| Once on a warm, sunny day I was walking up Lexington Avenue and rounded the corner headed up to
Broadway. My destination was a little coffee house called Beanstreets. As I reached it I thought for a second and I
reached into my pockets to see how much money I had on me. I dug deep into my right, left, and back pockets to
sumise the amount of money I could spend. As I was counting the sparse amount of change in my pockets, my friend
Jeremy came up to me and challenged me to a game of chess. This was a fair challenge because Beanstreets provided
an ample arena because they had a second rate chess set; all of the pieces were mixed with different sets and the
board was mounted on an old table stand. It had a very weathered, rustic look to it. Naturally, as any manly man
would and could do, I accepted the challenge. “There is a chess table in here.” I said as I wiped my brow. “Let’s go
in and get out of this sun.” Undoubtedly the summer had been a hot one and this was one of the hottest days yet. As
we both preceded to enter the establishment, we bumped into each other. Hurriedly I backed up and curtsied and
opened the door for Jeremy and said in a mockingly manner, “Forgive me Sir.” In his best Godfather voice he
replied, “Ah, that’s the game huh?” I simply smiled back and said in a grotesque, falsetto voice, “Let’s take it to the
mattresses.” Upon entering the eggplant colored door in tow of my unsuspecting prey, I made my way to the counter. On
which was a sign that clearly stated that if you wished to rest awhile, you must buy a cup of joe. I ordered an Italian
fizz and a piece of crumb cake. What was weird though was the guy that was taking my order was the same guy I
failed my french class with. Of course I had to utter a few obscenities in french, have a good reminiscent laugh, and
then it was off to the death match. Thinking of that moment now, I feel I was a little too bit confident, but I knew that
today was my lucky day because I heard my favorite song come on: It is a swing song performed by Alien Fashion
Show and the song is called Oaktree. I love the soft jazz sound to it with the lyrics. It’s amazing. The lyrics are
simple yet awe inspiring. As I walked up to the table, at which Jeremy had already, hastily, started to set up. I was
singing along with the song:
And I . . . Watch you sleep, I know all the naughty, little secrets that you keep, ‘Cause I’m the old oak tree. . .”
Agitated Jeremy said impatiently, “Will you stop singing that stupid song and get with it?” . I shot him an
impish smile and made my routine first move. He made his, and I mine again. Within the next few conforming moves
that were to be silly excuses for strategy, I was lulled into a distraction with my crumb cake and Italian fizz. As any
goodly man, Jeremy was able to take advantage of my distraction and devastate my strategy. A swift shift of a knight
here and a thundering crash of the rook as it fell on my weak pawns. No need to worry though, cause I was in good
spirits with my favorite song, food, and beverage. I was comforted in a shaded, cool area. I was with my best friend
and I was enjoying myself. I wasn’t going to let this simple defeat ruin my new found contentment. After I submitted to the dirty Jew, Jeremy leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head and
said, “We’re going to the mattresses, eh?” I lifted one of my eyebrows and looked at him sideways and shrugged my
shoulders. “Patience my son, patience. All good things come to those that wait. Oh, my lucky charms. Their
magically delicious. Oh I’ll make a boat and sail away.” I smiled as I tried to use my best Irish accent to shine the
sucker. During the time of my mirth and amusement, Jeremy was able to set up the battle ground for another battle.
As I cleared my throat I said, “Forgive me, I can’t help myself sometimes.” The battle raged on and our camps both were nulled to almost none. I had my king, my queen, a knight, and
three pawns. He had his king, a knight, a rook, and four pawns. We were almost at tooth and nail at each other and
taunting each other with movie cliches. But, luck must have smiled on me because he made a very, very careless
mistake: he moved his queen up into my kingdom to assert pressure on me. I, undaunted, on the other hand, seeing
this weakness in his defense that this charge allowed me, took advantage and swiftly took his rook and his king was
in sight of checkmate. I slowly looked up from the chess board and smiled a little, not much really and stated the fact
he was losing ground and quick. He sat there with his jaw on the table. Shocked that he was know in a unpredictable
predicament. Frightened, he hurriedly moved his queen between my queen and his king. Wouldn’t work. Another
hole in the line of defense! I nailed his queen with my knight thus he moved his king to a safer position. His only
hope was to get one of his pawns to my home row so he could get his queen back, but that wasn’t going to happen. I
positioned my knight and queen and I trapped his king and I made the kill. As I was enjoying my victory, I sang some of the song Oaktree. I smiled at him, leaned back in my chair,
put my hands behind my head, and said, “How does it feel to be on the mattresses schmuck?” Bewildered from the
shock of demoting from king to peasant, he sat there and gave me a ‘go to hell’ look that only he could give and said,
“How about a rematch?” I scratched my head and thought a minute. Finally I said, “Naw, how about we go to down to Instant Karma
instead? Besides Ann owes me a free piercing for the work that I did for her last week.” He nodded in agreement.
As we were walking to the door, Oaktree came back on the stereo. I know all the savory places that she’s been. . . Sometimes when it suits me. . . I spread all my branches and let the sun pass through me. . . ‘Cause I’m the old oak tree. . .” |