-Ishmael! Where's your monkey?!
-In the box Mr. fireman, why do you want to know?
-I can't find the lettuce you bellhop, is your head filled with salt?
-No ma'am, sawdust, why do you want to know?
-I can't find granny you blacksmith, are your toes glowing?
-No señor, hungry, she's getting her horoscope from the soap scum.
-Who put the lettuce in the tiolet?!!

-Ishmael! Where's my trumpet?!
-Shaving the parking meters. (sniff,sniff) Is that polystyrene I smell?
-No. it's my trumpet, ...but why was it in the toaster?
-Because I ran out of hair spray this morning.
-Wait a minute!! This isn't my trumpet! It's sugar coated vinyl!! Where's my trumpet?
-Out back mowing the fence. Did you pick up the plutonium I needed?
-Not until you put your legs back on. We can't have any plutonium here with scissors running around. How are we going to get rid of all these cows?
-I know! We could put the paper on top of the roof.
-Ishmael! You're a genius! Why, with your smarts, you're going to go far in the world!
-They don't call me stupid for nothing.

-Ishmael! Where is my llama?!
-Giving the soap scum a bath. What's 12+3?
-Is that a trick question?
-No. I'm doing my aerobics.
-Who are you talking to?
-The bus driver. He wants to know how many boxes of presweetened cereal our household consumes in a week.
-Tell him my goldfish is shedding its bladder. And buy me a goat!
-What color?
-How much does a green one cost?
-Not yet.
-Good job!

-Ishmael! Where's my turtle?!
-In the baggage claim. Why are you wearing a pizza?
-I ran out of algebra! Is he a spy?
-No, he's a goat.
-Have you cleaned the septic tank yet?
-No, I couldn't find any eggs.