Grotesque Reflection

I have never really hated.
But, of all things, you've taken all of the people and things I've hated.
Sometimes I am tierd and irritable and I want it all to end.
Not to die, but to put life
in a suspended animated state.
Free to roam without regard to the facts of this barren rock.
Barren because it is what I create
within this egg of a heart:
Fragile and disposable,
Hopeless and disgusting,
Fucked and lost forever.
In this vaccum of infinite melancholy
and the same old black hole,
Lost forever in this phenom of solitude and emptyness.
I fall to my knees and grope for my eyes:
Sight which has been lost,
Blind and deaf to a world
that shuns me for being a venamous boy.
Corruption and degradation are placed on my shoulders.
Like Atlas before me,
Will I be able to carry this burden?
The bag of bricks weighted by the creative indulgence of tyranny:
Thunder lizard of the new millenium,
Rex of the old days.
What was lost can never be found again,
lost forever to the vaccum
I've always hated.
But you took all the things that I loved.
In the whole of my life,
Love has been reflected
and fragmented into a gnarled circle of hate.