Words spoken before he knew, before he knew who Timber/Desirae really was.

"I knew you in a past life, Chris. I don't want to know you again.

"Ooh, ouch. Well I loved you in a past life, Timber. And I'm not sure I want to again. (Not that you would care.)"

"...when did you learn to talk in parenteses?"

She took a drag of her cigarette.

"Talk to me. I understand."

"I highly doubt that," she snapped.

Though he would have, of course. He was there. He'd seen it all. Which was exactly why she wouldn't talk to him. She didn't want him to understand. It was complicated, the way that she thought now. The way that she had to think now.

He walked to the door. "Wait," she said. "I don't like it, by myself, as pathetic as it may be."

She was snapped out of her reverie by a noise at the door. She hadn't realised it, but she'd spent almost two hours thinking about the past. Which she tried not to do. Didn't he get it? Didn't he get what it'd been like to walk around and everywhere, always, always see the face of someone that she'd known so well and someone that'd known her better than anyone in the world? Didn't he know what it felt like to walk around and have the face of someone you loved staring at you without it being them, damnit?

She glanced at the clock. She hadn't realized it, but it was past midnight. She'd sat there thinking for more than two hours.

"It's after midnight," she sighed. She got up off the couch and fumbled around for the TV remote. She found it; and flipped the TV on.

"'N SYNC's Justin Timberlake is in the news again today for..."

She didn't really care to hear what 'N SYNC's Justin Timberlake was in the news again today for... truth was, she didn't really care. She'd had e-fucking-nough of him. She took the last puff of her cigarette, and put it out.

She got up and stretched. She had pajamas on, but didn't remember ever putting them on. "Damn, I must have gotten wasted, or something tonight. But I feel fine. Hell, I'm talking to myself." What was worse was that she half-expected a sane answer from herself.

********

"Chris! C'mon, get your ass up, we've got two hours before sound check!" Joey called.

"Tell 'em I'm sick. Wait, what the hell, sound check at three in the morning? Hell no."

"Well, really we don't. You've just been sleeping, for once, instead of bouncing off the wall. Just wanted to make sure you weren't sleeping purposely."

"Funny," he said as he got up and moped out to use the phone. "Joey, I'm calling room service. You want anything?"

"Uh, yeah... a 14 inch pizza. Pepperonni, ham, mushrooms- hell, everything they got."

"Aiight man. I'm getting coffee."

"Big spender."

"I know."

********

Timber opened the refrigerator and poured herself a cup of coffee, then added a bit of orange juice. "What the hell." She carried it out, curled up on the couch, and flipped to VH1. She fell asleep, soon enough, finally.