Chapter 20
Riana looked out the window in her apartment in London. The rain came pouring from the cloudy sky at a fast pace. The weather mirrored her mood exactly: lousy. For the past two weeks that was all she was capable of feeling. She hugged her pillow close to her chest as a fresh batch of tears eased their way down her cheeks. He had hurt her so bad, and no one knew how bad she was suffering. She was so lonely, she missed the sound of his voice next to her. She missed his warm and strong arms that used to hold her for hours, protecting her from all evils. She missed his lips that used to kiss away all of her worries. Her lips still tingle thinking about him. She had fallen, and she had fallen hard.
Most importantly, she was confused. Why? Out of nowhere, he had dumped her. Just thinking about that day made her shudder. He had looked horrible that day, his hair was sticking up on end, and his eyes were bloodshot. He couldn't even look at her, almost as if he was ashamed to see what damage he could do.
Riana laid back onto her bed in frustration. She was so tired, but she knew that if she slept she would never want to wake up and face the loneliness that always loomed beside her. She rolled over onto her stomach and sunk her head into her pillow. She didn't even notice her door creak open. She opened her eyes again and saw Leah, looking at her with a worried expression on her face.
"Ree." Leah whispered. Riana looked over at her friend.
"Yeah," she responded, sitting up into a sitting position.
"Why don't you come out with me today?" Leah offered. Riana shook her head.
"Oh, come on. It'll be fun," Leah said.
"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not really up to it," Riana murmured. Leah nodded.
"Riana, you know you can tell me. If you keep all of this bottled up then you're going to kill yourself," Leah said.
"Thanks, Leah." Riana smiled. Leah smiled in return and gave her a pat on the knee. Riana watched as she left the room, shutting the door behind her.
"I hate you, Nick." She said angrily.
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"Nick, come on!!" Brian called from Nick's living room. Nick slowly walked down the stairs, not an expression on his face. He sat down on the couch and threw a pillow over his face. He was dressed in a white wifebeater and a pair of huge, gray sweatpants. His feet were covered in a pair of white socks.
"Nick, what are you doing? We have to go to New York!" Brian said. He took a quick glance at the limo that was waiting for them in Nick's driveway.
"I'm not going," Nick stated.
"You're not what?" Brian asked again.
"I'm not going. Tell them I'm sick, or tell them I'm dying of a broken heart."
"Nick, you were the one that ruined the whole thing with Riana, so I'm not gonna cover for you."
"Oh, come on Bri! I'm such a loser, I can't go!" He cried. He covered his face again so that Brian couldn't see his tears. He heard Brian sigh.
"You owe me," Brian said. Nick removed the pillow once he heard the sound of the engine leave his driveway. Nick looked around his house, his lonely house that would have usually been filled with tons of energy. Now, all of the energy had been sucked up with a vacuum. Nick reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a pen and some paper. He smiled for the first time in two weeks, figuring that writing whatever came to his head could make his problems less stressful.
*I'm a loser
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
Of all the love I have won or have lost
There is one love I should never have crossed
She was a girl in a million, my friend
I should have known she would win in the end
I'm a loser
And I've lost someone that's dear to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown
My tears are falling like rain from the sky
Is it for her, or myself, and I cry
I'm a loser
And I've lost someone that's dear to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
What have I done to deserve such a fate?
I realize I have left it too late
And so its true, pride can beat to your fall
I'm telling you so that you won't lose all.
Nick read over the lyrics and crumpled the paper and through them into the trash bin. He ran his hands through his hair, noticing that the once silk hair had gotten dirty and unwashed. He pushed back his chair and walked into the bathroom.
He let the water turn to steam before stepping out of the shower. He wiped the condensation off the mirror with the towel that he wrapped around his waist. On his chin, a thick stubble appeared from a weeks shave. His eyes were dull and lifeless, pretty much how Nick felt everyday. His hair had gotten long, almost to his chin. His face was long and droopy, from having not slept for days that Nick had lost count of.
"I need a change," Nick said, heading to his room and throwing on a pair of jeans that were lying in a heap upon his floor. He combed his hair back from his face and through on a shirt, before grabbing his sunglasses and placing them over his lifeless eyes. He grabbed his keys and headed downtown to find the new Nick Carter.
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"Well? What do you think?" the man asked Nick. He turned Nick around in the chair so Nick could admire his new look.
"I love it!" he said. He ran a hand through his new hair, cut short to the top of his head. He smiled once again that day, a breakthrough for him. Nick paid the barber and gave him a decent tip before walking out into the warm Florida sun. His sunglasses were perched on the top of his nose, acting as a disguise. Nick Carter with sunglasses and short hair, this will definitely be a shocker. ________________________________
"Nick! We're home!" Brian shouted two days later. He walked into Nick's house and stopped. The house was spotless, appearing ten times different from the last time he had seen it. He looked around in awe, not noticing someone walk into the room.
"You like?" Nick asked.
"Yeah man!" Brian said, not turning around. "It looks- AHHH!!" Brian bellowed as he saw Nick, tripping over his own feet and falling onto the couch.
"Thanks, Bri. That wasn't the reaction I was hoping for," Nick joked, chuckling to himself. He helped Brian back up and waited for his reply.
"Nick, it looks...good!" Brian said, smiling.
"Yeah, I feel good, too." Nick said, sitting down on his couch.
"You're over the whole you/Riana thing?" Brian asked. Nick shook his head.
"I don't think I'll ever be over that, but I just want to move on, ya know? If we meet again, we meet again. If not, we weren't meant to be."
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"Yeah right!" Leah said into the phone. She laughed into the receiver and Riana turned away and walked into her room. Listening to conversations of AJ and Leah were depressing.
Riana had done everything she could to get over Nick, she even tried dating but that didn't work. She was always comparing them to Nick, who in her mind, was a perfect asshole.
She had cut hair to her chin, feeling as though a new appearance would do her good. It had for a while, but now it was nothing, just hair. She sighed and flopped down onto her bed. She didn't want to, but her eyes drooped together and she fell asleep.
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"Riana, guess what?" Leah said, shaking Riana awake. Riana stretched, rubbing her eyes from sleep. It had been a week since that phone call from AJ, and Riana was getting better and better each day.
"I met someone!" Leah exclaimed.
"You already have AJ," Riana grumbled. She threw the covers over her head.
"Not for me, for you!"
"Forget it. Look what happened the last time you set me up..."
"Well, Sean is really nice. He won't hurt you like Nick did," Leah advised.
"Gee, thanks. I feel better now!" Riana said.
"Please? Give him a chance?
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"Well? How do I look?" Riana asked, turning around so Leah could judge her choice of apparel.
"Like a model should," Leah said. Riana wore a skirt that hung to her things, and a tight white shirt. Her outfit clung onto her every curve, making her look exceptional.
"Riana, Sean's here." Leah told her. Riana smiled nervously and walked over to the door, opening it to reveal her mystery date. He had short brown hair with piercing green eyes, almost burning a whole through Riana.
"You must be Riana," he said, his accent coming on strong. Riana smiled and blushed, allowing him to take her hand and lead her outside and to the car. She turned around and gave Leah a thumbs up sign before the car disappeared into the night.
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Riana stood on her doorstep and watched as Sean's car zoomed out of sight. Her legs felt like jello and her lips tingled from the kiss that they had shared. Her heart was racing, and a smile was permanently formed onto her face. She opened the door and came face to face with Leah.
"Tell me everything," Leah said, bringing Riana onto the couch.
"He's perfect, Leah. I wonder why it took me so long to find him." Riana gushed.
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