| My heart cries for the pain I have caused, to myself, to the ones I love. I push them away, and then I wonder why all day they don’t jock me The ones I love do not comprehend the way I am because to them I remain an enigma. I can not, will not, subject anyone else to the pain that I feel within my heart and soul. My solitude weighs a heavy toll. Why may you ask I let myself suffer? I lie and tell myself that it makes me tougher. Which puts out another buffer, Between me and the world. For what I have experienced, I thought that it was normal. That was until now, the shit it hit me like pow! Self pity is what this is called, but myself is what I have mauled, by the ordeal that I have walked, always kept my mouth shut, I hardly talked. But someday, somehow. I must let someone see the person that I am, For this upcoming test I must all night cram. But how can one prepare for the test I must take. Will I buckle, will I break? This will tell me who I am, what model and make. In the oven of life is where I will bake, I will rise up like a cake, my past is what I will shake. I will tell the one I love that my heart yurns for her. That I will be in myself complete if I have my own love. |