My Favorite things about Angelfire.
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Angelfire - Free Home Pages
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Lucky 777 Email
My Point is:
Without the word 'yes'; there can not be the word 'no'. Obviously the body has a reason to downregulate hormones. That's why treatment of Diabetes is so difficult with the side effects. The human body is saying 'no' for a reason. Then we tell the body 'yes'; Is that the right reasoning? How about toxology as a reason. Hint. Hint. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Fix the toxology; then you can eat.
One example of a cause that can be cured is by not working the lungs too hard. All the organs of the body make 2ndary hormones. There is no 'pancrease fairy'. That's indegestion. Check the urine to make that jump in reality. We admit on the internet eating L sugar like HONEY will overload the body and make you toxic. The whole problem is that the body is having a problem and it is easy to blame a pancrease fairy. We openly admit people can have liver and kidney problems. What's wrong with getting a person back to type II.
(Below is an example on how to fix if the air we breath is toxic.) If IgE and a Mast Cell attack in the body can cause Lupus:
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How can you help? Think back to how many healthy friends and loved ones died 6 years after a surgery. Now you know why.
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They have the Mentalist on TNT. Here is the same thing. Yes, the web site has low IQ typos. But it has a funny joke. It's actually not spelled Tzuda. The correct spelling is 'Soda'.
All this bogus murder under the wrong spelling. Now that's stupid.
Which is what I have been saying in these blurbs. How can you be so retarded.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This creates an illusion 'complex' to a sick mind; because now Szuda is able to think that knife has intelligence because it kills you. The truth is: A robot is a robot. There is no illusion.
But to MAKE IT FUN FOR A PERVERTED KILLER; a mythology is created with numbers like 666 and 999. Then the mythos of an Italian Fashion Model to be a faggy Antichrist creates drama to this type of weirdo.
All of a sudden MURDER has a MYTHOS that is FUNNY. Creating a 'gay wonderworld'. Note: that only a non speaking chinese RETARD is allowed to be the AntiChrist. That makes being retarded OK. The idea is:
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PostNote: Sorry I have to mention crap like this.]
The public should know regardless of how totally stupid this szuda garbaage is.
Even more stupid is that the spelling is probably Dr. Soda.
PostNote: Off course that is one of the Religions from China. This isn't every value system from China. This is of course not to be pointing a finger at China. They make Dr. Tzuda from a mongaloid with Down Syndrome. (published). Usually a white guy.
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This song is for: "Once Upon a Time, In a Magical Kingdom".
(I thought it was: I won't feed my child Brussel Sprouts when I can feed him pudding.
Although Brussel Sprouts are very healthy, diet jello is probably even better!!!!!)
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**************end of the Music Stuff****************
The children run into the toy store. Yelling and screaming for joy to play on the computers. Somehow the computers at this toy store help the end user that has logged into the computer to learn about toy bears. As most adults would tell you; these computers probably had a specific function only. Not multi purpose. But for the most part that could not be asertained because adults don't play on that type of computer. Without the proper info, it turned out that the adults were wrong.
There is a front door to this toy store that somehow brings joy to children. Adults passing by just see the toy bears, a robot bear in the window, and the computers. The world not realizing that this clearly was a clue to how high tech this toy store really is.
Suddenly, an interdimensional rift opens. 3 figures emerge. 2 appear to be male. 1 is female. I know because the King had a crown like a guy has and the female wore a crown a Queen would wear. The 3rd was Barney from that TV show. From his voice, I assume Barney to be a guy.
Larrs of Omicron Perses 5:Greetings planet Earth children. I am Larrs from Omicron Perses 5. We need the computers to open a Time Doorway. You may have not noticed, but the 'Interdimensional Doorway' that has brought us here is not capable of Time Travel.
I will have Barney explain it to you.
Barney: Doh Dah Doh Dah Doh Dih Dah Dah.
Larrs of Omicron Perses 5:As Barney has explained, you must log off the computer. We need the computers to save the universe.
Sadly the children can't play anymore. The 3 alien beings are much bigger and therefore, an authority figure.
Wife of Larrs of Omicron Perses 5:Quickly hook up the oscilliscope.
Larrs of Omicron Perses 5:Wow this Bear on the login screen looks so cool.
Wife of Larrs of Omicron Perses 5:No time! Let Barney program the doorway. For some reason the computers from planet Galifrey are frying your mind. Perhaps only a childlike mind can use this Time Travel device.
Barney: Doh Dah Doh Dah Dih.
Larrs of Omicron Perses 5:Apparently Barney is communicating with the Time Travel Device in Binary computer code. The oscilliscope shows the computers are in synchronization.
Suddenly, the Time Portal opens and the universe is saved. Unfortunately, the children could not play with computers that somehow help you buy a toy bear until the computers were rebooted. Which was one day later.
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We lost everything to an Evil Witch. So Black was her Heart that:
Light fell thru the hole that leads from our hidden home to world above. We all feared to goto the surface, because the Evil Witch was always angry.
Again I heard the beckon song of a trumpet. I never knew the Evil Witch to play music. She only played dirty and made demands. Because of this I decided to see if the surface world had become safe. For so long I had hidden underground. I was tired of eating Fungi, Algae, and Mushrooms. I longed to see the clouds and sun. I climbed the ladder leading to the outside surface world.
I saw a grass field with butterflies, birds, and trees. Off to the distance was what looked to be a dinner party. I was curious to find out why these people weren't afraid of the Evil Witch. I walked_ into the distance to greet them. To my surprise it was a party with a Giant Rabbit and a Rather Large Otter.
The Otter was smoking a pipe and asked me, "Are you the chosen one?"
I had no idea that an Otter could talk. I replied, "I have no idea what you are talking about."
The Giant Rabbit exclaimed, "Sure. Would you like tea? But! I would prefer if you answer me this question. Will you tell me a poem?"
Because I was suprised at seeing a Giant Rabbit I could only think to say:
I sat down. The Giant Rabbit poured me some tea and gave me a crumpet. Then the Giant Rabbit explained, "You must eat this crumpet. It is a Magic Crumpet. The Evil Witch is very strong and powerful from eating steroids and magic foods. You have a long journey ahead of you. You will need strength for your quest. You must goto Elgar who lives just up the road and get the Gemstone."
