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This world makes me sick. The only thing that a person can look forward to is an afterlife where there is no pain. People live their lives and go through great agony to be able to go to this great place after they die. And what for? The people you leave behind are still in agony. Waiting for release. Why do people even have children if they know that they are going to grow up and want to die so desperately that they pray for it until oblivion takes them. Why?
Death causes nothing but pain. Nothing but canquor and sores, but people root and cheer for it. They pray for it, they worship it. I have never understood the purpose of conception if the end is to die. Wouldn’t it be necessary to come up with a way to live forever? To avoid dying? But people have tried in vain for eternal life. But why? Our numbers grow by the minute, and we never stop. In a sense we will never die, we are kept alive by our children and their children. But why do we have this fear of dying? Is it because people die everyday? Even in a small town you hear of at least one person dying. Do we continually need to replenish our numbers to stay afloat? Or is it that people are that selfish that they think that the world would not be the same without them? Self-serving? A man made bullshit story? I think so! When death is personal, when it knocks on your door and takes away a cherished friend as its trophy, Death feels so empty. It feels like someone has reached into your soul and taken a piece of it. When you make a friend, marry that special someone, have that spoiled grandson does it take up space in your soul? Or does it increase the volume of it? And if so, when someone you love dies, does your soul deminish in size? Or does it just blemish the soul and move on? Does it rip it to shreds and throw it on the ground and spit on it? What is that horrible feeling when you find out that someone you love has died? What is that unrelentless, uncompassionate beast that takes away the joys of life? Death is a very strong thing. Is death the opposite of birth. Don’t take me for being addelpated, I don’t mean that in a logical way, but abstract. Can you say that it is like love and hate. Total polar opposites like positive and negative. But in their own way love and hate share a lot of qualities. They are both felt strongly, they can be brought about in a premature manner, people can be lured into one or the other, and both can never be fully attainable. You can never fully grasp the meaning of true love or true hate. The depths of this “simple” subject is unfathomable. So is birth and death. Birth is a happy time filled with traumatic events. Death is a woeful time filled with traumatic events. Are they polar opposites like love and hate? When you are born you have to go through so may different processes. Death can sometimes be simple or utterly complex. I think death is more of an involved process because when a person dies it is like they move far away, but you will no longer be able to call them up to say “How goes it?” With this, there is an utterly desolate feeling. An empty void where there used to be a person, a memory, love, hate, things learned. And ever time a memory cross references to any remote, obscure memory of the deceased, your life falls apart. The one good thing about that though is the fact that over time you heal yourself and deal with it because that is the only thing you can really do. Death is so impersonal. Death is also a highly prized commodity that it is fresh wrapped everyday to preserve every fiber and essence of the person. They have caskets that do not decompose. We deny ourselves the ability to give back to the Earth. We lose that symbiotic relationship. We take, take, and take and then we die and we take again. We are such indigent animals. I hate the human race. |