I yawned and stretched as my alarm blared in my ear. I clamored out of bed and stumbled to the shower as usual. The house looked a little odd, but I figured it was just because I was tired and my vision was blurry. I turned on the shower and nothing seemed out of the ordinary other than the mechanical arms that began washing my hair and brushing my teeth for me. I shrugged.
“I must be really tired I muttered,” and after I stepped out of the shower, passed by a giant blow dryer as I stood on a moving conveyor belt and was dressed by a robot maid I sat down for breakfast still a bit groggy.
“You know,” I said to myself, “there’s something strange going on. I just can’t put my finger on it.” Then a plate of food was plopped down in front of me by an android wearing an apron and cook’s hat. “Hmm, this is different,” I said. “If I didn’t know better I’d swear....Oh no, it’s finally happened,” I cried suddenly, “My nightmares are coming true, machines are taking over the world, I’ve become a giant piece of cheese!! No wait, that’s not right.” I quickly realized that this was probably not the most likely explanation. I decided I should just go to school and see what was going on there.
I headed out the door and was immediately greeted by a rocket powered monkey navigated cheese mobile. It took off into the sky following several other rocket powered flying vehicles on the way toward school. I was mildly amused by the driver, a large chimp who I began poking at and giggling as he made squeaky monkey sounds in protest. I was slightly confused however when a human voice came from his lips and he shouted at me to stop it and said that I didn’t pay him enough to harass him. I sat back in my seat and looked down at the town. I thought the sky scrapers looked a little odd for the small town I had walked through yesterday but I shrugged this off too.
Soon we arrived at school. I walked in the door and tried to head to my locker, but the moving conveyor belt led me straight back out the door. A computerized voice boomed, “Unidentified eye scan, you are not on file.” Then the door slammed in my face. I was a bit aggravated and proceeded to remove my US History book from my bag and beat the door repeatedly. “Stop hitting me!” the computer voice whined and relinquished the entry way.
I stomped in. “What is going on here?!?” I said, having grown even more agitated.
I side stepped the conveyor belt walkway and took in the scene. The building looked somewhat the same but with several shiny new metallic contraptions. The people looked even more odd to me. I had never seen any of them before. The oddest thing of all, however, was the sign on the bulletin board. It read “Happy New Year 2026.”
“Judas Priest!” I cried. “Hmm, well that explains things now doesn’t it.” I wandered up to a student. I really wasn’t sure how to present myself. I lingered a moment and he stared at me strangely. “Uh, hi,” I said, “Umm, this could sound a little odd I suppose but I went to bed last night, and, well, it was the year 2001 and now it appears to be 2026 and I’m a tad confused.”
The boy looked at me a moment and then burst out laughing right in my face. “Hey guys,” he cried to his friends, “This new girl thinks she’s from the dark ages. What a weirdo.”
I was dejected but I approached someone else. I explained myself once more. This person seemed a bit more understanding and referred me to the monkey over lords. I was slightly confused, until the bell rang and a conveyor belt rushed me into a class room and I plopped down in a desk. I was astonished when I looked toward the front of the room and saw a large, fully clothed monkey standing at the head of the class. “Good morning class,” he boomed in a commanding voice.
“Good morning, oh supreme monkey overlord, sir,” the class echoed in response. This struck me as slightly disconcerting but I raised my hand anyway and told the large monkey the story of how I’d come to find myself in the future.
“I think I might have slept through the last 25 years.” I said, sure that I had come to the right conclusion.
The monkey glared at me and..........For super mega unhappy ending see ending 1, for super mega happy ending see ending 2, for super mega sensible ending see ending 3
Ending 1
with one quick move he produced a laser beam from underneath the desk and pointed at me. “Plead for mercy,” he said. I didn’t know exactly how to plead for mercy but I tried my best. I guess it must have worked because at present I find myself in a small cage. It’s not much of a cage but at least I still have all of my particles in the right place. Wait a minute, what’s that, is that?.......a giant cheese monster!!!! They’re feeding me to a giant alien cheese monster, help!! Somebody help me please, please, ple-
The End
Ending 2
suddenly he blurted out, “You look like you’d make a good supreme overlord of school. How would you like to be head of the school and boss everyone around?” I was slightly confused, but I don’t mind now since I spend everyday in a lavishly decorated office while lesser servant monkeys fan me and feed me pealed grapes and I send students to a miserable death with the cheese monster with one snap of my fingers. What a wonderful life.
The End
Ending 3
laughed. “Ha, you foolish human child. You probably got caught in a time warp while you were sleeping. Go back home and go to bed and when you wake up the particles of the fabric of time and space should have gone into retrograde and returned you to your pathetic past world without superior monkey intelligence.” I was too scared to question him so I did as I was told and when I woke up the next morning I saw no machines, no mechanical walkways, nothing of the future at all. I was so happy that I didn’t pay much attention to the fact that the house bore remarkable resemblance to a cave or that Neanderthals were celebrating the creation of fire near my bed. I’m just happy to be back to the present.
The End
