The 69 steps for sexual success.

1. Butter-flavored Pam cooking-spray (quick-and-easy lubing)

2. Olive oil (hands-on application)

3. Jerkin pickles

4. Golden raisins

5. Power drill with chattering teeth adapter

6. Cole slaw

7. Industrial Sized Candy-cane

8. Rug doctor with banana peel attachment

9. Studded Trojans

10. Anatomically correct carousel horse

11. Lathe

12. Visual Probe (fiber optic camera)

13. Balloon Expander

14. Mexican Jumping beans

15. Cow-milker

16. Nerf dildo

17. Pineapple rings

18. Electric stimulator

19. 300 gallons of Jell-O

20. Studded Choker

21. Strawberry Preserves

22. Edible panties

23. 10 Coat hangers (wire)

24. 1 Sheep

25. Rubber Ducky

26. Seltzer Bottle

27. Toy soldiers

28. 1 Slinky

29. Chia Pet

30. Pogo Stick

31. Scuba Equipment

32. Anal Percosolator

33. Orgasmitron

34. Rectal Thermometer (Todd's tongue)

35. Tongue Depressors

36. 1 Gallon of ordinary household bleach

37. Glow-in-the-dark finger paints

38. Magnifying Glass

39. Rubber Gloves

40. 1 Spork

41. Tape Measure

42. Toilet brush

43. Monkey wrench

44. 1 (one) Butt-Reamer

45. Bowling pin, set of ten

46. 6 cucumbers

47. 4 all-purpose potatoes

48. Percosolatron

49. 69 Carrots

50. 1lb of liver (raw)

51. long-neck coke bottle

52. Chemistry set

53. Egg beaters

54. fly swatter