Poems about my motherMy mother, Nancy Deal, died on June 30, 2009, at the age of 80, after a long struggle with Parkinson's disease. She was a lovely, vibrant, friendly, cheerful person, and I miss her so much. Though the decades I've written a few poems about her, and I'd like to share them here. Some of these are also on my main poetry page.
Return to HomeReturn to top of pagereturn to contents Heirlooms I sit with my mother and watch the stars, Vega, Polaris, and Antares, Remembering the little one She was, before I had begun. Beside the sea, in a summer then, She learned from the mother of a friend: Casseopeia's a W, Corona is a C, Scorpio hangs in the southern sky, A mighty tail has he. The Northern Cross is a flying swan, The Dipper is a bear, Draco coils about the pole, And Pegasus is square. We sit together, my mother with me, A thousand miles from that fair old sea, But stars don't change, and there they be, Out of her childhood and taught to me: Draco coils about the pole, And Pegasus is square, The Northern Cross is a flying swan, The Dipper is a bear, Scorpio hangs in the southern sky, A mighty tail has he. Casseopeia's a W, Corona is a C. Karen Deal (Robinson) March 17, 1975 return to contents The Bridge of Time for my mother By starlight and water flowing, We stood on the Bridge of Time. Memories were surging through the night, From your life into mine. Parents and grandparents, children and grandchildren Stretch in an endless line Whenever we stand in the night together, On the Bridge of Time. And all the times are one time, All rivers reach the sea, And all the nights are one night When you stand here with me. Beside the ocean long ago You shared the night with me, And still the Thompson River runs Down to that distant sea. Karen Deal Robinson Mother's Day, 1992 return to contents Tuesday Night Folk Dance at the Empire Grange Willow branches dark Against the starry summer sky, My mother holds my arm, her cane Trembles on the tiny rocks. One slow shuffling step, Then another Across the willow-shadowed, Crunching gravel parking lot. Above us in the night Diamond-bright windows. Through the open doorway pours Light and music, Drums and laughter, Feet dancing on a wooden floor. Outside in the dark We reach the stairs: Four steep stone steps, Up to the lighted doorway. Her trembling hand Reaches for the rail. Her trembling cane Reaches for the step. Up, foot! At last the foot obeys. One step conquered, three to go. I stand behind her To catch her if she falls. Up, foot! Another step mounted. Up, foot! She stands on the third step, Looking into the doorway. But the last step, Up onto the wooden floor Is the hardest, The steepest, And the handrail ends. In the lighted ballroom, Deryl turns and sees us. Lorraine and Linda see us. Smiling, they hurry to the doorway. Hands reach out into the darkness, Pull her up into the light, Into song and laughter and love. Heaven, if there is a Heaven, Must be like this moment: Old friends, like angels Reaching out, Down into the darkness, To pull us up into the light Into song and laughter and love. I tell them of my fancy; Lorraine laughs. “You’ll wait a long time If you’re waiting to see me in Heaven.” I didn’t have to wait so long: Heaven is here and now, Where angels leave their dancing, And reach out into the dark. Karen Deal Robinson August 10, 2006 return to contents Sailing Away The twilight flows in Through the big picture window. The moon, like a boat, Is sailing the sky. The bright evening star Is leading it onward: A picture as fair As an old lullabye. She sits in her wheelchair For hours by the window, Watching the moon And the star’s golden light. Though her body is failing Her spirit is soaring, Sailing away In the deep purple night. When she was a child, She lived by the ocean And gathered the waves With her shovel and pail. But when she grew up, She moved to the prairie And dreamed of the waves Where her spirit could sail. When I was a child, She taught me the star-rhyme: “I wish that I may, And I wish that I might.” But the sweetest of wishes Are the ones never answered, The longing as rich As the blue evening light. What is she wishing, Tonight by the window, Watching the moon And the star sailing by? Though her body is failing, Her spirit is happy, Sailing away In an old lullabye. --Karen Deal Robinson March 12, 2009 (describing the evening of February 27, 2009) Here's the tune.Hear the above song sung here. return to contents Nancy Anne “Oh, it’s OK, Sweetie, it’s OK.” The young nurse held me close. Her name was Nancy Anne, my