Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body
experience.
-Calvin & Hobbes-
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Why is it that everywhere I go, the resident idiot heads stright for me?
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten.
They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
-M. Grundler-
| 
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from
some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's
you.
-Rita Mae Brown-
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
-Tom Stoppard-
'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove
all doubt.
-Samuel Johnson-
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench
has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
|
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is NOT for you!
Education is going to college to
learn to express your ignorance in
scientific terms.
In the history of life, no good news has followed that sentence [ "We have to talk."].
When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all other
coins will roll out of sight.
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean
it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.
Monday is the root of all evil.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by
people who annoy me.
|
Why is it that everywhere I go, the resident idiot
heads straight for me?
Gwynn Thomas
My reality check bounced.
God may have mad man first, but there is always a ruff draft before a final copy.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
Occasionally, I have to think like myself to remember where I put something.
-Sue S. Taylor-
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to
leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
-Dorothy Nevill-
|
 He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
-H. H.
Munro-
I hate quotations.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
What Every Computer Consultant Needs to Know:
1) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
2) Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.
-Murphy's Computer Laws (Finagle's Rules)-
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-Lewis Grizzard-
|
 I have decided that suicide is completely out of the question. I refuse to end the suffering
of others... No, I must contemplate homicide and end the suffering of one... ME!!!
-Anonymous- |
To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.
-Unknown-
The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average
voter.
-Winston Churchill-
 Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
-Anonymous-
|
Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not
understand, and those who understand what they do not manage.
-Mike
Trout-
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
-Sam Ewing-
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to
make it worth the effort.
-Herm Albright-
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried."
"The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard."
"The trouble with doing things right the first time is that nobody appreciates how hard it was."
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
