“I Wish I was”
By Fala

(sung to “If you’re happy and you know it, Clap your hands”)

TIRA:
Oh I wish I was a pretty little rose
(little rose)
Oh I wish I was a pretty little rose
(little rose)
Coz if Carrot got too horny
I’d just jab him with a thornie
If I only was a pretty little rose!

GATEAU:
Oh I wish I was a giant dinosaur
(dinosaur)
Oh I wish I was a giant dinosaur
(dinosaur)
I would then have an excuse
to be a brainless clumsy moose
If I only was a giant dinosaur!

CHOCOLATE:
Oh I wish I was a pair of boxer shorts
(boxer shorts)
Oh I wish I was a pair of boxer shorts
(boxer shorts)
I’d be lecherous and dirty
under darling’s pants and shirtie
if I only was a pair of boxer shorts!

CARROT:
Oh I wish I was a frilly leotard
(leotard)
Oh I wish I was a frilly leotard
(leotard)
I’d be tight and I’d be curly
on the bods of pretty girlies
if I only was a frilly leotard!

MILPHEY:
Oh I wish I was a naughty bondage chick
(bondage chick)
Oh I wish I was a naughty bondage chick
(bondage chick)
I would be a busty baddie
who’d make Carrot call me “daddy”
if I only was a naughty bondage chick!

MARRON:
Oh I wish I was a dancer in a bar
(in a bar)
Oh I wish I was a dancer in a bar
(in a bar)
All the drunks would come in droves
to watch me open up my robes
if I only was a dancer in a bar!

ALL:
Oh we wish we were the Spoonish Mafia
(Mafia)
Oh we wish we were the Spoonish Mafia
(Mafia)
Clad in trenchcoats we would pillage
every magic-user’s village
if we only were the Spoonish Mafia!