PART 7
"So, do you like it?" Dan's voice startled Bess, who had been gazing off towards the sunset, unaware of his arrival.
"Like what?" she asked.
"This," he said, motioning all around him, "This place."
"You seem to have made quite a home here," Bess said, trying to cheerfully sidestep the conversation.
"But…," Dan said, the hope slowly leaving his face.
"Well I do think it's beautiful," Bess said, trying to compensate.
"Beautiful enough to live here?"
"What?"
"When we're married," Dan said, beginning to walk down the rows of trees.
Bess took his arm and said, "You want to live here." It wasn't a question so much as it was a statement to herself. She muttered it a few more times, trying to get used to how it sounded.
"We don't have to decide anythin' right now Bess," Dan said quickly.
"I suppose Nan just loves it here, doesn't she?" Bess said softly, "Is that her dream Dan? To live out west, become a woman doctor? Isn't that the kind of woman you want?"
"Bess…," Dan said, confusion filling his face, "Where's this comin' from?? What are you talking about?"
"Nothing," Bess said with a sigh, "Please, it's getting colder, let's-"
"Bess, tell me what you're talkin' about, please! I mean, what…you think I got feelin's for Nan!?"
"I know," she said, looking into his eyes, "All those letters must mean something, don't they?" Dan stood, looking at her in shock. "Look Dan, please, let's talk of this no more tonight," Bess said, brushing against his arm.
As she began to walk away, shawl draping her shoulders loosely, Dan called, "Does Nat know?" Bess reluctantly turned back, and Dan saw in her eyes the pain he had caused…yet strangely enough, there was no anger. And that made Dan feel ten times worse.
"Yeah," she said, nodding, "He knows." She slowly walked back to the house alone, while Dan rushed off towards the barn. Inside, Nat was saddling up a horse, his face red.
"Nat," Dan called out, but Nat paid no attention, "Nat please! I know you know, and I just want to talk-"
"No Dan, you don't want to talk. You want to explain. You want to give me reasons, and excuses, and there ARE none to give," Nat said, getting up on the horse. As he made his way out of the barn, Dan grabbed the nearest horse and jumped on, not caring that there was no saddle.
"Nat! Wait!" he called, but he only caught up with Nat when they were right outside the small 'sub-town' of the Bishop's. Nat finally got off his horse, and began to walk quickly away from Dan. "Nat!" he yelled again, finally catching up, and putting his hand on Nat's arm. Nat whipped around and threw the hand off.
"Do you love her?" he asked, looking into Dan's eyes.
"Not like that Nat…Nat!" Dan called and began chasing after Nat again.
"Alright Dan," Nat said in a strangely calm voice, "You want to talk?" Dan slowly nodded, dreading what Nat was thinking of. "Truth. Tell me the truth. Did you know about David?"
"Nat…," Dan said slowly, his voice begging Nat to stop.
"If you mean what you say, you'll tell me the truth," Nat said in a solid voice.
"Yeah," Dan said softly, averting his gaze. Nat also looked away, anger again building up inside of him.
"You could have told me!!" Nat said.
"Look who's talking!" Dan yelled in reply.
"This isn't like when we were kids Dan! I don't need you to protect me anymore - I don't need you at all! And secondly, what do you mean 'look who's talking'?"
"Nat, you act like I'm the horrible one here, but what about you?"
"What about me Dan?!"
"One moment it seems like I'm the luckiest guy alive…not only are Bess and I best friends, she agreed to marry me. Then, in the span of a year, you suddenly fill that place."
"Dan, what the heck are you saying?! You think there's something going on between me and BESS!?" Nat said, astonished. At Dan's intentional silence, Nat stiffened. The two looked at each other, seeing for the first time someone different than the person they had known. Nat slowly got back on his horse, and rode off in one direction, while Dan did the same in another direction. Dan eventually paused for a second, and looked back at Nat, half expecting and half hoping that Nat would turn around as well. But when he gazed, Nat was riding off without even a hint of turning back. Dan sigh heavily, and for the first time in a long, long time, he felt very alone.
