3/1/02
ya know what? I like people.. they're very interesting and human nature is one of the most complex things. I sometimes wonder whether we play a part in our destiny and to what point is our lives figured out for us. I believe in fate but I also believe in human intervention, for example, in our lives there are two constants, were born, and we die, point a and point b. But what makes each person so unique and interesting and where fate and human choice come into effect is HOW you get to point b from point b. Maybe you'll take a shortcut and die young, maybe you'll travel down the straight and narrow, but for me, I intend to take the scenic route. What I really don't understand is prejudice people, It is so inconceivable for me that a person would willingly close out and ENTIRE group of people when everyone, EVERYONE is an individual. Yes, I understand that there are stereotypes, and quite often people from that group fit that stereotype, but are you willing to judge them on their appearance and give up meeting someone new, with new insights to add, a new point of view? What are you so afraid of? Remember your heritage but don't dwell on it There's something else I don't understand, how can one race, religion, gender, etc.. say that is superior than another? Religion can be so easily corrupted, and used for such evil purposes, and why is it they always seem to think that that ONE religion out of the thousands of other religions on the planet is the 'true' religion? That makes absolutely no sense. Religion exists for everyone on their OWN level, how you choose to worship God(s) or live with out them is personal, and that's how it should be. This world is very strange, for all the differences there is, people are essentially the same, we're all born, we all die, we all love, we all hurt, but its different for each person. Enjoy people for who THEY are not who or what you think they should be.
*berry
4/15/01 Well, hello! So, you've found my site through something somehow and, if you ask me that is pretty amazing. Give yourself a big hug! (or not, you know if you're just too cool) Well, this is what I have done over my spring break. I was going to get my nose oierced and, everything was ready to do it, I knew the place, the price, had the parent permission, etc. etc... and then, I find out... I'm not old enough!! I was so mad, just when I got myself completely psched up about ti and everything and I got to the point where I knew I wasn't going to chicken out, boom, I have to wait 3 monthes (yep folks, its 3 monthes away form my 16th birthday, and I have to be 16 to get it pierced...gggrrrrr!) Anyways, Thats about it for now... I should probably tell you a little more about myself but, I think i'll keep that for another time, I don't want to scare you off just yet.. lol Until next time, this is Berry saying, don't try to cover someones mouth if their tongue is sticking out. *Berry
4/20/01 well, today is 4/20 and i'm at school, 3rd period... there was supposedly a huge threat with a hitlist going around at my school, but so far nothing has come of it.. i'm not surprised... it there was this much of a hype, who would be stupid enough to pull something???? But, it just goes to show how many cowards there are at my school.. there were 9 people in my english class this morning... its also senior ditch day so, as you guessed my school or normally about 1500 is now down to about 500 today... which is actually pretty cool... less stupid people to deal with... Anyways, i'd better hurry up and fisnish this post because the period is almost up and i'm off to the next virtually empty class.... Until next time, this is berry saying, if you're bored on 420 and decided not to get stoned out of your brains, don't shoot up your school.. everybody IS expecting that....... *Berry...... don't kill too many brains cells now, ok people??
4/26/01 Hello all.. . don't you just HATE oral reports.. the whole getting up in front of a class with everybody watching you and half the people who don't have enough braincells to watch without their MOUTH HANGING OPEN.... i mean, whats up with that..... do you have a muscle control problem or something, or are you hoping something will fall into your mouth and make you smarter.... oh.. I know what it is, you're seeing if you can catch that fly.... tthhhaaatttss it, isn't it... ok, well, that probably makes no sense at all... but thats ok.. I just sat through 4 HOURS OF TESTING!!! whats the hell is the point of that?? I mean sitting there that long even makes normal day classes look good.. thats pretty sad... Well, thats about it for now... hhhmmm... is it just me, or librarys supposed to be quiet?? this one sure the hell isn't.... well, this is Berry sayin... sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell... stay goaty everybody...... *Berry*
4/30/01 Wowsers... Just did a HUGE site makeover... tell me what you think... Some parts of it still don't quite match, but they eventually will.. just be patient! stay goaty.. *Berry*
