Can't Have You

Chapter Thirteen

Later that day,

"Have you guys seen Nick around?"

"Yeah...What did happen to him? The last time we seen him was when we left the hospital but after that we never saw him."

"He came in about 20 minutes ago. He looked kinda sad." Amanda answered

"This is my fault. I'm gonna go talk to him."

"Alright."

I slowly made my way up to Nick's room. When i got there, I didn't know whether I should knock or what I should say. After a few moments I knocked on his door.

"Who's there?"

"It's Mel."

"What do you want?"

"I have to talk to you."

"Go away. I don't want to talk to you or anyone else right now."

"Please Nick?" I waited a couple of minutes but heard no reply so i decided to leave. But before I did, I said what I've been dreading to say. I figured if he didn't want to talk then it was over. I didn't want to give him up but how could I be with him if we can't even talk? "I wish that things between us was different. I hate to see the way things are right now. But you did break up with Mandy a couple of days ago and I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to know that deep down you DON'T really love me and that it was just mixed feelings. I just think it's moving way too fast. I know I'm rambling now. I just want to tell you I'm sorry. I truely really am sorry. I love you with all my heart but something tells me that we can't be together. I hope you understand. Maybe one day we can get together and be happy, but from the look of things, I don't even know if we're friends or not. I wish you the best of luck in your career and the rest of your life. Good bye Nick. Remember, you hold a special place in my heart. I love you." I finished the last few words and walked away from him and away from everything that was keeping us together. It was a sad moment and as I walked away tears swelled up in my eyes. I gave one look back and walked away for good. I knew it would be a long while before I come up to his floor again.

Nick...

Just as she finished her words, I opened the door to tell her that I loved her too and that I wanted us to be friends. I wanted to tell her that I loved her since the day we met. I wanted to tell her that she was the one and the only one I wanted. But to my surprised she wasn't there. I stepped out of my room and looked both ways down the hall. I saw her standing there, tears spilled over eyes and she looked so sad. I wanted to run to her and hold her in my arms. I would keep her from all the dangers and never let her go. But I couldn't seem to move. She gave me a last look and walked away. Away from me, away from us being together, away from everything and lastly away from my life.

The Next Morning...

"Hi everyone."

"Hey Mel. What are you doing here? You're suppose to be resting."

"Yeah well, things got boring up there by myself. So I decided to come down and watch you guys for awhile."

"Lucky you.."

"Alright guys...Back to work. Time's awasting." Groans were heard from all over the table. Slowly they all made it back to the stage where they began dancing again. I followed them and sat in one of the nearby chairs. I listened to the guys' voices and watched them dance to "Back To Your Heart". I tried to focus on what they were doing but it was so hard. My mind kept drifting off and when I snap back to reality I didn't know what they were doing. Occassionally I find myself staring at Nick. He acted so happy around the guys but inside I knew that he was crying his eyes out. I couldn't live knowing that I was the one who did this to him. I wanted to take him back into my arms and tell him I was sorry and that we had a chance but my heart was telling me that it wasn't possible. Going out with Nick Carter would cause more pain for me. I held back tears as I thought about the situation that Nick and I were in. As hard as I tried, I couldn't hold the tears back anymore and a single tear trickled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and turned my attention back to the guys. After about 3 more songs everybody was released. Everyone came to where I was sitting and collapsed into the chairs surrounding me. Everyone that is but Nick who was leaving the room.

"Frack where ya going?"

"Upstairs."

"Why? Come hang with us for awhile."

"I don't think so Bri. It hurts me too much?"

"Hurts him to hang with us? Man what's with him?"

"It's my fault."

"What are you talking about hon? You know he loves you."

"Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"Don't say that he loves me."

"Well he does!"

"No he doesn't."

"ANd you would know this because..."

"Yesterday when you guys left to get the car Nick told me he loved me and that he wanted for us to be together."

"See? What's wrong with that?"

"As much as I love him, I told him we couldn't..."

"You what?!" they asked in unison.

"I told him we could never be together."

"But why Mel? I thought you love him."

"I do."

"Then why did you say no?" I shook my head and paused a moment before continuing.

"I think the guys and Nick needs a talk. So we're just gonna head up there and you try to cheer her up K?"

"Alright."

"Ok Mel...spill your guts out cause you're not going anywhere for awhile."

"You know how Nick broke up with Mandy 2 days ago?"

"Uh-huh."

"That was part of the reason why I told him we couldn't be together."

"I don't get it."

"Don't you see? Nick only loves me because I was the only female who he was with the past couple of days. It was easy fpr him to forget about Mandy and move on. He can't love me. It's not possible. I don't want to find out that he doesn't love me cause it's really gonna hurt in the end."

"But Mel, that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Like Brian said, Nick said he really liked you. Can't you just give him a chance? You can't push his love away because of some theory."

"I'm not pushing him away. It's just that I don't want to get hurt again. I refuse to let it happen again."

"We won't let it happen again. If Nick says he loves you then go for it. I mean he is a good guy. Finding out the truth may clear the air between you guys. Whatever happens I'm behind you 100%"

"SO are we Mel. You have nothing to lose! Just give him a chance."