"But see, she wouldn't let me leave," Nick chuckled as he sat in the front room of the Bishop's home.
"I wouldn't have let ya leave either honey," Ruth grinned.
Jo rolled her eyes saying, "That had nothing to do with it. Even though they were threatening to take away the school…the children…everything…I just didn't want them to win…to know that they had won. Besides, it wouldn't have been much of a victory if the family was split up." Nick and Ruth shared yet another smile.
"She was sweet on you…oooh," Ruth laughed merrily - this was the most fun she'd had in a long time. When Jo had dropped by earlier that evening, the mood had been somber and dismal. She had come to offer her condolences on the death of Sam, and had found Ruth all alone. The Bishop's, as well as their neighbors had gathered in the church for a candlelight vigil, but Ruth had opted to stay home. Nick had made a valiant effort though, and was rewarded when Ruth's mood eventually brightened.
As the laughter in the room died down, Nick said, "Well, we best be gettin' back. I'll go get the horses." He shrugged on his coat, as Jo played with his hat. When he went to reach for it though, she gave him a tough time, trying to be playful. Nick eventually grabbed the hat, and with one of his saucy grins left for the cold outdoors. Jo gazed after him, her joy fading as her doubts crowded her mind once again.
"Time," Ruth said in a sure voice.
"Time?" Jo questioned, not understanding.
"Time is the most unique thing in the world. It's the best gift we can ever receive - but then again, it can also be the worst. It inspires us, it gives us hope - and it also depresses us, terrifies us. Time can change trends, and the ways that people go about doin' things. Time can change almost anything…"
"Believe me, I realized long ago that time is one of our most precious gifts," Jo said, with a wry smile.
"But my dear! Have you never realized the one thing time cannot change?!" Ruth asked in interest. Before Jo could answer, Nick's voice could be heard calling in from the wind outside. Ruth slowly got up to see Jo to the door saying, "He loves you. I seen plenty of love in my time, and that boy's got it bad for you."
"Sometimes I wonder," Jo said, smiling sadly.
Ruth chuckled and shook her head saying, "You just think 'bout what I said." Jo nodded, and stepped out into the cold night air.
"We come here today," Bishop said, as people shuffled about the church, "to honor the memory of a fine young man. This young man had the promise of life in him, I tell you! He had the makings of a great man. And now, he is gone. On to a better place? Certainly! But before his time…" It was after the eulogy, when everyone was filing out of the church for the burial, that Jo finally began to notice everyone around her. She'd been in a daze the entire morning; half because of the seriousness of the funeral, half because of Ruth's lingering question.
Nick's hands gently rested on Jo's shoulders as he carefully steered her through the crowd, the act seemingly normal. But Jo felt a small tingle travel down her spine, and a smile graze her lips - it had been a while since things had seemed this normal…yet she wondered still. What kind of normality was this? Was this a simple, normal gesture between friends? 'Friends,' she thought, feeling a wave of some kind of indescribable feeling wash over her. Whatever the feeling was, it wasn't good.
As Meg followed Jo and Nick, she glanced over to Harrison, trying to see his reaction to the couple. She was more than surprised to find him apparently…gazing at her. With a shy, self-conscious look, he bowed his head down a little. Meg paused to ponder over the strangeness of the situation, and was very surprised when she felt the gentle pressure of Harrison's hand on the small of her back, gently guiding her towards the door.
All the mourners slowly marched in a processional to a small hill near the home of Sam Johnson. His brothers lead the group, carrying his casket. Everyone created a circle around the freshly dug hole that exposed the slightly frozen ground. As Bishop read some final prayers, a light snow began to fall, gently resting on everything. "One thing Sam did teach us," Bishop said, "was that we need to hold on to each other. Sam loved his family and friends, and he showed it every day in his actions and words." Nat glanced across the open grave at Nan, who was standing alone, head lowered a bit. David was nowhere in sight. Bess, who stood next to Nat, was gently dabbing at her eyes as Bishop spoke. Nat was contemplating whether or not to…do something - anything - about Nan, when he saw Dan walking towards her. Trying to avoid any more pain, he looked away, taking Bess' hand as a source of comfort for him as well as her.
