| When I question things, I seem to narrow things into a simplistic field of scope. Which any person could tell you that life can not be told from a single pixel of truth. In my claim of purity in Holy Shit, I led my self to believe that I am separate from that truth. That somehow I am set apart from that same society that raised me. I am as much a part of this contradiction as the ones that pray to the sky, but I do not wish to be because I can see their faults better than I can see mine own. Because I am human means that I am faulty and that I have the ability to disrupt harmony. We destroy the environment, interpersonal relationships, and our own creations. Is that a bad and evil thing? In a lot of ways, yes. In some, no. This is a question that is not answered simply. One, I do not believe in good or evil. Too superstitious for my taste. I believe that people can be driven to do things that would seem evil to the world, but sane and justifiable to the person at hand. Are we all histrionic or depressed? No. Like all the hairs on your head, we all have our own cycles of growth and stagnation. We push and push and makes ourselves into a beautiful strand and then it just falls off. That’s life. Regeneration and cycles. The more things change, the more they stay the same. It disgusts me sometimes to think about it because of the things that have happened in the past. It also amazes me because life seems so complicated but also so simplistic. Life is such a diverse creature that it is both simplistic and complicated all at once. Another thing that bothers me is that this balance seems so delicate, but it is not. One person will not sway life, one could make a major change but not collapse it. I feel sometimes that I could be that person to collapse it because of the mistakes that I have made. That is not the truth though, the only world that I collapse is mine own. This is the only thing that is denatured, and not really denatured. Only changed. I am as much a part of this world as the Bible thumper who is so blind by the Word that he refuses that the world is impartial and that it is man that acts as “good” or “evil”. What is the truth? I try to dissect it because I can not tell by looking at it. This is the flipside, is there another way to look at something? We are programmed automatons believing that we are free to do what we want. |