Stuck in the Middle with You
TITLE: Stuck in the Middle with You
AUTHOR: Rich (Starbug42@aol.com/Miss Mister)
RATING: PG
FEEDBACK: Yes please...
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and I'll give you a cookie.
SUMMARY: Xander gets another job. Let's just say that Dante and Randall
would be proud. (Clerks joke.)
DISCLAIMER: All the Buffy characters belong to some dude named Joss. I have
no clue who that guy is. The song mentioned later on in this fic is by a
band from the 80's. I don't know which one. The part where Spike and Dru
are mentioned is taken almost verbatim from an episode of Red Dwarf, so I
guess that part belongs to Grant Naylor.
For Sam, cause she rocks.
*********************************************
Stuck in the Middle with You
9:30 PM
Xander closed the cash register drawer as the last purchasing customer left
the store. A few other stray customers were huddled around the Slim Jim
display. Xander grabbed the P.A. microphone. "Your attention please, the
store is now closing. Please come up to the front of the store to make your
final purchase." Being the night time assistant manager of a dollar store
was Xander's ninth odd job since he came back from his "road trip". So far,
it kinda sucked. Especially since tonight was Christmas Eve and Xander
wasn't supposed to be here today. He got called in. On Christmas Eve.
Needless to say, he was pretty pissed.
He got the call from the head manager at noon. "Hey, Xander *cough cough*,"
said the bastard in question over the phone. "Hey, Jay. What's up?" "Xan,
I can't make it in today. *cough cough* Nasty cold." Xander's face
dropped. "Awww, Jay. Don't do this to me..." "Sorry, man. Bye." And he
hung up before Xander got the chance to say no. "Bastard," he thought.
The Slim Jim people were still gathered around the thin beef products.
Xander grabbed the P.A. mic again. "Hey, remember that thing I mentioned
about coming up to the front? Yeah, I meant *now*." One of the little girls
turned her head. "We can't decide if we want original or spicy!" she yelled.
"Why don't you just get one of each?" asked Xander.
"We only have one dollar!" she shouted back, getting frustrated.
"Maybe Santa will bring you a whole display of your very own."
"Yeah," said the girl now exiting the store with her qlique in tow, "and
maybe he'll bring you a real job."
Even though Xander's pride was hurt, he was glad to be rid of them. He
picked up a broom and began to sweep up the store. A few minutes later, he
heard the door open again. "Sorry," he said in mid sweep. "We're closed."
"You mean I have to wait until tomorrow to buy something from a dollar store?
Oh no! What will I do?"
Xander turned to see Willow smiling at him. "Aren't you a little far from
home, missy?" Willow's cheeks and nose were red from the cold and her hair
and jacket were covered in snow. She must have walked the half an hour from
the dorm rooms to here. "Well, I talked to Buffy and she said that you were
pretty bummed about having to work on Christmas Eve, so I thought I'd come up
and help you close up shop."
Xander hugged his best friend. "Thanks, Wills. It's been a horrible day."
Willow smiled and grabbed a broom. Soon, the two had the money counted, the
store swept, and the products faced. Xander shut the lights off as Willow
stepped into the vestibule. As Xander was fumbling for his keys, he noticed
the glowing hunk of plastic that they called a Christmas tree. "Will, unplug
the tree for me?"
Willow looked at the two plugs in the outlet. One green, one black. "The
green one?" she asked. "Yeah," answered Xander while thinking, "no, the
other tree..." Willow grabbed the plug and pulled it from the wall. And the
power went out in the building.
Even in the pale moonlight, she could see Xander's eyes widen. "Noooooo!" he
screamed. "Willow that's the power supply for the store!"
"I asked if you meant the green plug and you said yes!"
"I thought you meant the green tree!"
"...As opposed to the little pink one in the other corner?!?"
Xander cursed under his breath. "Well, can't we just plug it back in?" asked
Willow. "No," stated Xander. "The alarm will go off and the police will
come and I'll get fired for being stupid." Willow was confused. "Well how
about we just leave and then come back and fix it early in the morning?"
"We can't. The doors are electronically locked. I was supposed to unlock
the door, pull the plug, then leave. Sorry, Will. We're stuck here. Merry
Christmas."
******************************************
11:46 PM
Willow and Xander had been sitting in silence for a while. Xander accepted
the blame for their situation and it took some time for Willow to convince
him that he wasn't stupid. It was just a mistake. Human error. But after
that conversation, there was nothing. Xander decided it was time to strike
up some talkage.
"Did you have any plans tonight?" he asked. Willow shrugged. "Not really. I
was going to see if Buffy wanted to go down to the Cineplex and catch a late
movie, but that's it. You?" Xander sighed. "Yeah. Me and mom were going
to make Christmas cookies." Willow gave him a questioning look. "Well, she
was going to make them and I was going to eat them. Then, later on, me and
Anya were going to do some Christmas tradition thing."
"Tradition?"
"Yeah, it's a...sex thing. I really don't want to get into it...er, talk
about it." Willow decided to close the book on that subject. "You seem to
really like her." Xander smiled. "Oh yeah. She's so much different than
any girlfriend I've ever had. She's so open and honest. I never have to try
to guess what she's thinking because she just comes out and says it. Plus I
get to have sex, so...yay."
"So you and Cordy never..."
"Cordelia? No. I mean, I wanted to but she...wouldn't. I asked about it
once. Like, 'Why is it that you slept with this guy and that guy but not
with me?' She said it was because I meant something to her and she wanted
our first time to be perfect. I think that was the sweetest thing anyone's
ever said to me."
"You miss her, huh?"