I ate my crumpet and I was off to complete the quest. Elgar lived in the forest. Elgar was a Unicorn. With his magic horn Elgar made the gemstone appear in my hands.
I asked Elgar, "What is this for?"
Elgar replied, "I have no idea whatsoever. I think it would be a good plan to just 'fake it'. From what I hear this gemstone is quite magical. It should work. By the way, the Evil Witch is just up the road in her Dark Castle. She knows of your presence. Take courage. You have the gem."
I walked up to the Dark Castle. It was made of stone. Very simular to every Castle you see, but the trees were dead. Probably the leaves burned off from the Magic Dragon. Don't forget that the Evil Witch was always angry and could breath fire too. I went to the entrance of the Dark Castle. Fearing the Evil Witch's power to steal. She was waiting. The Magic Dragon was behind her as backup. I was hoping that if light would shine thru the gemstone, it would act as a laser. Sadly the clouds blocked the sun in this area. Probably that's why it's called the Dark Castle.
The Evil Witch said, "Give me the gem!"
I decided to fake it as recommended earlier. I exclaimed, "Elgar's words ring true then; as they do now! The gem is magic. You must give back all the money you stole and leave this land!"
Then thru the power of the darkest and most black magic of all the Evil Witch said, "Pretty Please." Then the Evil Witch did the eye blink thing. Then to prove how truely horrible and wrong she was; she said, "Pretty Please" again. Also, some more of that eye blink thing.
There was no defense. Society had not invented a comeback to saying Pretty Please 2 times.
I tried to run, but this Evil Witch was so dark, cold, and heartless; she used the power of Aromtherapy to Time Stop me.
The Evil Witch stole the gem not realizing it's power. The gem has the power to beguile you. The gem makes you overconfident. The gem's power bewitched the Evil Witch. The Evil Witch moved to a condo far away on the beach. Never to be heard of again. ...
We rebuilt the villiage. Then we all sang songs in a grassy meadow with butterflies. We even had a few tea parties with a Giant Rabbit, a Rather Large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar.
...
***********End of Part 1 of this Story***********
PreNote: I did some edits. This is a slightly difficult story to write as a fairytale.
Although, there is a reason for the whole thing. In a dream I confused the words 'pixels' and 'spells'. Then I woke up and wondered: How could that make sense. Then I suddenly realized an evil witch was responsible. Then I suddenly knew how the story goes. Although, I am still double checking some of the concepts involved.. This isn't a traditional story. On the morning it happend, I watched TV at night for a few minutes. 'Charmed' was on at 4am instead of 8am. The TV has pixels. Then I remembered about the reality of nice looking person that might be greedy and (or) a witch. That person might be a real California person. Just like the TV show 'Charmed'. Then that Eddy Murphy movie where the money is in a car in San Fransisco. Just like the TV show 'Charmed'. 'Charmed' is in San Fransico too. Then sometimes people say they throw up chunks that look like pixels. Just like the Magic Dragon.
As you can tell, the whole story makes sense. It's just that usually stories like this are in a Fairytale Kingdom. Some of this story takes place in a Condo on a Beach in California. Which is not a traditional Fairytale Kingdom. Also, I personally think the condo is in Malibu Beach California. (In case you are wondering.)
Hence, this story is a bit more difficult to write.
-----End of PreNote. Starting part to the story-----
For some reason those words came to me in a dream. Of course I told the whole village. Especially over Tea, Biscuits, Crumpets, and Danishes. The Giant Rabbit, a rather large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar agreed.
What we didn't know was if we say those words: "When you have too many pixels for your spells, Then you have to make a Rainbow"
Well ??, it so happens that the magic gem was still with the Evil Witch. If you don't know or remember, the Evil Witch is living in a Condo on the Beach in Malibu California; because the magic gem beguils you with confidence. The Evil Witch also knows that all the stolen money of the world is hidden in the trunk of a car in California. Therefore, it's easier to steal the stolen money if you happen to live in California. If you don't happen to remember: the Evil Witch was really into money. Plus from a sidenote: she really would drink too much liquor and pass out on the beach alot in a bikini. (Psst) (>>>> Perhaps that's a bit too much information.)
Am I going to fast ?? .. Don't Worry! I will go even faster. So, to explain the next part you must understand that the Magic Dragon that could breath fire was actually made from a little puppy by the power of a magic wand. Which should seem plausible; if you know about magic wands. The proof is simple: For some delta sufficiently small, the voltera method converges. Since delta can be at the actual operating point, then the whole thing must be true. Everyone at college knows that. (Psst) (>>>>Again too much information. To keep it simple, the voltera proof actually is wrong sometimes. Also, the Dragon used to be a little doggy.)
Since, the Magic Dragon has newspapers on the floor in the condo everything should be OK. Even magic dragons need to be toilet trained. But when the magic gem made a giant rainbow inside the condo. The magic dragon was very nervous and threw up. He tried to throw up and goto bathroom on the newspaper, but instead he threw up:
Well, unfortunately the condo burned down. Luckily the Evil Witch was passed out on the beach. Psst. >>>"I told you she was a drunk."
Suddenly, the mean greedy Evil Witch was broke. Not one penny to her name. Hence, she came back to our village and wanted to steal all the money.
Unfortunately for her, we didn't have any more money.
Instead thru the guidance of the Giant Rabbit, a rather large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar; we all drew with pencil, paper, and crayons drew a picture of a rainbow.
We all showed the Evil Witch pictures of the rainbows we drew.
The Evil Witch said, "Well I suppose I could sell these pictures of rainbows for money to rebuild my condo."
The rather large Otter replied, "Hey Bitch! Haven't you heard of Fire Insurance. Were you born yesterday? That's part of the deal when you buy a condo. It comes with the home association agreement. It's a standard agreement. Everyone knows that."
The Evil Witch said, "Oh."
Then the Giant Rabbit said, "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you have Electricity where you live? Do you wear shoes? Were you born under a rock?"
The Evil Witch said, "Well, I guess by law my condo has to be rebuilt. I could use the drawings of rainbows to pay a few bills."
