The next night, Nick was tossing and turning in his sleep again. The same nightmare as usual was haunting him. "Mama, please don’t go. Papa, please don’t leave me," he said in his sleep. But the nightmare continued.

Jo was in the barn checking on Penny before bed. "Good night sweet thing," she said to the horse. "Pleasant dreams." She walked out of the barn and passed Nick’s room as she went back to the house.

"No! Not again. Not her too," Nick called out in his sleep. "Jo! Jo!!!" he screamed as he awakened and sat bolt upright.

Jo heard him call her name in a voice filled with sheer terror. A chill ran up her spine as she ran to his room and threw open the door. She found him sitting on his bunk, sweating and shaking.

He looked up at her, frantic. "You’re back. You came back. No one has ever come back."

"What do you mean Nick? What’s wrong? What happened?" She went to him and sat down next to him, unsure of what had happened and unsure of what to do.

As he began to calm himself, Jo realized that it had been a nightmare; that nothing else had happened.

"It was just a nightmare, Nick. You are all right," she assured him, touching him gently on his trembling shoulder.

He held his head in his hands as he caught his breath. "Will it ever stop?" he asked.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jo asked, worried.

"No. I wanna forget it."

"Tell me about it Nick. It will help. No secrets, remember?" Gently, she brushed the hair back from his face.

He managed a touch of a smile at her tenderness. "Been havin the same dream since I was a kid, since my folks died. But it just keeps gettin’ worse."

"Tell me about it."

He looked at her. He was still sweating. She waited for him to speak. Just when she thought he would not, he began to tell her the nightmare, staring vacantly into space as he spoke.

"There’s this judge. And he’s standin’ in front of this…". He struggled for the word. "… mist or fog or somethin’. My Ma’s standin’ in front o’ him. He tells her that I ain’t deservin’ of her and he tells her ta go into the mist."

Jo could not believe what she was hearing. What a horrible feeling for a son to have. She took his hand and held it.

At her touch, he paused for a second, then continued. "And she does just as he says. I call ta her ta come back. I beg her not ta go. I promise her I’ll try harder, but…". He stopped and shifted uncomfortably. "…She walks right inta the mist without even lookin’ at me."

Jo spotted a pitcher of water on the table and poured him a cup. He nodded and took it.

Nick went on, speaking quietly, timidly. "Then the judge tells Susanna and my Pa that I don’t deserve them neither. And they walk away, too. Just like Ma did. I call them, but they don’t even look back at me." He sipped the water, slowly. "They just walk right inta that mist and disappear forever."

He stood up and moved across the room. He put the glass down and ran his fingers along the edge of the table. "Then there was Becky, and my aunt, and There---" he stopped himself, not looking at her. But, she knew he meant Theresa. "Lots of friends. Marcus, too."

Tears came to Jo’s eyes as she thought of her student Marcus Carter who had died in the measles epidemic the year before. She remembered how close he and Nick had become in the short time they knew each other, sharing much more than their craftsman’s skills with each other. She had never realized how deeply Nick felt the loss.

Jo went to him and touched his arm. "It’s not your fault."

He turned to look at her, his eyes moist, but did not respond. "Then Ben comes," Nick continued. "The judge sends him inta the mist, too. But he don’t go in." A slight laugh stifled the tears. "Ben never did listen good. He’s just standin’ right at the edge of the mist with his back ta me. I keep callin him, but he won’t even turn around. And then…". He stopped and turned away not knowing where to look. Jo took his hand.

"And then?" she encouraged him, knowing it was her name that he called when he awoke.

"And then, and then I wake up," he said, pulling his hand away, crossing his arms, and looking over her shoulder across the room.

"That’s the end? The whole thing?" she asked, not wanting to press him too hard.

"Yeah, the whole thing."

"Do you have this dream often?"

"All the time. Ben learned ta sleep right through it," he said. "I don’t sleep much after I have it, though."

"It sounds awful."

"I just want it ta stop, Jo. I don’t want…". He stopped himself, looking at her. He could not tell her how afraid he was of losing her too. He moved across the room and stared into the fireplace. The room was silent except for the crackling of the fire.

Jo watched him. She desperately wanted him to tell her the rest of the dream. She wondered if he saw her walk away, too. She wanted to assure him that she was not going anywhere.

Nick stood, staring into the fire. The frantic flames seemed to be calling him, accusing him. He desperately wanted Jo to assure him that she was not going anywhere; that she would not leave him, too.

But, she did not say it. She did not say anything. She wanted him to tell her that he did not want to lose her. But, he did not say it. And then the moment passed.

He turned to her. "Ya must be tired. Ya best be gettin’ ta bed," he said quietly, his face still marked with sadness and fear.

"Yes. I suppose I should," Jo replied.