5/2/01 Why do people have to have companionship?? I mean, we all take it for granted, or if we are lonely, we're wanting for someone, but really, when you just think about it for a moment.. why?? As you can probably tell, i'm a little bit lonely right now, which i'm sure sounds really stupid but, everyones been here, they just liketo forget it. Especially when its the kind of lonliness that comes from the feeling that nobody really knows you.. or those that really know you are too far away to confide in.... i think that might be the worst kind of aloneness.. knowing that there is someone there, someone eho really cares and is there to comfort you but they're too far away too be reached... like grasping at tufts of grass on the edge of a precipice that is your own despair and lonliness... knowing they're there to help you to hold onto like those tufts of grass is comforting in a way, but just not substancial enough to grasp onto, seeming to come apart in your hands..... but eventually after falling and falling you come to a landing where you can go no further down, and there is nothing else to do but make your way back up... even though the fall hurts, time will heal it.Well people.. this is berry depressed yes, your luvable goat girlie does get depressed sometimes despite her cheery and bright outer appearance... but everybody does, unless of course you're just one of those scary positive upbeat people...;) Sometimes I think i hide behind a mask most of the time,a mask of silliness and humor and seemingly self-confidence, but really i am so incrediably unsure of myself... its kinda strange actually... i guess i'm just afraid that if i'm not always fun and happy nobody will want to be around me... What do you think, if you've read this far in this entry, you must be very understanding for just writing me off as a depressed freak.. what do you think, am I an OK person... am I worth being friends with? Or am I closed minded and selfish and self centered and transparent as so many people I see in my life? Are we all just completely shallow and selfish people running around doing good actions that don't involve our heart, without feeling, doing things contemplating what we might recieve from it in the end? But really everything we do is with the idea in mind what we might get in the end.. its just what we want that makes us glaringly selfish.. we befriend and love someone for their love and friendship in return, We give compliments to people in order to look better under their eyes and...and.. i'm not sure exactly what i'm saying anymore, and truthfully i'm not sure what i wrote, this is just raw emotions and thoughts pouring out of me, and at the moment they are sittling like a lump of clay, waiting to form something substancial and useful that can be recognized.. i dunno.. i'd better stop... luv you all... *Berry
DAMMIT what the hell.. i am having such a bad day today.... I hit my snooze too many times and had to rush, while in the shower, I got apricot scrib in my eye (do you have any idea how much that hurts??) ran out of hot water, then didn't have anything to wear.. after finding my overalls, and throwing them on, I couldn't find my flip-flops so am stuck with damn platforms, then, I have to take a damn vocab test that i forgot everything on, then, when i finally get to third period, my free period, and i just wanna check my e-mail and read something from somebody, it won't let me in... it logs in and everything... then.. nothing.... i go and hack into someone elses account and it loads... why the hell does hotmail hate me?? Why do computers hate me?? dammit.... oh,to top it off, I haven't done my ,math homework so not only am i screwed my friend is to because we have a deal where we do eachothers homework everyother night.. oh well, thats lots of fun.. till later.. this is *Berry
1:45 in the morning June 9th Wow!! that is so incredibly awesome... ok, first of all, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who dropped me a note in my guestbook about my 'random rants' page... I REALLY appreciate it, ya know, when i was writing these, I had *NO* idea that so many people would read these, let alone find them interesting, that is just so incredibly... neat-o!! heeheehee.. ok, i'm in a really good mood now! See, the orignal reason that i started writing thes was more of like a personal diary for myself, for some reason, its is so much easier for me to express myself through typing than anything else, excluding music, of course... I have trouble saying how i feel outright, maybe i'm just to shy i don't know.. and when I hand write thing, it just doesn't flow the same...maybe its the quick motions that typing creates, you know how some people are auditory learners and others are visual learners, maybe there are also different kinds of ways people express themselves... you know what i mean?? Oh, heres another example of my keyboard expressions... two essays, (for those of you in my english class... Great Expectations writing assignment 1 and 2) first one, I wrote a rough draft, had it corrected and the whole thing... took me about 45 minutes total... grade: C second assignment.... no rough draft, only puter quick spell check, total time, about 20 minutes... grade:B+.... has to be some sort of trend going on there, huh?? heeheehee amazin! Well, lets see.. i'm in the mood for writing quite a bit tonight, so what do you think should we cover a wide variety of topics?? you:"no no no.. please.. NO!!" me: "shut up and listen good!" "don't make me beat you with my slipper child..." (heeheehee..) Ok, so lets see... lets go into... mmmmmm.. friendship.. (this is becoming a reaccuring topic, huh??) anyways... I think is absolutely amazing how two people can be really good friends, even best friends and still be completely oblivious to eachothers feelings, or can be completely over-obsessive and possessive about them... its really quite interesting... Something quite interesting happened to me today... or, actually, yesterday now, huh.. damn i'm a night