Then Elgar said, "Or, you could just learn to get along and live here in Peace, Harmony, and Love."
Sadly, the Evil Witch said, "No." Because she wanted to steal the money hidden inside the trunk of a car somewhere in California. Plus she was a total drunk and likes to pass out on the beach in a bikini.
And.. so.. we went back to drawing pictures of rainbows with crayons.
Ironically, the spell was true. We danced and sang in the fields. Then!!! we had tea parties with a Giant Rabbit, a rather large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar.
Which!... .. Of course created a world of peace and love.
Which!... .. Of course created a feeling of postiveness and healing.
Oh come on. You should know this. It rained alot and made rainbows when this happens.
Which of course required the guidance of a Giant Rabbit, a rather large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar.
Because!... .. At the end of a rainbow is a pot of gold. In fact it was alot of gold. Gold is even more expensive than money. We knew to buy extra grassland for the Unicorn. We bought a carrot farm for the Giant Rabbit. We bought a small lake with a river for the rather large Otter. To play it safe we also bought a turnip farm for the rather large Otter and a radish farm for the Giant Rabbit. Although, they both share with the Unicorn.
Then we bought tea and crumpets! And, then we bought pencils, paper, and crayons to make even more drawings about rainbows.
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(PostNote: There may appear to be a hole in the story. In the previous story it is mentioned, "The Evil Witch never to be heard of again." Then we had a tea party. Basically it is still true because the Evil Witch only showed up for 5 minutes and yelled at us. Then she took off to sell the artwork the villiage drew. The statement is a metaphor. Basically it is still true.)
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(PreNote. In the next story it's a different rainbow and different pot of gold. The previous one the leprechauns didn't know about. Otherwise the gold would have been gone. Because the Leprechauns also take the gold at the end of a rainbow.)
(PreNote 2: It turns out that there are 2 ends at a Rainbow. I happend to forget. The Leprecaun on this side was in Las Vegas and won money. It's nearly impossible too win, but Leprecauns have magic powers.)
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(dear hacker. DON'T sir. That's for dumb retards.
Just act nice. ((which some older people don't know. then they ??? sir ??? you. It's bogus logic.))
I did't sir this story. Why? Because this is a Fairy Tale with knights and rainbows and kings and queens.
The Leprechaun is NOT sir noble knight. Please hacker stop. You just don't get it. Write your own story. I am sorry that some hackers are retared, but face it. That was a stupid idea.
Just stay away and write your own story. Got it.)
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I had woken up from a bad dream. I was shambled and knew it would be hard to fall back to sleep. I cleared my
mind and saw a Leprechaun smoking at pipe. He was a small fellow dressed in green. Then he sat on another
person's shoulders.
At this point I may have gotten bored and I fell asleep. Apparently the Leprechaun was in a 2nd story house and
needed to walk down a hall with a wooden floor. Then the Leprechaun opened a door and entered a room. Then the rest
of the dream I forgot.
When I woke up later I decided to talk things out to see why I would draw this conclusion. I went outside to a morning breakfast
in a meadow that happend to be in the back yard of everyones house in our small village.
As usual seated was a Giant Rabbit, a rather large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar. Although Elgar actually was standing, but at
an open spot at the table. Which still left room for me because tables have 4 sides. Everyone knows that. By the way the rabbit's
name is Roger. Also, the otter has a name too. His name is Oscar. Please don't be suprised. There is a long tradition of
rabbits and otters by those 2 names. Everyone knows that too. Although, that information is not always available on Television.
The Giant Rabbit who was smoking a pipe said, "Would you like tea and a crumpet? You seem troubled. Perhaps it could help."
I replied back to the Giant Rabbit who answers to the name Roger, "Yes. I should have some tea and a crumpet. Also, I
do admit that I am troubled. I had a bad dream last night." ___
Oscar the large Otter retorted, "Oh really. It can't be that bad. Maybe if you explain the dream we can figure it out."
I told of course about the Leprecaun and the house and the room.
All at the table, exclaimed: "Remarkable." This is because it appeared some sort of journey was needed to solve the problems
of our tiny village that had been recently burdened by a Witch.
Elgar asked me, "Do you know why we are smoking? It's because we are on a diet. We are running out of crumpets to have with tea. Sure
I got it easy. I can eat the grassland out here. Also, proper knowlege of plants in the wild provides tea. That we have in abundant supply. But??.. I do
sometimes prefer a crumpet. Especially if the crumpet has butter on it. Smoking helps us with food cravings. Although
there can be problems associated with smoking. I personally think it makes people really weird. Anyway while we were
smoking way too much tobacco, we figured something out. Sure enough we knew something was totally out of kilter.__ Perhaps that is why we are prodding
you."
The Giant Rabbit asked, "We have the pieces to your puzzel is there anything else you remember?"
I remember I saw for a brief moment something and replied, "I wasn't sure how you were going to take this comment, but after I
saw the Leprechaun; I saw Mr. Potato Head. He wasn't smiling."
"Which one!" asked the large Otter.
Sadly I had to admit, "Both."
Elgar answered, "That's not to much of a big deal with regards to the Leprechaun. Obviously he was smoking from a pipe from what you
have mentioned. Usually we don't think of Leprechaun's for smiling, but rather for Gold at the end of the Rainbow. On the
other hand your comments with regards to Mr. Potato Head seem quite troubling. Perhaps we should look at Mr. Potato Head and see
what's going on."
"You mean Mr. Potato Head lives here and I didn't know!", I emoted.
"Not exactly", said Elgar, "What I mean is that one of the neighbor kids has a Mr. Potato Head toy and we can check to verify
your story. There are many different types of Mr. Potato Head. It might reveal a clue to solve the puzzel."
Sure enough. When we all checked the Mr. Potato Head; it was one that didn't smile. The Giant Rabbit came up with an idea,
"My. My. I do like a puzzle. I think I am beginning to understand why. I remember yesterday at tea time we were talking about
how Mash Potatoes taste better when you mix them with
The rather large Otter said, "You know boy, we should goto every house in the village with a 2nd story and look for the
Leprechaun."
It turns out that was one hour down the drain. There was no Leprechaun in the village.
