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PERSONALS
1.
Wanna Bite Of My Banana?
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Taylor; 30,
Birmingham, ALAMABA, USA
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Hey Chiclets! Ever wondered what it must be like to be on the receiving end of a Banana? Well wonder no more! I'll guarantee there will be plenty to munch on when it comes to sharing mine! Call 555-IDOL
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2.
Middle Aged Unemployed Transvestite Seeking Alcoholic.
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Reg; 44,
Bleeding Knee, AB
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Gone are the days when I could put on a frock and pull a straight guy. Gone are the days when I could curse all the straight fashioned fags! I'm so washed up now I'd be lucky to pull a rabid dog in a Tutu! If your as drunk as I look and spot me in a bar just drag me towards your car! Call 555-TRAN
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3.
I'm Your Knight In A Shining Codpiece.
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Richard; Los Angeles, CA
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Oooh! Have I got some bedsprings for you! Wanna try me out? Why not bounce me around on my very own mattress collection and see why I'm such a bedroom Queen! I'll be your knight in shining armour and If you lucky I'll show you my shiny new codpiece collection for free! He! He! He! 555-7845
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4.
Tranny Trampler.
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Tracey The Tranny Trampler;
Rue Bonacord, Moncton, NB
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Calling all naughty shoe fetish Trannies. Come try out your favourite Tranny Trampler today. For one low price I'll show you why I'm the best Tranny Trampler in town. With my extensive collection of heels you'll be more than satisfied with my walk on the wild side! Call: 555-2345
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5.
Loves Lapdancers.
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Kim Jong-il; Dictator, Pyongyang, NORTH KOREA
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Kim Jong here. Big man in charge of big country. Watch Playboy Late night. Want sexy American. If you Condoleezza Rice then I pay you twice the price! Call me 011-2222-8976-555-7774
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6.
Various Positions.
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Becky; 35, Truro, NS
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Oh how I love to experiment! Just come on over and show me what you can do! Supersize me! I beg you! I'm lying here all alone at home waiting for you to pick up the phone! The pleasure will be all mine I promise. Call 555-2367
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7.
This Is Highly Illogical.
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Spock; Vulcan, Off World
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One can only assume that I of Vulcan origin am participating in one of your advertisements for the purpose of companisonship. Nothing more. It's highly illogical to suggest that I am merely doing this for pleasure as I do not know what human pleasure is. Pleasure itself is but a statement used by humans to express feelings that I, Spock, am devoid of. Call 555-TREK
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8.
Looking For Mr Real Not Real Asshole!
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Daljit; Mumbai, India
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I am a Grandmother of twenty-seven living in a single room apartment. My husband left me for Toronto. He says come. We will be happy. I say go. I will be happier. But now I think maybe he is happier than me. He drives cab and shares apartment with 19 year old girl. I want man to give me big house and make me happy. I don't want Mr. Right, he's an asshole. I want man with money to take of me and my Grandchildren. Will sell Ipod. Call 011-3439-3445-7845
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9.
Multiple Personalities!
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Dez; Manchester, UK
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Fffff#@%ing AAAA! Aws it goin' maan! C'mon! Step up! Shake yer money maker! Party On! Twenty four hour party people! Aciiiid! Call the cops! I'm f#%@ing loaded! Bring it on, you loud B@s&ards!!! I'm up fer it me! Sorted! Call 555-TWAT
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10.
My Gusset Is My Greatest Asset!
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Pi-Pi; 25, Halifax, NS
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Twenty-something she-male seeks non-descript human to enjoy hours of intimate bonding with. Likes outboard motorsports, lawnmowers, baseball, small grey rabbits and nasal hair. Call 555-7856
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11.
Tired Of Being Compared To A Dog!
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Rolf; New Minas, NS
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Give an old Dog a chance. I may look a little long in the tooth and have a tendancy to dribble once in a while but hey? I'm all heart! I'm a full blooded mammal into red meat and totally house trained. What female can refuse that? Call Rolf 555-7822
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12.
Anyone Can Catch My Eye, But Can You Pop It Back In Again?
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Vasiliy Fofanov; 31, Kyiv, UKRAINE
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Hello. I am Ukranian. I am sexy. I am loving with American women. I am new in country and want nice lady. I with one eye and need it for seeing with. Please I make sure to leave it in. You lucky if I am with me also. If we make love on rug and I lose my eye. Good woman like you will give back yes??? Call Vasiliy 555-8978 Call 555-7895.
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13.
Banana Belching Babe.
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Jess; Rogersville, NB
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I can't believe it! Rogers Long distance phone plan is totally cool! Now I can call my fiends anywhere in New Brunswick, not that I would want to but, it's totally free! (So long as they live there). Life sucks! But this Banana doesn't. Why not join me for a night of Banana gorging and we can belch for free. Now that's my guarantee! Call 555-JESS
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14.
Would You Like To See My Wessel?
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Pavel Chekov; 67; Los Angeles, CA
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Ever wondered what it is like to date a spaceman in charge of a large Wessel? Here's your chance. Pavel is your man. My Capitain for many years says I should persue bigger things but maybe he was referring to you! For too many years I looked up to Sulu as my inspiration but he was really only after my Wessel. Now I am looking for real woman to share my Wessel with. Call 555-7845
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15.
Could This Lead To Something Bigger?
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Danica; 20, Dieppe, NB
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Attractive twenty-something fun-loving call-girl, single mother of six, looking for an average, honest, trustworthy man to help pay the bills. Hobbies include drugs, alcohol, spending money and dodging taxes. Call 555-7867
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| Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors. © Copyright 2002-2006 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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