As the final words were said, the mourners walked away slowly down the hill, and began to gently murmur to each other. "Where's Dave?" Dan asked as he and Nan headed towards Nick and Jo.
"David," she emphasized, "isn't here." Dan resisted the urge to make a face and say something, so he instead nodded his head. "You think he had something to do with it," Nan said softly, meaning it as a statement rather than a question. Dan regarded her for a second, deciding what to do. He slowly nodded his head, and after that, Nan was silent.
At the reception, the family was clearly split. It seemed as though there weren't enough corners in the room to hide them from each other. Jo lingered near the immediate family of Sam, chatting, and Meg pushed Harrison toward her, opting to stand near Nick instead. The four kids basically ignored each other as well. Amy and Laurie were standing off to the side, observing everything.
"They're being so trivial," Amy said in an angered voice, "You only get one chance at this life…and they're wasting it."
Laurie looked at his wife closely and said, "Dear, are you all right?"
"I'm fine," Amy said, but Laurie could tell that there was more.
"The boy…Sam. It's upset you more than you've let on," Laurie said in realization.
"Don't be silly," Amy said softly, "I hardly knew the boy."
"Well didn't you spend an afternoon with him once when you were measuring the hall?" Amy was silent. "Does this have something to do with…Todd?" Laurie finally asked. Todd was a name that the two knew quite well…yet they were the only one's familiar with it. After Bess had gone, Laurie and Amy had considered adopting a child - but not just any child. They both wanted to take a child who had been left in unfortunate circumstances, and share their wealth with him. So they'd gone down to the worst part of town, and found the orphanage. That was where they had met Todd. His intelligence and wit lightened their hearts. They had begun the adoption procedure, when Todd had gotten very sick. Although Laurie paid for the best doctors, the boy never got well. In his final days, Amy only saw him once, the day he died. All throughout his illness, she hadn't brought herself to enter the room, and that fear, that sickening inability had haunted her ever since.
"I had to be there," she said softly, "when he was dying. I didn't want to leave him." Laurie gave his wife a look of deep compassion and touched her arm in support.
"It was very brave of you," he said.
"I still could have done more," Amy said, her voice sheepish, but very heavy, "There's something I must do before we go." She squeezed his hand and then walked over to where Sam's family stood. Some of the guests had already left, and Jo had gone to find everyone's coats when she noticed Amy, walking with a great sense of purpose. Everyone in the room seemed to stop talking as Amy approached them.
"Mr. and Mrs. Johnson," she said, her voice low, "I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am. I understand what it's like…loosing a child." Both Jo and Meg had looks of complete shock on their faces. "I'm only sorry I couldn't have done more." Amy lowered her head, feeling ashamed.
"My daughter," Rose began, "tells me that you were with them when they tried to help Sam."
"Yes, but I didn't really do anything-"
"You were there," Rose simply stressed, "And we will never ever forget your kindness Mrs. Laurence." Amy had a rather shocked expression of her own, and she smiled at Rose.
"Just as I will never forget your son," Amy said, taking Rose's hand. Bess had a hand over her mouth, and Nat was practically holding her up. Laurie's face shone with tears of pride…and closure. After that, everyone that was left at the reception began to trickle out. Jo and Meg took Amy aside to find out about this "loss of a child" that Amy had experienced.
"…and well, you see, I didn't want to tell any of you, because I was so ashamed," Amy finished, tears in her eyes.
"Oh Amy," Jo said, her chin trembling as her tears fell.
"I'm sorry if I disappointed you or hurt you Jo, I-"
"Amy," Jo interrupted, "I have never been more proud of you than when you did what you did today." The three sisters embraced each other tightly, laughing at themselves through their tears.
"Look at us," Meg smiled, "Think of what Marmee would say!"
PART 8