Elgar the Unicorn came up with suggestion or a conclusion, "Hmmm. It seems like a Leprechaun living in a village might be unreasonable
or unrealistic. Perhaps your dream is symbolic. Recently we drew pictures of a rainbow. Maybe that makes rainbows when it rains.
Usually it is hard to find the end of a rainbow. This is because at the end of a rainbow is a pot of gold. Many times gaurded
by a Leprechaun. From what I remember from Fairy Tales, usually there is in a forest with a path that leads to the house of a Leprechaun. This house looks or appears almost always like that TV commercial with Keebler Elves. Leprechauns are small enough to live in trees and partially underground."
The Giant Rabbit replied to this comment, "Well then it's settled. We will draw pictures of a Rainbow. This will create a chain
reaction that thru good karma will pull the entrance of the rainbow near the village so that we can enter. Besides I am hungry
for Potato Cakes. I would like to go to solve this puzzel."
The Rather Large Otter also had issues to mention, "Yes. I agree to this decision. Elgar's words ring true then as they do now. We should follow thru and find the Leprechaun."
Apparently that meant this time I would not go alone, the journey might be risky. Besides we can hook up a cart to the Unicorn
Elgar to bring back extra potatoes. ... So, the whole village drew pictures of rainbows with a few extras to buy off the Leprechaun.
Sure enough it was a stormy day and it rained. Elgar, Oscar, Roger, and I entered the rainbow. We rode the rainbow like a
magic slide to the other side. It was a dark black forest with a brown path leading down the road. The pot of gold was almost empty.
The Giant Rabbit requested, "Everyone put some of the gold in your pockets. This leprechaun may not want to buy our pictures
rainbows that we all drew with crayons. He may want some gold. Remember that leprechauns are very greedy. Like the Evil Witch that made
so much trouble."
The rather large Otter mentioned, "Everyone stay on the path. The forest is dark. Very little light makes it thru to the ground surface. Most important
of all there is no running stream nearby and most certainly no pond. Without a pond with a lilly pad and some sort of frog or King
Frog; there can be no 'Ribbot'. 'Ribbot' happens to be a magic word that many animals speak near a pond as a signal. It keeps
an area safe. In this situation we are in a forest without birds chirping and little light. We don't have signals to go by. Also,
the Rainbow doorway won't hold for long."
To this point of consequence we hurried and scrambled down the dirt road. Sure enough at the end of the dirt road was a tree with
a wooden door on it. Apparently, the Leprechaun liked to gather: Turnips and Potatoes.
The Leprechaun at the entrance of the tree that had a mushroom garden and screamed, "Help. Help. Oh my God. She stole my money!"
The rather large Otter replied, "I can only imagine. Please don't tell me it was that evil witch. What where you thinking? We know
she is broke from a Condo House fire on the beach in Malibu California. It's so expensive to live out there on beach front property."
The Leprechaun answered, "No. She didn't tell me about the beach front property in Malibu Beach California. She had a large dragon
and promised me Free Cable and Free Satelite with HBO."
Elgar commented: "That's it? She didn't even offer to clean the house for all the gold at the end of a rainbow? Also, doesn't it
seem odd that she offered cable with satelite?? Why, would you need both?? I think she caught you napping."
The Leprechaun cried, "Well now my magic powers are gone. I have nothing without some gold. That's how Leprechauns make magic. We need gold."
I quickly realized what a great business opportunity; since we were almost out of Crumpets. I politely asked the Leprechaun, "We all have
a few gold pieces that you forgot from the pot at the end of the rainbow. Perhaps we could trade that and these drawings of
rainbows for some potatoes."
The leprechaun smiled and answered, "Is that all you want. I thought you wanted to steal the gold, but the evil witch got that
already. Potatoes I have in large supply. In fact I still owe you 2 cart loads the next 2 times it rains. This side of the
rainbow holds up a bit longer. You should have no trouble getting back home, but don't dilly dally. And, that's not a lilly pad
joke. The forest gets even darker at night and we don't have some sort of magic King Frog that can say 'Ribbot' to help you out in
case of trouble."
So we shook hands on the deal and rode the magic rainbow back to village. Where of course we all had tea some few remaining crumpets and alot of
Potato Cakes with a Giant Rabbit, a Rather Large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar.
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You might wonder why these wives had such unusual names. Usually women have names like Ann, Jane, Jill, and so on. What happen is if you live in a family where you have too many sisters; then the names are a bit different.
Gertrude was the wife of the Giant Rabbit Roger. Roger had a tendency to help with the tea. Although, Gertrude felt this was 'Sexist' because she had to cook the potatocakes.
Helga never wanted to cook. All she did was smoke cigarettes and watch TV. Luckily we all told her, "It's a rerun on the Price is Right". Which it actually was. Eventually in life you realize that watching a rerun is a total waste of time. So we got her to cook too.
Elka didn't want to cook because she felt that Elgar should cook. Elka always complained the Elgar spent too much time in the forest. Then when Elka came home Elgar would take the beer and cigarettes from her purse and watch TV at night. .... You might find that odd but Elka got a job at 7/11 even though she was a Unicorn. And since Unicorns have magic powers it was an easy job for her. Let's face it, 7/11 takes anybody. Which everyone knows. Elgar always mentions that he made a job application for McDonalds, but he can't fit in the kitchen to cook the hamburgers. Cleary the "Not my fault" exuse does apply here.
And so as usual seated at the table was me, a Giant Rabbit, a Rather Large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar. Because it was a picnic there where available spaces at the table. Little did we know that word 'space' might show up a few minutes later.
I had been troubled by symbolism of the dreams and mentioned this to the others. We drew pictures of Rainbows and found a pot of gold, but then in my dream there was a leprechaun with Mr. Potato Head not smiling.
The Giant Rabbit exclaimed, "Here. Here. I have figured something out. There are 2 sides to a Rainbow. We are probably off the hook."
The Rather Large Otter answered, "What do you mean?"
Elgar interjected, "If I may interrupt. What I think that Roger is saying is that we totally took all the gold on our side of the Rainbow without thinking. Luckily there can be many Rainbows and many possibilities. ... Although?, that is troubling that Mr. Potato Head was not smiling. Perhaps you have to leave some money in the Pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow. We just didn't know. ... ?? Hmmm ?? If only we could have a way to arbitrate this to figure it out."