"I try not to...Can we change the subject?"
"Sorry. Um, what do you want to talk about?"
Xander paused. "Have you ever been with a woman?"
Willow's eyes widened. "What? Xander what is the matter with you?"
"Man," breathed Xander, "there is just no good time to ask that question."
Willow brushed it off. "So what time is the morning guy supposed to get
here?"
"7:00," Xander sighed. "Seven long hours to go..."
******************************************
1:59 AM
Xander was officially bored. The vestibule was only six feet by six feet so
there wasn't that much room to move around. But now there was an even bigger
problem. He was trapped in here with Willow. And he had to pee. Bad.
Willow, having been his friend for years, picked up on this right away.
"Man," she said smiling to herself, "I sure could go for a soda right now.
Or maybe an ice cold Big Gulp from 7-11. Ooo! They have those Double Gulps
now. It's like a full gallon." Xander growled at her obvious attempt to
torture him. "Oh and they have that new Slurpee machine at the mall..."
"Shut up, Willow..."
"Did you try the new flavor Snapple has?"
"Shut up!"
**************************************************************
4:30 AM
After Xander "watered" the Christmas tree (which left the vestibule smelling
great), They had run out of things to say. Again. Xander decided to go over
how pathetic his life was.
"Let's see...there was Miss French, Buffy, you, Ampata, Cordy..." Willow was
confused again. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm going over all the
girls I fell for. Man, I gotta get me a life."
"For me, there's only been Oz," Willow stated with a small sigh. Xander
cringed at the touchy subject. "Yes, I still miss him," said Willow,
answering his unspoken question. "Where do you think he went?" he asked
cautiously. "I don't know. I just hope he's alright." Xander raised an
eyebrow. "I know I sound like a worried mother. But...I love him. I love
him so much." Tears began to run down her face. "And my biggest fear isn't
if he's coming back or not. It's that he's out there somewhere...hurt
or...lost...or worse...and he's all alone...and I can't help him..." Xander
moved across the vestibule and embraced his best friend. She cried on his
shoulder and he held her there until her breathing returned to normal.
"I'm better now," she said, barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry, I just..."
Xander took a tissue from his pocket and handed it to her. "Hey, you don't
need to apologize. I know what it's like." Willow nodded.
"Do you need anything? A hug? Another tissue?"
"Well...there is one thing you could do..."
"Name it."
"Something that you haven't done for me in a long time...almost a year..."
Xander thought about it for a minute. "Oh, Will...no, I-I couldn't."
"Please, Xander?"
Xander looked around nervously. "Will, we're almost in public here. Plus,
one of us could get hurt..."
"Please? For me?" Willow pouted and flashed her puppy dog eyes at him.
Xander stood up with a sigh. Willow clapped her hands and laughed as Xander
did the Snoopy dance. Until he crashed into the tree.
**************************************************************************
5:33 AM
"This sucks," said Xander. "I don't need this aggravation. I'm not even
supposed to be here today...or yesterday, or whatever. Willow closed her
eyes. "Xander, give me a song to sing." Xander was brought out of his whiny
trance. "Pardon?"
"I wanna sing. I'm bored out of my mind. Give me a song." Xander sat in
silence for a moment. "I got one..." he said finally. "Ooo, but I don't
know what it's called."
"How's it go?"
Xander began to sing. "It gets in your eyes, it's making you cry, don't know
what to do..." Willow smiled and joined him.
"Don't know what to do.
Looking for love,
Calling heaven above...
Send me and angel.
(Woo-ooo-ooo-ooo)
Send me an angel.
(Woo-ooo-OOO-ooo)
Right now.
Right now...
They sang until they forgot the rest of the words. Then it was back to the
silence. It was about quarter to six and they were bored. Again. Xander
decided to speak his mind.
"Hey, Wills?"
"Yeah?"
"You remember Drusilla?"
"Of course."
"Did you ever think she was sexy?"
"Drusilla the vampire?"
"Every time I think about her...I don't know. Her body just drives me crazy."
"I think in all actuality...Drusilla might be the sexiest vampire in the
world."
"Good. I thought I was going crazy."
"She's incredible!"
"What do you think of the vamp version of you?"
"Evil Willow? Well, I would go with her...but I'd be thinking of Dru..."
"This is crazy. Why are we talking about going out with Evil Willow?"
"You're right. We're nuts. This is an insane conversation."
"...She'll never leave Evil Xander and we know it."
Willow nodded in agreement.
*****************************************************************
7:00 AM
Willow and Xander had finally gotten to sleep about half an hour ago. So of
course, the good ol' head manager Jay decided to come in at that moment and
wake the two. He unlocked the door and let Xander, who was leaning against
it, fall flat on his black. Xander's cry of pain woke Willow and she helped
his feet.
"Xander!" shouted Jay. "What the hell are you doing?" Xander rubbed the
back of his head. "We got locked in. Pulled the wrong plug."
"Who the hell is this?" Jay shouted again. "This is Willow," answered
Xander. "She stopped by last night and helped me close."
"You're fired."
Xander paused for a second to take that in. "Oh yeah?" he said, leaving the
store. "Well, I have your keys." With that Xander slammed the door shut,
locking Jay inside. Jay watched in horror as Xander threw the keys into a
nearby trash can.
"Xander, get back here!" shouted Jay. "Xand...What the hell did you do to
this tree!?!"
THE END
*******************************
Okay, so it wasn't great. But I needed to write. I wanted to give something
back to the ficcers of the Internet. And I apologize. Here's the receipt if
you want to exchange it for a better one...
Rich
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