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PERSONALS
1.
Blonde And Miserable.
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Kathy; 27
Sussex, NB
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God I feel awful! Life's a real drag isn't it? I get up, go to work then come home. It's the same depressing scenario day in, day out. Do you think you can manage a date with a pessimistic bore? Call 555-8001
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2.
Prat In A Bowler Hat.
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Greg; 36
Riverview, NB
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Lookin' for a bit of what you fancy? Look no further sweetheart, cos you've found him! I've got a love rocket that'll take you to heaven and back! I'm full of surprises me! Just take a look! They don't come much more hansome than yours truly! Call 'Greg The Governor' 555-8923
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3.
Can you Satisfy A Cigar Smokin' Granny?
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Matilda; North Preston, NS
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Dis is one dame who's gonna tire the sorry ass off ya and make no mistake! I'll scare you young boys so much you'll be running to yore mutha's! My dearly departed husband Derek, God ress his soul has met with tha divine Lord. Shame on him because Madame Matilda has a longing in her loins make no mistake! I'm cravin' for more d' ya hear? Call 555-4434
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4.
I Feel Naughty!
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Gary; 41,
Dagenham, Essex, UK
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Hello I'm a 41 year old Virgin. I'm a bit of a loner actually. I live with my Mother Marjorie. She's a lovely lady. I don't know what I'd do without her! Hee hee! Ooh! I'm feeling really horny right now! Fancy a trip to England anyone? I'll be more than happy to show you my collection of model Aeroplanes! Snigger! Tel: 555-2359
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5.
I Love Sausages!
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Edna; 76, Sussex, NB
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This is a new experience for me. My, how technology has changed! I remember when my husband and I first met. There were no computers then. Now that he's run off with my Cousin's Grand-daughter I feel like a young girl again! Is there a caring fellow out there nice enough to spoil a sausage loving old divorcee like me? I hope so! My dentures are in need of a much needed work out! Call 555-7774
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6.
Stand-Up Comedian.
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Freddie; 50, Moncton, NB
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Hi Boys! Freddie Here! I am SO looking forward to meet you! If only you knew how much! My libido is off the scale right now! I can hardly contain myself! If your my kinda guy (and you guys who know me know what I like!) then you know I'm up for anything come Saturday night! Ho-Ho! That's right baby! Freddie goes berserk! Come play! Let's have some fun! Call 555-3434
Call 555-1277
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7.
Unemployed Single Mother.
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Charline; Dieppe, NB
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These things are stupid if you ask me. I mean who's gonna reply to a unemployed single mother of six! Yeah I'm high maintenance, just ask my landlord! I had to satisfy him on six occasions last week just to buy some baby diapers and cheap cigarettes! What I need is a good fella. Someone to help my kids out and give me half-a-thrill once in a while! Call 555-3253
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8.
Come Join Me On The Dark Side Young Padwans!
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Darth Sidious; Minto, NB
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Yes. Yessss! I see great hatred in you! I can feel your anger! Tis the dark side in you I feel! I hear a symphony of sins playing within your soul. Release your pain. I can help you. I can show you the way! Alternatively if you fancy a quick screw I'd be delighted to oblige! Call 555-2277
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9.
Is It Christmas Already?
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Ruth; Montreal, Quebec
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Jingle bells, Jingle bells... Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cluck-cluck-cluck! I love Christmas don't you? Cluck-cluck! It's always Christmas in my home. Wibble! I'm looking for a cute little elf to share my never ending Noel with! Beep! Beep! Wibble-cluck! Call 555-8934
Call 555-3490
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10.
Over-qualified Immigrant Seeks Wife.
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Chen; Moncton, NB
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New to Moncton area. 27 Year old. I have Doctorate in Physics and Computer Science. A Masters in Bio-physics and Bachelors in Laser surgery. Need western girl to marry so I can find work maybe in local 7-11. Immigration very tough in Canada. Call 555-8989
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11.
Furry White Mouse Anyone?
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Tilda; 26, Toronto, ON
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Hi. My name is Tilda. I reside in the Greater Toronto area and I am seeking a hansome SWM or SBM 25-35 years of age. I love weekends in the country. Walking, riding, going to the movies and cooking everyday household pets. Give me a Call 555-3223
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12.
Sexy, Suave And Single!
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Shawny; 36, Charlottetown, PEI
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Hi... I'm Shawny. You've probably heard of me. I usually go by the name of Shawnia Twayne. Mmm that's right honey. You know me already! Well it's simple. I wanna settle down and behave for a while. My obvious hobby aside I like to balance kitchen utensils on my well-developed chin and enjoy growing big fat cucumbers in my window box during the summer. Call me. I'm waiting! 555-DRAG
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13.
Tooth Fetish Fairy Seeks Man With Big Molars.
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Aline; Dieppe, NB
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Hello. My name is Aline. I am a qualified Orthodontist with twenty-five years of experience. Your pain is my gain! Bring me your teeth and I guarantee we'll hit it off in the chair! Call 555-3456
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14.
What In Gadd's Name D' You Tink Yer Starin' At? Eh?
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Maury; Mumps Island, NFLD
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Jeesuz bye! I'm heffin a hell aff a toime tryin' ter figgurr dis technalagical abamination. Hew in de hell dew ya roight aan dis fing eh? Call me ol' fashond aan what natt but all I wanna dew is foind a femail loik meself to share me twoi lite days wid. Send me a lettur addressed to me Oiland. Ettle git ta me as I'm de anly friggin un aan it!
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15.
Workout Babe Seeks Muscular Male.
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Miki; Memramcook, NB
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Bonjour. Miki ici. J'suis ben battie! J'suis blonde avec des gros muscles. Je workout 24-7. J'suis horny quant je workout. C'est un turn on pour moi! Si tu pense que t' es le gars pour moi appel maitenant! 555-9145.
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16.
Attractive Italian-American-Canadian SWM Seeking Middle-aged Divorcee!
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Nico; Salisbury, NB
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Yo! Nico here! Mambo Italiano! Fast and furious they call me! Hell yeah! Lookin' for some middle-aged hot, horney broad! Mamma Mia's will not be disappointed! I'm a stinkin' rich SOB. My Papa owns a mega Pizzeria chain and some big time workers union in Windsor, Ontario. I wanna own something too, like you! Call now Toots! 555-2223
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| Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors. © Copyright 2002-2006 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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