!

I glared at my reflection in my mirror, hating what I saw. I threw the mirror across the room in anger, crying.

I dried my tears on the sleeve of my baggy sweater. I couldn't sit around moping in my room all day. I had colleges to look at.

I got out my college guide and went through it, making off places I would look at. I wanted to go to college soon but I didn't know where. One thing I knew was that wherever I went, I'd make a fresh start. I didn't want to be Jess the Mess any more.

Well to tell the truth, I didn't want to go to college. I was sure that I'd be an outcast again. I didn't know what I wanted to do... well above all, I wanted to have fun. I'd had such a dull life and wanted to be happy, go out and meet guys.

I put the college guide down and watched MTV. A Backstreet Boys song was on. I smiled, they were a great group. And I had briefly known Nick when I was younger, as we had been at the same elementary school. He'd been really nice back then and seemed nice still. Plus, he was really hot! If only I could have a boyfriend like him..

Then a girl group came on, singing a song about partying with guys. the video showed the girls at a club eying some hot guys. I was so jealous of them! It got me thinking... I should try that. Go to a club, well, make myself pretty first, and get a boyfriend. I never went out, and it was about time I got a life.

Plans started forming quickly in my mind. Yes! I could get some money from my father, buy some sexy clothes, get good makeup and sort my hair out...

A smile spread across my lips. That was a good idea...

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