There was a man....A lonely man....Who lost his love....Through his indifference
Nick's bloodshot eyes glanced around his surroundings. The last time he had been there, she had been there as well. It would never be like that again though. He would never hear her voice again. He would never smell her freshly washed hair again. He would never be able to stare into her sparkling eyes ever again. If only he wouldn't have been so stubborn. If only he would have told her how he truly felt instead of letting his pride and hormones get in the way. So what if she would have been traveling? He traveled too. She was the first girl he ever cared about. He couldn't stand to let her go if he had her. The easiest thing for him to do was act like he didn't care. That way he wouldn't have to be the one to end it. She got so fed up with his attitude she left. Little did he know she would be leaving forever.

A heart that cared....That went unshared....Until it died....Within his silence
In the past months, he'd heard all the chatter. People would constantly be telling him how she always asked about him and wondered how he was doing. He would reply with a quick ok. It pained him to even talk about her to others. He knew she was off in Paris and London, working her life away as usual. He left Brian to asking other people questions about her. He figured it would give her false hope if anyone told her he himself was asking. If only he had known how she was truly doing. Most of the people would only respond with how her career was doing. That was the important aspect of her life, right? Never mind the countless nights she spent awake with dispair. Never mind the sleeping pills she had gotten addicted to. Never mind how she shut herself off from the opposite sex completely in hopes that he would come around.

And keeping to himself....He plays the game....Without her love....It always ends the same....While life goes on around him everywhere....He's playing solitaire
For a long time though, he firgured it would hurt more to have her and never have her there than to not have her at all. He wasn't the same after it all for some reason unknown to him at the time. Other women appealed to him, but not as much. Songs came on the radio that stirred emotions in him that had never been there before. He didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to admit that she had his heart. He couldn't admit to himself that he loved her. Admitting all that now made pains shoot inside his body that were greater than anything he'd ever experienced. The ball had always been in his court and it was still there yet.

A little hope....Goes up in smoke....Just how it kills....Goes without saying
She had called him the night before though. She had gotten the courage up after all that time to finally ask him personally how he was doing. She told him how her career was moving forward and there was no stopping her professionally now. At the time, it only drove him away more, knowing that she would dedicate even more of her time to her career. He would later find out it was only a front to make her seem stronger to him. How he desperately wished to return to that night. He wanted to tell her how stupid they both were for letting their love slip away. He wanted to tell her how much she had him. He missed his chance though. It was another moment that slipped away so easily.

There was a man....A lonely man....Who would command....The hand he's playing
He reflected on it all as he stared down the barrell. One simple twitch of his finger and he would then be able to tell her everything he should have while she was still there. This was yet another opportunity where the ball was in his court. He wouldn't be the same anymore anyhow. Without her, there was no him. Those were his last thoughts before he finally joined her again.

© 1999 Adonis0128@aol.com