person... so, its the end of the school year, right, and i'm signing peoples yearbooks.. and, I always try and write something nice to each person, something different, make them feel special, let them know how I feel about them, ya know? well, anyways, I sign my friends, and I say that i'll a;ways be there for her and no matter whats happening in her life shell be able to turn to me with all her crisises and i'll try my best to help her, and that as long as she doesn't mind me teasing her everynow and then... basically, just told her how i felt and that i'd always be her friend, and the next period, after she read it, it brought her to tears... that is definately a memory I am going to treasure, its really amazing how much you can reassure someone and help them out just by letting them know how much they mean to you...... *smiles* and to my friend i'm talking about, thank you, that really meant alot to me. NOW, on a more evil note... I have to tell you about this damn airheaded girl i had a run-in with yesterday on the internet, now, I have to preface this, because i don't want to offend anyone it is not supposed to offend, now, as I am an equal oportunity offender, don't be mad if it doesn't apply to you, i'm sure i'll make fun of you sooner or later ;) now.. where was I oh, yes... blondes, now now, lets not see any fur flying here, but my dear friends, and I am especially refering to those of you that are smart blondes... I know there is a plethera of dumb blonde jokes and all that other stuff that you hear only too often but you have to admit, my dears, that among you classy fair headed fairies, there is always the troll... you know what I mean, the one that is just the epiotme of a dumb blonde.. full of herself, stupid, ditsy,thinks shes better and more attractive than everybody just because she is a blonde, and, outright, a bitch, that gives a bad name to those of you that are NOT the dumb blonde. Anywho, as I was saying, My sweetie pie (*sighs and smiles*) was talking to me through aol instant messenger, and I notice on my buddy list that all of a sudden he has a warning of 20% and, getting warnings being so unatural for such a sweet and wonderful and smart and.. (ok, sorry, i didn't mean to gush bout him) nice guy, i asked him what was up... He said he didn't know all the warnings he got were given without a screename (chicken shit thing to do if you ask me) since he didn't know much about warnings, I filled him in on the fact that you can only get a warning from someone if you send them a text message, so I ask him, who have you talked to through aol besides me? He says.. some girl imed me... i don't know who she is though... so, the next day i'm talking to him, and it happens AGAIN.. this time I ask him what she said... now, his screename has 'homer' like form the simpsons in it, and this girl, this twat, out of the blue ims him saying, 'homer is a homo' now, he was handeling it well and everything but of course, I am completely over=protective of those people that i love and care about, adn really anyone who is getting picked on, so, i begged him and begged him and begged him to give me her screename so that i could get even my way, the diabolical, insult-them-with-big-words-they-don't-know way, so after promising him that i wouldn't say anything like 'homer sent me to kick your ass' or anything else that might make him seem like less of a guy (hes so cute! heehee) he gave me her screen name, so, first of all i check out her profile...shes into the whole look at me aint i a cute little blonde.... she also posted a picture of herself in her profile (how sad and desperate) it also says how she like to hang out at pismo beach, well, let me tell you, pismo beach is in hicksville, nowhere, its a tiny little beach about 50feet wide and it used to be known for its clams, but, its been polluted since 1970.... anyways, her screename says 'Roxy' in it so, i message her saying.. hi, a/s/l..do you surf? so she messages me back and says, no, i don't surf.. so, by that time my sweeties warning was up to 85% and so I say... "you don't surf? so you're like, just a poser then?" she doesn't answer... "hello.. poser girl, are you there?" she tells me to shut up... so I say... "hey, you do have some brain activity, not bad for a blonde" then she warns me like, 4 times, get this,anomously.. ha, like i don't know whos warning me... then she tells me that i m wasting her time... amazing, I thought time stood still in hicksville.. but really, I didn't think she would back down that easily...by the way, she blocked me, and so I can no longer tell her how greatly I think of her so, if you want to bug someone, try.... FoxyRoxySweety15..... this is one girl that needs to be pulled off her high horse. anyways, thats about it, by the way, if anybody wants to bug me through aim my screen name is Blueberrygurl or Blueberrygurlie... i've been switching between trying to figure something or other out.. anyways, I should probably end this rant, it could be like a, page of its own.. I wanna say THANK YOU!!!! again to all the people who read my rants and dropped me a note about them... that was really very cool of you.. also, don't be afraid to e-mail me comments...good or bad, I like hearing feedback, and i always find time to eventually answer.... thank you all so much again... sorry this one was so long...I think i'm going to do a site change soon.. maybe give it a summer flavor... heehee... again, sorry for my spelling,and thanks for listening... luv you all!! *Berry