From out of nowhere an invisible cat appeared and said, "I was waiting for you to ask that."
The Giant Rabbit said, "I beg your pardon. Would you like to have some tea with us to explain it?"
"Of course", the cat said, "It's very simple there are basically 2 sides to a Rainbow. Your side was open for grabs. There is a Leprecaun that does visit. He was in Las Vegas gambling. Usually you lose in Vegas, but this Leprecaun had magic powers and won alot of money. He is more into the 'night life'. Not at all into gold. It turns out that you got lucky. Although, sometimes there can be problems when this happens."
The Rather Large Otter asked, "I didn't know cats could talk. ??"
The cat replied, "Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, the world was different. Much different. It was magical. There would be many light rainy days. The grass in the fields grew everywhere. There would be light foggy clouds in the sky. Not too cold. Not too hot. The breeze would flow thru the grass and the fields. It was extremely relaxing. The birds would sing and butterflies would float. People were even friendly to grasshoppers, which would sometimes talk if you were willing to listen. Just like your village there would be tea parties. Sometimes children would have tea parties in the fields. Squirrels and a variety of other animals would sit at open chairs and join in. Even cats."
The Rather Large Otter interjected, "That doesn't explain how you talk as a cat. Also?, why does the teacup levitate into your mouth? I would assume that cats would lap the tea direct from the dish."
I also found that unusual. If you ever have fed a cat or dog, they drink and eat from the dish on the floor.
The cat simply explained, "It's very easy to see why I don't lap the tea direct from a cup or dish on the table. There is a reason why I have antigravity technology that puts the cup of tea direct from the table to my mouth. It's because:
Then the cat looked over his shoulder to the left and said, "There."
Sure enough there was some sort of futuristic box that looked like something on Dr. Who.
Then the cat gloated, "You know this tea is good, but I have had better. Sometimes at the $ Store they carry an expensive brand that you can't get. Also?, where are the Tea Bisquets and Crumpets? I find that very odd. .... You know _?_ ...., I have been listening to you. I know where that car is that has all the stolen money in the trunk. Yes, it is in Northern California, but somebody changed the street sign. That's why the witch can't find it. She is looking on the wrong street. I know what you might be thinking. This a bad idea. Here is my offer. We only take 10 percent of the money from the suitcase. I have a sonic screwdiver. We can pick the lock. On Saturday and Sunday everyone sleeps in. Nothing can go wrong. Plus I have a timeship."
The Giant Rabbit answered, "I don't know. Why only 10 percent? Why not 8 percent or 15 percent?"
The cat retorded, "Again a simple answer. You can ethically take 50 percent. Criminals are stupid; they don't hire book keepers or accountants. Also, 80 percent of the money was stolen 50 years ago. What can you do? The money is almost ready to go out of circulation. Plus the criminals forgot about it. I have the timeship. The other 20 percent of the money is 70 years old. I can spend that in 1950 and buy up stocks and bonds. Money eventually falls apart because it is made up of paper."
Sure enough we all went. It really was a TimeShip. The ship was the size of a phonebox, but bigger on the inside than the outside. Plenty of room for all inside the timeship. The car was a white convertable parked near a beach in Northern California. We quickly got the suitcase on a Sunday Morning thru the use of Time Travel. This is because we left on a Monday and went back in time to a day when people tend to sleep in. Inside the TimeShip we looked at the money. Sure enough the cat was correct. Most of the money was VERY VERY old. Ready to fall apart. The timeship fix'd that, but the date code on the money was old. Most had to be turned in direct to the bank. Money looking that old can't be spent at the store. Therefore, we split it up all equal with the whole village and put any extra in the bank.
Then we went to the $ Store that had a special on exotic high quality Tea. Then with the TimeShip we went to the highest quality crumpet stores world wide.
We decided to follow the cats advice. The whole village relaxed in a grassland meadow on a overcast day when there was a light breeze. Then we all danced and sang with butterflies, birds, grasshoppers, and squirrels in the fields.
Eventually, we needed to take a break from all that. We all had a tea party with crumpets with a Cat that might be a TimeLord, a Giant Rabbit, a Rather Large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar.
**********************************************
The Cat that might be a Timelord looked at me and said, "What do you think? Everyone at the table has heard the story and made comments."
Unfortunately, it was a bit early for me. My cup of tea had not yet taken effect. I had only caught of glimmer of the mornings conversation.
I decided to mention that I was caught napping. Perhaps 'cat napping'. Which we all thought was funny because a 'talking cat' was telling the story. Since, I am not a cat the joke is ironic. Although, the story was very sad.
"Let me recap", the cat said, "There is a poem that goes like this:
The cat replied, "We have tried everything. We can't solve the riddle. We aren't sure exactly where to look. Therefore we need to look outside the box. My King who is 4 generations older than the princess is looking for any solution that might work. .... He has good reason. His DNA is from the princess. Somebody has solved the puzzle, but a Time Paradox is forming. It is to the advantage of our Parallel Universe to solve this. The problems could spill into other Universes."
In case you don't know also seated at the table drinking tea are: A Giant Rabbit, a Rather Large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar.
The Unicorn named Elgar said, "We should go and help solve this issue. There is a reward in gold coins. This could eliminate any previous problems over taking too much money from the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. With the Timeship no one will know we even took any gold. Which could prevent a future Leprechaun problem. The Timeship can also prevent a Time Paradox from spilling into our Universe; if we rescue the princess."
The Giant Rabbit said, "Elgar's words ring true then as they do now. Solving problems and getting things done are what life is about."
The Rather Large Otter answered, "I know that this is something I can help with. Remember that the Dark Knight died many years ago. This seems rather safe to to handle."
We left the tea table sitting in a field in the garden of the back yards of our town, and entered the Time Ship. As mentioned previously, it is bigger on the inside. Although not too big. .... The Cat that might be a Timelord took us thru the Interdimensional Vortex to get us into the parallel universe. Which in 'Timelord Cat Mathematics' is another Galaxy. Just very far away. This makes the physics slightly different, but not too different.