Their eyes met. Their hearts each skipped a beat. He looked down at the floor as she walked out the door.

 

"I just do not understand him, Meg." Jo told her sister when she arrived early the next morning. "Just when I feel that we are getting really close, he says something or does something to keep us apart. Like after he had that nightmare. He was telling me all about it and then he just stopped. I’m sure he called my name when he awoke. I’m sure he saw me in that dream, but he would not tell me. All he said was ‘You better get to bed.’"

"It was a terrible dream, Jo. It must be difficult for him to talk about it."

"But, if he cannot talk about it with me, then what do we really have together?"

"He just had a hard time talking about it, Jo. I am sure that it does not mean anything more than that."

"But he always does it, Meg. In the kitchen when he came back with Rob he did it, too. He just walked out, in the cold rain with no coat!" She paused and chewed on her lip a bit. "I just do not know what to think."

Before Meg could respond they heard him calling. "Hey, Jo. G’mornin’ Meg." He came over to where they were standing. He looked tired, but sounded cheerful as usual.

"Good morning, Nick," Meg replied.

"Beautiful day, ain’t it?" he said, tilting his face to the sun and basking in it’s warmth. He stretched his back, yawning.

"Nick," Jo said happily. "Meg said that Amy has rescheduled her party for tonight. We didn’t miss anything after all."

"Sounds great. 8 o’clock, right?"

"Yes," Meg confirmed.

Nick turned to Jo. "I’m goin’ out ta bring the wagon back, now that the roads are dried out. Don’t know how long it’ll take."

"Nick," Meg said. "I was at Gerson’s Store yesterday and he said there was a telegram for you."

"Oh, thank ya, Meg. I’ll pick it up when I’m in town."

"Well, I saved you the trouble. Mr. Gerson said it has been there a couple of days. Since I was coming anyway, I thought I would bring it to you." She took it out of her bag and handed it to him.

He took it, nodding his thanks, and read it carefully. His brow was furrowed as he worked at reading it. Jo and Meg smiled at each other. Nick glanced up and saw them. "What?".

"Nothing," Jo answered, still smiling.

"Why ya smilin’ then?"

"Is there a law against smiling, now?" she teased.

"Alright forget it. Can ya help me with this? Can’t figure this here word out." He pointed.

"Survivors," Jo answered. It says, "Papa’s survivors are coming to visit. Arriving in Bedford… Christopher Columbus! They’re coming today!"

"Who is?" Meg asked.

"Ol’ sea buddies o’ mine," Nick answered, excitedly. "We was stranded on an island together for a couple o’ months. Ain’t been all together fer years."

"Who’s Papa?" Jo asked, curious.

"Ah, he was the only one with any experience livin’ off the land like that," Nick shrugged. "Kinda helped everyone out."

"You were lucky to have him around then," Jo said.

"Yeah. Well, if that train’s arrivin’ this mornin’ I better get movin’." He started to walk away, stopped and turned. "Is it alright if I go, Jo?"

"Of course, Nick. You don’t have to ask."

"I still do work fer ya, don’t I? So’s I gotta ask. It’s only right." He had another realization. "I told ya I’d watch Rob today. Can I take ‘im with me?"

Jo remembered how Nick had corrected Rob a few days earlier for saying ‘Can I,’ incorrectly. She stifled a laugh. "Are you sure you want to? I could have him sit in the classroom with us."

"Why bore the poor fella…". Nick stopped himself, but it was too late.

"Bore him? Excuse me, but are you implying that my classroom is boring?" Jo asked, watching with glee as he squirmed. Meg smiled at their playfulness.

"No, of course not, Jo. Not for yer students," Nick answered, intent on not letting her win this round. "But Rob’s too young fer all that. Besides, ya can get an education in all sorts o’ places. He may learn somethin’ while we’re out on the road."

"All right," Jo said laughing. "You can be his teacher today."

Nick gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and winked at her. "I’ll take good care o’ him." Then he turned. "See y’all later!" Nick called as he left to find Rob.

"He looks all right to me, Jo. He obviously has feelings for you."

"But why does he keep pulling away?" Jo asked.

"I wouldn’t call that kiss pulling away, Jo."

"Hey Jo!" Nick called out as he pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the house and jumped out. "Ya been standin’ right there waitin’ for us all day?" he laughed. She smiled at him and he winked at her.

"Hey Mother. That was so much fun," Rob said. Nick caught him as he jumped out of the wagon, startling Jo.

"Did you know that Nick can drink six beers and still climb the mast on a rolling ship?"

"No. I didn’t Rob," Jo answered, glaring at an embarrassed Nick as his friends laughed. She turned to Nick. "Is that the kind of thing you meant they can learn outside the classroom?"

