Delusional Resolution
Title: Delusional Resolution
Author: Rich(Starbug42@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Feedback: I'd love some. Not sure if this is any good.
Distribution: If you want it, feel free to ask me.
Summary: James Marsters thinks he's...well, just read. It's a Spike fic,
sorta.
Disclaimer: Everyone owns themselves in this fic.
For Karen and Sam for putting up with my drunken antics.
******************************************************************************
********************
"Delusional Resolution"
James Marsters walked off the set after just finishing filming the episode
that the network executives would like to call "Lover's Walk". James liked
to call it "Love's Bitch". FCC bastards.
He walked around that ugly as sin dancing frog as he made his way to his car.
He flipped through a couple of pages of the script from his next episode,
which was to air a few weeks after "Lover's Walk". They had him doing the
strangest things in this ep. He wasn't quite sure of the details but he was
going to become a regular again. Well, thank God. Sitting at home waiting
for that phone call from Joss was never fun. He looked at his watch. 5:14
AM.
James sighed. He just wanted to go home to his soft, comfortable bed and
finish reading the script just so he could find out how he gets Dru back from
Brazil. He stepped off the curb as he flipped another page. Headlights bore
down on him. He took a sip of his coffee as the tires squealed. He looked
up. He felt the pain in the side of his leg as the bumper connected. James
was airborne. His head crashed into the concrete. Five minutes later, which
seemed like hours, he heard sirens. "Dru," he thought before he lost
consciousness. "She's in Brazil . . ."
************************************************************
James' eyes fluttered open and looked into the eyes of Juliet Landau. "Dru?"
he said weakly. "James!" shouted Juliet, springing from her chair. "You're
awake!" James looked around the hospital room. "Why am I here?"
"You go hit by a car," said Juliet, taking his hand. "James, why are you
talking in your Spike accent?"
"Me? Why are you talking like a Yank?"
"Oh, you must have hit your head hard. You were walking to your car and . .
." James threw the blankets back and got out of the bed groggily, never
taking his eyes off of her. "You're not Dru."
"James, don't! You need your rest!" James kept his distance. "Where is
she?" he screamed at Juliet. "Oh, geez, James. Wait until Joss gets here.
He can explain it a lot better!"
"Joss? Who the hell is Joss?"
"Joss! Joss Whedon! He's the producer and the script writer . . .James,
wait!" But he was already out the door.
"That bastard's got my Dru."
********************************************************
Joss Whedon typed away frantically at his computer: "Spike walks down the
path. 'Who the hell needs Dru?' he says. Dru, smiling devilishly, hops on a
plane to Europe." Laughing, Joss saved the script onto a disk and switched
his computer off. After the bat smacked him in the back of the head, Joss
didn't think the script was so funny.
********************************************************
Joss awoke with a terrible pain in his head. Also he had no clue where he
was. It looked like some kind of hotel room. He sat up on a bed with a
plaid bedspread. Yuck. Hotels in California really need to torn down. All
of them. Everywhere. "Wakey, wakey," said James, coming in with an ice
bucket from the hall. Joss blinked as the light from the window. He could
tell it was daytime even though the curtains were drawn. "James?" said Joss,
"What are you doing?"
"Don't call me that! Who the hell is this James guy?"
"I got a call from Juliet after you left the hospital," said Joss. "James,
you're sick. You need to go back to the hospital and get some rest." James
was fed up. "You listen to me, you wanker. If you hadn't noticed, I'm the
one running the show here. And my name is Spike!" Joss' eyes widened. "Oh,
dear Lord," he whispered.
"Ja . . . er, Spike. I've got a big fat news flash for you. You're not a
vampire." James looked at him and smiled. "Good one, mate. And I suppose
you're the queen of England?" Joss got up from the bed. "Take a look in the
mirror."
James turned in the direction Joss was pointing to see a picture of himself
on the wall. Upon further inspection, he noticed the picture was moving. It
was his reflection. "All right, then. What is this rigged? I give up,
mate. How'd you do that? Some kind of spell?" Joss sighed and walked over
to the curtains and threw them open. Sunlight flooded into the room.
Shielding his eyes, James looked for a place to cover himself up.
"It doesn't burn, James!"
James slowly walked out into the sunlight. "This is one of those gypsy
things, isn't it?" Joss sighed again. "James, listen!" James walked over
to Joss. "I've had enough of this! Where's Dru?" Joss gave up. "Brazil."
*******************************************************
James squinted as he walked out into the sun. Birds were singing. There was
a slight breeze as people walked around looking happy. Oh yeah. He was
definitely cursed. Dru would help him. He'd get her back and she was going
to love her again. He didn't care if he had to terrorize the entire country.
He'd find her. He hopped into his car. Maybe this sunlight thing wouldn't
be so bad. After all, there were a lot more people around during the day.
James started drooling over the thought of lunch . . .
Joss picked up the phone and dialed. After four rings, his assistant picked
up. "Hey, Eddie, is Aly around? Okay . . . Aly? No, I'm fine. I've got a
horrible headache but I'm fine . . . Well, he's . . . He's headed for Brazil
. . ."
The black Chevrolet speeded down the Interstate. As he lit another cigarette
he rolled his window down and turned up the radio.
"And much!
Much more than this!
I DID IT MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
**********************************************************
And that's why we didn't see Spike for the rest of Season Three.
The End
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