I assumed we were going to land on a planet. Instead we were at a different Interdimensional Vortex. You could see a swirl of glowing gas circling a giant mass. It wasn't like a star field. Instead part of a star map with space junk moving in a glowing circle.
The 'Cat that might be a Timelord' interjected, "Our recon of this area has given us clues that we are near the Time Prison that holds the Princess and Johnny Angel. It is the remains of a great space battle. The Dark_ Knight's ship is the 'Iron Stomach'. There are many blown out space ships in the vicinity. The ships are old and there are many ways to navigate. Now all that's left is a Space Junk Yard. Step 1 is to figure out left or right. To the Left is Black Tea Road. Which is just a line of space ships from a space battle many years ago. ... To the Right is Candy Rock Mountain; which is a bunch of space ships connected in a pattern of a mountain.
Realize back then a space battle was different than the movie Star Wars. Space Ships were 'hooked up together' to make a defensive shield."
The Rather Large Otter said, "I know this one from being an Otter. Otters make things like a water dam. The trick here is that a Spaceship named the Iron Stomach will hide behind a line of space ships to make a road. Mountains really don't have anything to do with your stomach, but tea does."
The 'Cat that might be a TimeLord' replied, "Perhaps. Actually, the Iron Stomach was a spaceship that actually ate other spaceships with a mini black hole as the firing weapon. More like an episoide of Star Trek with the Planet killer. In fact the Iron Stomach was a planet killer. Not exactly a tea drinker."
It took about an hour and the Timeship did detect a planet killer spaceship. Probably it was the 'Iron Stomach'. Certainly a mini black hole could act as a TimeLock.
The Cat that might be a TimeLord exclaimed, "We get to this point all the time. There is a riddle here on this ship in the Navigation Center.
The Giant Rabbit interjected, "How about pudding?"
The cat that might be a timelord tried, but no luck.
The Rather Large Otter and Elgar asked, "Try Jello. It's sounds like a snack food thing."
Again the codeword failed.
I thought to myself? "? Both Johnny Angel and the Princess are in the Timetrap ??? Maybe there are 2 codewords at the same time ??"
The Cat that Might be a TimeLord replied, "Perhaps that's it. We tried every codeword. 'Pudding' is certainly a good guess. Perhaps the words 'Pudding' mixed with the word 'Jello' could open the TimeLock."
We all said at the same time, "Pudding" or "Jello". .... Finally after 500 years the Timelock opened: Johnny Angel and the Princess were free.
With the use of the Timeship we put the Princess and Johnny Angel back in the correct Time Zone. There was a big wedding. Which solved the problem for the king 4 generations later.
The Weddings vows were,
pre note. It usually is wind, thunder, lightning, and rain. Made an edit here.
It was the nicest most relaxing overcast day ever. We all were having a picnic and tea party. We all danced in the field with butterflies.. We sang songs.
We even talked and chatted with a Rather Large Otter, a Giant Rabbit, a Unicorn named Elgar, and Cat that might be a TimeLord over Tea and Crumpets.
Everyone helped clean up. We were almost done and:
The Giant Lizard had a message. He heralded these words:
The Cat that might be a TimeLord replied, "Do you meant a dialect of the word Lost? Are you saying in a different language 'los' as in 'something
that got loose amd fell off your outfit' or 'to leave and get lost'."
The Lizard answered, "Both. As is in something that gets loose and then you can't find it. Also, as in get lost by vacating."
Everyone asked why. The Lizard Heralded, "In 3 days a Giant Frog Army, A regular looking Frog Army, a Giant Lizard Army, and a normal looking
Lizard Army; will be sent here to eat the entire pasture."
The Giant Rabbit told the Giant Lizard Herald, "Every act of kindness can repay with another one."
The Giant Lizard Herald said, "Noble words. I try my best to distract the Evil Witch who transformed me into a Giant Lizard just to warm her cold heart." Then he (the Giant Lizard) drove off
in the convertable sports car back to the Evil Witch in Northern California.
We decided to make a stand against the approaching army. In the middle of the field we quickly dug a lilly pond for a frog. Unfortunately, we couldn't find
a frog at such short notice. So we put the neighbors Mr. Potato Head on a lilly pad in the pond that we made in the middle of the field.
The pounding of footsteps from a marching army drew near. The village greeted the army at the lilly pad and said, "Ribbet." The army had to stop marching because the word 'ribbet' is a safety signal to let you know a bog or pond is nearby.
The King Frog of regular size who was sitting on a Giant Frog said, "Who dares say Ribbet?"
The Rather Large Otter replied, "All of us. I was wondering where you were. Actually that lilly pad should be for you, but because you were busy
Mr. Potato Head is sitting on the Lilly Pad in the Pond. Therefore actually he (Mr. Potato Head) is actually responsible."
The King Frog of regular size who was sitting on a Giant Frog said, "Mr. Potato Head. Yes I know him well. A good friend to all."
Elgar the Unicorn mentioned:
I got the Giant Frog Princess, I knew because she wore a crown and had on a pink dress with a poka dotted top on. While hugging she licked me on the side of my face.
I said, "What is that for?"
The Giant Frog Princess answered, "I had to test you for bad germs. Besides you get that Fairy Tale wrong. Actually the Frog has to kiss you."
Then the Giant Frog Princess turned into a regular size frog Princes. The crown and outfit shrunk too. Apparently that's what she was wearing before
the Evil Witch turned her into a Giant Frog."
The King Frog exclaimed, "We thought that might work. It broke the evil spell. Now we don't have to live in the Dark Castle that was previously the home of the Evil Witch.
We can all just live in the forest or go back home. Don't forget; the Giant Lizards need to break the spell too."
Of course we all quickly moved the Lilly Pad Pond to the edge of the forest. Then poured tea and passed out crumpets so that:
**************
Seated at the table was:
You did meet me over the potatocake issue, but today is the day you visited me. Not 2 months ago.
A computer optimization program made the decision to change this part of the TimeLine.
Part of the reasoning is Elgar can Teleport. This is because he is a Unicorn. Also, because your Oscar the Otter and Roger the Rabbit are both magic animals that can also help.
The TimeLord Cat will be needing our help in about 10 minutes."
"What?", I exclaimed. ......??? ...... ??? ......
