| It’s a sunny day in Hell. Step into my mind and look into the mirror. Look at all the fragmented memories, look at my pain, look at my scars. I have walked through hell and it shows: My skin is burnt and charred. Childhood to me was a mixed convoluted dream. A nightmare of ungodly proportions.
A Bliss of another kind. Normal to me and only me, but I am not normal. So that’s what they say. They say I’m crazy and they push me away. They push me away when all I want is to be is closer. Put yourself in my shoes. Imagine molestation being your only family heirloom. Imagine beer being more abundant than milk in your house. Imagine seeing your mom and dad fighting in the driveway over nothing. Imagine waiting for your dad to come pick you up for the weekend, but never does. Put yourself in my shoes, for this is only the tip of the iceberg. There is more than this. This is only the beginning of the yellow brick road. Not to mention the inner torment subjected by myself. Take a walk into the depths of my perverted mind. Take a sunny stroll through hell. Run through my labyrinth, fall into a pit of despair and lie there until you rot. Feel the rejection, feel the emptiness, feel the absolute desolation. Feel apathy wrapped around you. Smothering like a wet, soggy blanket to keep you warm. Everything works against the other. I want to feel the warmth, but all I feel is the cold. I feel the minute of decay. Projection of hate on the one who knows last. I fight the monster, the monster within. I give him his power to rip my flesh, but it doesn’t seem that way. He helps me see who I want to be all too well. False images that lead to bitter contempt and hate. The monster grows with each cross of the mirror. I’m getting knotted up! Not again! |