This fic won a Silver Frog Award for being nominated for Best Comedy/Parody in 1999.
**********************************************
Title: Rich's Fairytale
Author: Rich (Frame by Karen and Rich)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Send feedback to both Karen (Coe42@aol.com)and Rich (Starbug42@aol.com). Joss owns crap.
Feedback: Please. It's 2:14 and my brain is fried. Kill me.
A simple AOL Instant Message between Rich and Karen.
***********************************************
"Rich's Fairytale" 1/1
Karen sat in front of her computer. She had a long night of computer
animating ahead of her and it was rendering time. Joy. An hour and a half of
pointless waiting. She was exhausted and bored. Luckily Rich came online.
"Tell me a story." Karen demanded wishing to be entertained.
Rich laughed. "A story, eh? As in "Once upon a time?"
"Yep. Totally."
Rich thought and thought. "Um...okay. Is it okay if you've heard this before?"
"Sure." Karen didn't care. She was bored, damn it! Then she thought about it. "Add
Oz to the story."
"Crap." What Rich actually meant is, "Now I have to think of something. And
all I was gonna do was Goldilocks."
Karen was generous. "He can be a prince…or the princess. That would be funny."
After thanking him for the distraction, Karen settled back in the crappy
uncomfortable desk chair and waited. "So?" She grumbled impatiently.
"Prince Oz was the kindest, most handsome man in the entire land of Sunnydale."
Karen grinned. "I like that."
"I figured you would. One day while with some servants at the market,
Prince Oz came upon a petite peasant girl, buying some fruit at a stand."
"Willow?"
"Okay, sure. Why the heck not. Remember, I have no clue where this is going.
The peasant girl had hair the color of a morning sunrise. And eyes as
green as the greenest emerald. Prince Oz wasn't exactly the talkative type so he had no idea how to
approach this woman. He was after all the Prince, and couldn't just say, "Yo,
was up?" He decided to seek advice from one of his closest servants, Joseph
of Chandler on how to "pick up chicks.
"After a brief lesson, Prince Oz strode up to the beautiful maiden and,
looking her up and down said, "Hey...How you doin'?"
The beautiful peasant girl smiled at the Prince's good looks and attractive
pick up line.
"I bid thee good day, Your Majesty," Willow said with a curtsey.
"Please," said Prince Oz, "You needn't humble yourself before me. It is I
who should be bowing before a magnificent creature like yourself."
Willow's cheeks reddened. "My name is Willow, sir." Prince Oz frowned.
"There is no need for all this Sir business."
Willow raised an eyebrow. "Then what may I call you?"
With a look back at Joseph, the Prince smiled and said, "You can call me
anything you like, as long as you just call me, baby."
"Willow, offended at the comment, took her hand from the Prince's briskly.
"Damn. No happy?" Karen's not very coherent after one AM.
"Maybe later. Ahhh! I don't know where to go with this!"
Gamely, Rich continued. "My fair maiden," the Prince pleaded. "Please do not
be offended by my words. I am but a man and have no freakin' clue as to what
to say to a beautiful woman like yourself."
Karen grinned evilly. "Make him play e flat diminish nine."
"With what? Did they have guitars back then?"
"Yeah, but they called em Lutes."
"So the Prince is like a Bard?"
"Yep."
Rich knew she was insane, but decided to play along. "Alrighty"
"Beautiful Willow," spoke the Prince, "Allow me to make up for my weird-ass
comments by serenading you. Come to the castle tomorrow at dusk." Willow
thought for a moment, deciding whether or not to trust the handsome devil.
"I shall try," she said, finally.
"With that, the red headed beauty was gone into the crowd, and the Prince
stood alone. "And I shall think about you all day," he added silently."
END PART 1
TURN TAPE OVER
Welcome to Intermission...do do do do do do...
"Prince Oz stood at the window of his bedroom practicing the lute. His
nimble fingers glided over the strings, but it just didn't sound right. Again
and again he tried. But to no avail."
"The sun has nearly set," he said. "Willow is to be here any
moment. What am I to do?" He said to no one in particular.
"Dude," spoke Devon, his musical instructor, "You're thinking too much."
"Have a bong hit, slow it down, take a little Ozzy time."
Prince Oz rolled his eyes. His fingers strummed the strings again, but he
couldn't find the right sound for his beautiful maiden. Devon passed the
breast shaped bong to Prince Oz. "Dude, I'm telling you. You're problems
will remain, but you'll care a lot less."
Prince Oz sighed. If he just took one hit, maybe Devon would shut up long
enough for him to think...
"Light me," said Prince Oz. Devon struck a match and the Prince inhaled
deeply.
"This story has illegal content." Karen remarked. "It's gonna be PG-13 now."
"Yeah but who cares. It's funny." Rich replied.
Moving right along, "There," said the Prince, "I hope you're...woah." The Prince stopped as a giant rainbow appeared in the middle of the room and laughed at him.
"And just what are you laughing at, rainbow?" said the Prince. Devon looked
on, more than a bit worried.
"I am laughing at you inability to play the lute. The strings are all there
but you don't have any fingers."
"Crap," said the Prince.
The Prince looked up. "The fight's about to begin," said the rainbow.
Prince Oz looked over as a giant E battled a number nine with a pogo stick.
*Squish!* The Giant E ran the nine through with the pogo stick and the nine
vanished into thin air.
"Um, Oz man? You okay in there?" Devon stared at his whacked out friend.
"Shhh," said the Prince quietly. "This means something...this is important."
The Prince's fingers grew back and he strummed the chords again. He played
three songs all the way through and it sounded great.
"E flat diminish nine," the prince said aloud.
"What?" said Devon. You never knew about that cord?" The Prince rolled his eyes and continued
to play as Willow walked up the path to the castle...The End."
Karen laughed, but the story lacked closure. "Did they live happily ever
after?"
"Nope."
Surprised, "Why not?"
"See in all the confusion and happiness that Oz was experiencing, he forgot
it was a full moon that night... Soon as the sun set... "
"Holy crap. Did he eat her?"
"Yup. Devon too."
Karen fell out of her chair again.
"No, I was just kidding. They met, he serenaded her, and they made sweet
love down by the fire."
"Awesome..." said Karen, aloud.
The End.
Pick a Fic
Home
Willow Fic
Buffy/Willow Fic
Xander Fic
Faith Fic
Spike Fic
Oz/Willow Fic
Drusilla Fic
Oz Fic
Misc. Fic