The King Frog said, "Since Mr. PotatoHead is busy Meditating; then perhaps I can explain it.
You see, one day it was extremely windy off wth coast of Hawaii. It just wouldn't stop. A couple with a sailboat got stranded on a small Island. The island was too small for humans, but had a beach and a small cave.
Living in the cave were many frogs, and me. As the King Frog I sometimes can grant a wish. The couple wished to be off the Island. I have only limited wish and teleportation powers. Therefore, I was only able to send the couple to a nearby island.
That island was a Tropical Paridise with food, shelter, and clothing. The couple fell in love on that island and got rescued 3 weeks later.
That doesn't seem to be problem. So that you know, it isn't. Although there is 1 minor technicality, there is some military communication equipment on the island. The UN for safety purposes has asked the Cat that might be a TimeLord to:
We all agreed to help. Within a minute the radio rigged to a light triggered, giving the signal of trouble.
The Leprechaun with his magic wand used the beacon to get us to the main room of the Timeship.
Unfortunately, another Cat was waiting. Immediately, this cat gave off the impression that he was Anti-parallel Universe Cat because his body gave off static electricity. He said, "I am also a Timelord, but from a different Galaxy. I am neither friend nor enemy to you or your Cat TimeLord.
The issue is different. Which is money. You see, this is a salvage operation. Not big in money, but big in Inter-Galactic Trade negotiations.
Our Universe or far off Galaxy wants to bid.
Off course your planet is not ready for another 10,000 years for TimeTravel and stuff like that. We don't care. .... Your Cat TimeLord friend does. I am a hard negotiator. Now your Cat TimeLord is in a TimeTrap. And yes, I put him there with my Timeship.
I remember the last time this happend both your Elgar and Leprechaun could solve the problem. You basically have a Giant Easter Bunny with a Large Otter that can help. I don't want trouble. I just want to bid on your Planet Earth."
The Leprechaun spoke, "All off us here have magic wands and magic keys. Do you want the challenge???"
The Parallel Universe Anti-Matter Cat TimeLord said, "No. I will back down as before. The contract isn't worth very much money anyway."
And with that the Parallel Universe Anti-Matter Cat TimeLord went into his timeship and left.
The Cat that might be a TimeLord said, "Thank You."
The next stop was the UN. The Island coordinates were given and the Island was determined to be safe.
We wondered if we should have a Tea Party on
Gilligan's Island, but Cat that might be a TimeLord said, "There is no place like eating a crumpet at home with your friends. Let's put it to a vote." We all gladly decided:
To have the party with all our friends in a field with a light relaxing breeze on our face. With a Cat that might be a TimeLord, a Giant Rabbit, a Rather Large Otter, a Unicorn named Elgar, and a King Frog watching off in the distance sharing a lilly pad with a Leprechaun and Mr. PotatoHead.
******************************
(I am working on a longer that 10 minute story, but I have writer's block.)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
2 months later I realize there are 2 magic forests. The cat is going to learn keyboards or xylaphone. The cat finds a unicorn to get to the 2nd magic forest. ... Also, the people are very nice and all help clean the area after having a big music festival. .... I just can't piece it together. At this point the ideas are for a really simple story. Not exactly a story made out of Elmer's Wood Glue or Jelatin.
In case anyone does read, I will try eventually.
The problem is that I need to explain why it is a
magic forest. That reason is because I believe those
things do happen in the real world.
I have writer's block over that.
**************************************
I also have the writer's block because I see 2 different
futures for me. They both are not happening, but
time and distance are related. "Teriti Organum" (sp)
************************
The idea is to link urban meglamania with Tulip Flowers
from Holland. The Leprechan in the band makes medicine
and grows Tulips. Some at the North Pole. Some in outer space.
****
I don't know enough about Tulips. But I am working on it.)
(Also, a duck or a goose helps with the band. I don't know why but
I forgot that a duck attends tea parties. Perhaps the concert will
have dogs for security. The dogs will demand that people going eat
crumpets and soy hamburger's.)
(Still working on this one.)
********************************************
*****************************
Days passed and endless freezing rain. Everyone drenched in mud and cold. Chocolate bars doesn't fix that. We were waiting to die, but the general wasn't giving orders. Assumed to be dead. The sergeant was missing in action. The lieutenant was faded into the distance and long gone. Officer's tend to be targets of sharp shooters. With the extreme rain it was impossible to move staff or troops. Although as soon as it stopped raining, a new general would have orders for over the top. Which meant to launch an offensive that would help end the war.
While waiting, we read the old mail. Jim's girlfriend had left him. He went crazy and wanted to die. He went over the top and ran straight into the enemy line and got shot. Many had tried to break the enemy line. There were so many dead that you could almost hide behind the bodies, but there was no out. No way to win. We were stuck in time without hope.
Meanwhile. Cal was sleeping in the Generals quarters. The only place in the trenches that wasn't wet. And day in and day out in that early spring we froze in cold rain. But Cal had it good. Although he was a private with no business in the Generals quarters; he was a 'look out for number 1' type of guy. He even had a coal oven to keep warm. We just froze. To make it simple; everyone hated Cal. We had a running bet on when Cal would be executed for treason. But Cal didn't care. He took the Generals morphium and booze to sleep thru the endless days of rain.
Then one day it happend. The rain stopped. Soon vehicals could move and the new General would show up. But so did Cal. He woke up and got out of bed and addressed his fellow soldiers, "Hey guys. We are out of amunition because everything is wet. There is a good chance the enemy is out of ammo too. I have a plan. Let's go over the top and make victory."
Rich was the acting officer by vote since officers tend to be targets in war. Rich angrily replied, "Who are you to give orders, and by the way? Who the hell are you to think it is OK to wear the Generals clothes, medals, and guns??"
Cal replied, "It's a 'me' type of thing. I already know you are going to narc me out for sleeping in the Generals quarters. But if I go over the top; then I have a chance. These guns are good. The ammo I have is good. Sadly I only have enough guns and ammo for me, but you have bayonnets. I think today is the day to get lucky."
Alot of "piss off" from the few British soldiers in trenches, and the fellow Americans didn't seem to agree. A few did say they would think about it.