Nick looked at her a second and started to speak when Rob chimed in. "And did you know that moss only grows on the north side of a tree? You can always know which direction you are going in by the moss. The sun and stars can help you, too. Nick can never get lost with all that help."

Rob was so excited that he kept right on talking. "And Nick showed me what kinds of berries we can eat and which ones we can’t. But, he said I should not eat any without checking with him first anyway." He stopped for a second, a huge smile on his face. "Nick knows everything."

Jo relaxed at this further education Nick had given her son.

"I just have one question, Nick," Rob said, looking up at his teacher for the day. "What’s a beer?"

"We’ll talk about it later, Rob. Jo, I’d like ya ta meet the fellas here," Nick said, taking her hand and trying to change the subject quickly. The other children arrived shouting greetings to Nick. "Hey kids." He turned to his friends that had just hopped out of the wagon, pointing to them one by one as he said their names. "Taylor, Caleb, Zach and Oliver."

The sea buddies and the Plumfield gang exchanged greetings.

"How long will you be able to stay?" Jo asked.

"Unfortunately, we have to go back tomorrow evening. Ship’s leaving the next day." Taylor answered.

"But we got tonight, right Nick?" Caleb asked.

"Sure do."

"Well, I don’t have enough room in the house for all of you, but you are more than welcome to stay in the barn. Ben was comfortable there," Jo said.

"If it’s good enough for Ben then it’s good enough for us. But we don’t intend on needin’ a place ta sleep anyway, do we Nick?" Oliver said with a wink.

Nick was speechless as Jo gave him that look.

Zach looked around. "Hey Papa, this is a great place. I wouldn’t mind livin’ here."

Nick looked annoyed.

"Ya know that Nick don’t like us callin’ him that," Caleb reminded Zach.

"You’re Papa? The one who took care of everybody?" Jo asked Nick, flabbergasted. "But they’re all…". She stopped, not wanting to mention that they were all obviously older than Nick.

"…older than him?" Oliver, the oldest of the crew, finished for her, laughing. "That never stopped Nicky from taking care of anybody. We’ve been calling Nick Papa since he started sailin’. He was just a kid. What were ya, seventeen?"

"He was fifteen," Taylor corrected him. "A very old fifteen. Looked out for everybody even then. That’s why the fellas started calling him Papa."

"Always hated that," Nick told Jo simply, tilting his head to her as he spoke.

"We wouldn’t have made it off that island if it weren’t for Nick, here. Did he ever tell ya about that?" Zach asked the kids.

"He told us you were there for a couple months, but that’s about it," Nat answered.

"That’s all ya told ‘em, Nicky?" Zach asked surprised. Nick shrugged.

"But you said there were nine of you," Jo said to Nick.

Nick was surprised that she remembered that detail. "Yeah, there was. But, Drew died of pneumonia last year and Adam died the year before in a hurricane off the coast of New Guinea," Nick answered. A wave of sadness washed over him. "Evers and Chance never made it off the island."

"We’ve told you before, Nick. It wasn’t your fault," Taylor said to him immediately, recognizing Nick’s pained expression. "Evers was almost dead when ya pulled him out of the sea and Chance saw how sick ya got when ya tried just a couple of those berries. Ya told him not ta eat ‘em."

"He was starvin’, Taylor," Nick shouted angrily. "I should’ve found ‘im somethin’ ta eat in time. Now his kids ain’t got no Pa!"

"It wasn’t your fault, Nicky," Caleb said, firmly, calming him. The others voiced their agreement. Nick let out a deep breath and nodded his head.

"Would you tell us more about the island?" Dan asked.

"And tell us more about Nick, too," Nan added.

Nick laughed as the kids begged his buddies to tell them all about him.

"Why don’t we go inside and talk," Jo suggested.

Nick pulled Jo aside as the others went in. "Thanks Jo, but don’t the kids need ta be gettin’ back ta school?"

"It’s my pleasure, Nick. And you told me yourself that you can get an education in all sorts of places. I’ll just quiz them on all of your adventures tomorrow." She giggled as she began to walk away.

Nick stepped in front of her. "I know we was plannin’ ta go ta Amy’s party tonight, but they will only be here one night and…". Nick looked at Jo’s disappointed expression. He shook his head. "And I’ll tell them I’ll meet up with ‘em after that, alright?"

Jo smiled. "You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to, Nick."

"I want to Jo. Don’t want nothin’ more. They can wait a bit fer me. We’ll have the rest o’ the night, anyway."

All night, she thought, a look of disapproval crossing her face.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Jo said, realizing that she was not going to change him. "Let’s get inside with the others."

"Good idea. Don’t know what they’ll tell those kids about me."

Jo was intrigued.

"Making things up, of course. Nothin’ interestin’ otherwise."

"All right, Nicky," she teased, "let’s go in."

They laughed and went inside arm in arm.