mother’s name. She couldn’t know the prayer I’d prayed. The young nurse held me close. The pain was still so new She couldn’t know the prayer I’d prayed: “I’m sorry, Mom, so sorry we let you go.” The pain was still so new, Ashes floating down the river to the sea. “I’m sorry, Mom, so sorry we let you go. Send me a sign; let me know it was OK.” Ashes floating down the river to the sea. Her name was Nancy Anne, my mother’s name. “Send me a sign; let me know it was OK.” “Oh, it’s OK, Sweetie, it’s OK.” Karen Deal Robinson July 8, 2009 return to contents The Fox at the Window It was in the month of May And the old folks they were ailing. We were worried and blue, didn’t know what to do When we saw their strength was failing. And we lay in bed, and we prayed and said “God, please help us find beauty.” Then a fox overhead, right above our bed, Sang in our bedroom window: “Don’t be afraid and don’t be dismayed, Keep your ears and your eyes wide open. Run through the night and sing to the Light,” Said the fox that sang at the window. It was in the month of June And my mother lay a-dying. We sat by her bed and we stroked her head And we could not keep from crying. But all night long I sang her songs As she slipped away in her sleeping, For the fox’s song still kept me strong And the courage it was keeping. “Don’t be afraid and don’t be dismayed, Keep your ears and your eyes wide open. Run through the night and sing to the Light,” Said the fox that sang at the window. It was in the month of July And we walked in a mountain meadow And my mother’s voice made my heart rejoice As she smiled through my memory’s window. And the fox that we’d seen around our house Seemed to have gone away now, But the fox’s song still kept me strong For I knew what it would say now: “Don’t be afraid and don’t be dismayed, Keep your ears and your eyes wide open. Run through the night and sing to the Light,” Said the fox that sang at the window. It was in the month of August And the church was filled with flowers. And the people there came to love and share My mother’s sweetest hours. And just before the preacher spoke We looked out of the window... And a fox looked in with a foxy grin That said “She’ll always love you.” “Don’t be afraid and don’t be dismayed, Keep your ears and your eyes wide open. Run through the night and sing to the Light,” Said the fox that sang at the window. Karen Deal Robinson August 19, 2009 return to contents Nancy on Longs Peak In a blurry, faded photograph She stands upon a mountaintop, One hand waving high. A silly straw hat on her head, The world a carpet at her feet, Behind her, only sky. Sweater like a long white robe, Bright blue jeans and battered boots That strode each mountain mile. Face a smudge behind dark glasses: Shadows of her hat and scarf Almost hide her smile. Now she’s gone I can’t help seeing Clouds spread out like angel wings As she waves goodbye. Or maybe it’s a wave of greeting, Across the worlds a welcome meeting, One hand waving high. --Karen Deal Robinson December 21, 2009 Return to contents A memorial rosaryThis isn't really a poem, but I thought it belonged here as well as on my prayer beads page. After my mother died, we found a strand of beads she had asked me to make for her. They were in the pattern of Erik Wikstrom's UU beads. She carried them in her purse for years, though she never shared with me if she used them for prayer or meditation. I decided to write a memorial rosary for her, using some of her favorite quotes. This idea could be adapted to create a memorial for anyone. Here is the one I made for her: Centering bead: Entering beads:
First large bead: I remember you, Mom, at church and other gatherings. [pause to remember times with friends]
Small beads: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. Second large bead: I remember you, Mom, at folk dancing. [pause to remember times spent dancing]
Small beads: When you have reached the mountaintop, then you shall begin to climb. Third large bead: I remember you, Mom, in the mountains. [pause to remember times spent hiking]
Small beads: In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. Fourth large bead: I remember you, Mom, at the beach. [pause to remember times at the beach] Returning beads:
Centering bead: Thank you, Mom, for all you have given me. You have always been there for me, and you are still with me. I love you. [December 29, 2009] return to contents copyright 2009 by Karen Deal Robinson Click on the mountaintop to see my other pages. |
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