Cal wouldn't go for that. Then he jumped Over the Top, and yelled: "I'm Captain America!" Although he was wearing the outfit of a General loaded with medals.
Cal was right. The ammunition on both sides was wet. The enemy didn't have time to resupply. Cal just ran straight into the machine gun fire. Wet ammunition can jam and backire. Which back then usually killed the gunner or gunners. It was if Cal was winning without even shooting. We all couldn't believe it. Slowly, we all followed over the top. The odds didn't favor Cal from the numbers, but we were wrong. Everyone was out of bullets. Almost no one could shoot except for Cal. He gunned down everyone he could. Eventually even he ran out of ammo from his machine gun; then he used his revolver to shoot the enemy General. As luck would have it; the enemy General was the only other guy with working ammo. Cal quickly took advantage and took the guns and ammo from the dead general. All we heard were screams and smoke, but soon saw the enemy running in retreat.
We didn't even have to bayonnet too many guys. Cal did almost all the work. The new General did show up a week later. As well as the secret weapon known as the tank. We achieved the objective. The tank did the rest. The hard times were over. It was easy street for the rest of the war!
Ironically in war many sins are forgiven. We all got a promotion in rank! And, for the rest of the war; we had to solute Cal as: "Captain America!"
.
------------------------------------
.
I may be a toad. But don't kiss a frog and expect him to turn into a prince.
I believe you get:
I believe:
Not everyone you meet believes in everything on that list.
They make it back to earth but the ship is damaged. The cronometer reads '20 century'. All systems are down with low power. The Enterprise can only beam down 2 people and then the dilitheum crystals are burned out. Spock and Kirk beam down to earth and hope to find spare parts and somehow use the space shuttle to get the parts to the Enterprise without disrupting the timeline.
Spock and Kirk beam down to an alley in New York.
Spock: Thanks alot!
Kirk: I thought we could pull it off.
Spock: Who really gives a flip what you think?!
Kirk: If we get parts, we can timetravel to fix it.
Spock: The calculations will have to be exact. By the way did you notice that we are in a garbage can filled with refuse?
Kirk: I just see computer paper with passwords and corporate data on them. Maybe we can find some TV sets to build a communicator!
Spock: So this is it. To fly halfway around the Galaxy, and to end our journey in a trash can. That's it! Garbage! The Final Frontier!
Kirk: Spock. We can fix it. This society does not recycle. We can build a garbage information highway for money!
Ending Info: Kirk and Spock form a company with bums that looks in the garbage cans for high tech garbage. Things such as old computer parts and corporate information on computer paper. It earns some money, but politics is good for Kirk too. Summary: Kirk becomes the Antichrist. With this power he and Spock fly the Space Shuttle with repair parts to the Enterprise. They fix the ship. Then they fly 'THE OTHER WAY AROUND THE SUN'??? to time travel to the day before Kirk messes up. Hence the timeline is fixed and it is all OK!!!!!
Click here to listen
Click here to listen
Actually the last one did not really count. The Evil Witch had a Magic Dragon that could breath fire. After she stole all the money, the Magic Dragon burned the village. To keep it simple; she was in fact:
She had a magic broom. She ate steroids to remain young. She had access to magic food, but the Evil Witch never shared. For good food cures problems.
The Giant Rabbit retorted to the Rather Large Otter, "Yes. I think that's how the poem goes. He probably is the chosen one."
Where X is some arbitrary number. Everyone that has taken Algebra 101 knows that.
The Magic Dragon was only magically transmuted from being a puppy and didn't really know what to do. On accident the Magic Dragon flapped his wings breathed fire on the money. ... To get rid of the evidence from barfing on the money.
The sage helps with the breathing and is very healthy. Unfortunately we are out of potatoes. Also, I remember if somehow we cook
the potatoes like 'Hash Browns' it would be like a potato pancake and it would taste better. From what I know of Leprechauns this may be related to your dream."
Elgar answered, "Now I have heard everything. Where is your ? Timeship ? ".
Things get lost over time. What we do know is:
I answered, "I suppose you are from that Kingdom and are recruiting help, but why??"
We have tried words like oatmeal, pizza, jello, and ect."
We still all had plenty of money. We danced in the in fields. We drank tea and ate crumpets with a Cat that might be a TimeLord, a Giant Rabbit, a Rather Large Otter, and a Unicorn named Elgar.
Soon things calmed down and everyone was smiling again. We all went to bed early that evening. The next day we all cleaned up. A Herald showed
up from the Witch that used to live in the Dark Forest in her Dark Castle. Apparently, at her condo in Northern California there are many lizards.
The Evil Witch used her evil powers to turn a lizard into a Giant Lizard. Then she gave him her car keys and he drove to where we are.
No one knew the answer to that one. The Giant Lizard looked at his watch to pass the time for a while. Then the Giant Lizard said to all: "Los".
The King Frog retorted, "Yes I have heard of you Elgar from afar. Elgar's words ring true then as they do now. We will try also. Although for
safety issues you will put this lilly pad pond at the edge of the Dark Forest for safety reason. The Evil Witch has a Castle in the Dark forest. The Giant Lizards and
Giant Frogs need more room. Since the Castle is 'empty' now that the Evil Witch lives in Northerm California that should be no problem at all.
The Dark Forest has plenty of room for rest of the army which consists of normal sized lizards and normal sized frogs as myself. Although an
'Accord' or 'Agreement' has not been reached until you all hug a Giant Frog.
With a Cat that might be a TimeLord, a Giant Rabbit, a Rather Large Otter, a Unicorn named Elgar, and a King Frog watching off in the distance on a lilly pad.
The leprechaun answered, "If I may, I would like to answer. You see this is the day you really meet the Cat that might be a Timelord. This is because the timeline is altered. Everything did happen as such over the last 2 months, but only 2 months later from today.
Well now we are up to speed. The last time this happend the Cat that might be a TimeLord had problems. We have a signal device that will let us know when to step in and help. The Leprecaun or Elgar the Unicorn can teleport us to the Timeship when beacon on the table gives the signal. The Leprechaun can do most of the work with his magic wand, buts wants some backup to deal with problems. Hopefully everyone will help the TimeLord Cat who is our friend."
After that you have an economy.
