| . . . . .Some things in life are free and given without a second thought. Some things you desire and lust for. Those things have the ability to alter your life in the most vile ways. Pain, though thorny and scarring, is a very wise instructor. Do we as beings need to feel pain in order to grow? I think so. Sometimes you have to walk through hell to grasp an understanding. Though, when one is depressed, one feels numb to the pain or any other sensation. A depressed person feels that pain is the only thing that has any meaning. That feeling is the only thing that they deserve. The only thing that can black out all of the other pains. A deception in thinking whose end result is that every other feeling is faded out. Self-pity is a mask that is worn to hide yourself from yourself and everybody else. When you look in a mirror, you see something vile and not worth saving. When your in public, you feel under rated and alone. When your room is thought of as a womb, casket, home, and sanctuary, you will know what I talk of. When your hate consumes you when you walk through the mall because you see all the people who will never understand you. All those happy, shiny people oblivious to the scars that you carry. Ah, the scars. They twist around your body. Not an inch of unviolated flesh is left. Your body and mind is a roadmap of pain and solitude. When you want to feel the warmth, but all you feel is cold you look into the mirror for confirmation. For an instant you see not the reflection that you normally see, but a reflection of someone normal and likable. You don't see scarred flesh, you see a scratch that is easily overlooked and easily healed. Depression is a form of deception. The person that is at the brunt of its minical bash is the one who is least aware of it. |